We can certainly blame others for our words and actions but at the end of the day we own every decision we make. I remember as a small child using someone else as an excuse for my behavior. My mothers response was always the same, “if someone told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?” Of course my answer was always no. Why as a society do we have the need to place blame on someone? Why do we feel the need to inflict shame on someone already going through a difficult set on circumstances? What the world needs is a little less shaming and a lot more loving and understanding. Which category do you fit into? Are you a shamer or an understander?
Tact: adroitness and sensitivity in dealing with others or with difficult issues.
People have feelings. We are all people. Why is it so hard to be gentle with our words? Why can’t we try and understand what someone is trying to explain to us? Is empathy something you are either born with or not? How can some people be so cold while others are so amazingly compassionate and kind. To the kind, compassionate ones, I applaud you and say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I truly appreciate each and everyone of you.
One of the reasons I believe I suffer from depression is because I feel so deeply with my own heart. I was born with so much empathy and compassion for other people that sometimes it almost destroys me from the inside out. I have to be honest. I am not uninformed but sometimes I cannot stand to watch the news. Today, as I looked at the pictures of these tiny bodies being washed up on shore, it was like stabbing a knife into the center of my heart. Having children of my own, I can hardly tolerate the thought of losing them. We try and provide the best life for our family and sometimes that means putting them at the greatest risk. I cried a few tears. I’m not ashamed to feel. I cried a tear for every body lost in that water and even more for those young boys I saw being carried out of the water. I sat a few minutes in my own pain, saddened by what parts of our world are becoming. It is our world. We have to be accountable for what becomes of it. We have to do our part to spread humanity and the reminder that we are all so deeply connected. We are in one family at war with each other and lives are being destroyed one day at a time. Hope is being lost, spirits becoming forever broken. We can do better than this. We have to. I am a healer by nature. I want to bring more empathy and kindness into the world. Every little bit changes the world for the better. Oh, those pictures…. It is so hard to look but even harder to look away.
Why are we here? Why do we walk through the valley of life? Is it to own nice things? Is it to have an important job and be better than the person standing to our right and left? Is it to teach people a lesson and to criticize, berate and torture the people we are supposed to love. Is it to carry anger and then project that anger onto everyone around us while we wallow in our own hate? Is it to judge and fight and be selfish in every way? I say we are here to love. We are here to be love in every single way imaginable. We live this life to do love, bring love, spread love and experience love. Will we ever get it right?
Don’t be so concerned with everyone else. You cannot change them. That is not your job. It is your job however to deal with your own stuff until you can finally get your heart in the right place. If you walk around and you do not feel love towards other people, it’s time you admit you are part of the problem. My question is, will you do what you can to turn things around? Will you be part of the solution?
Have you ever had anyone in your life who is downright mean? It’s so hard for me to comprehend that any human being would lack empathy, the ability to show kindness and compassion and have so little respect for others that they belittle every chance they get. It’s hard for me to believe that they have been through something so horrible that they turn to ice, spewing off coolness to the people who try to love them. I used to have pity but now I am just disgusted by behavior that hurts and offends other people. Maybe it’s a defect in the brain or maybe it’s just pure selfishness. The older I get, the more I realize that every day I wake up is one day less to live. I just don’t have the time to allow mean or small people into my life. I am blessed that my world is so big that I do not get caught up in the smallness, the things that really don’t matter. I would never intentionally hurt someone. If someone is hurting, I will pick them up and not kick them in the face while they are already down. We are all deserving of respect. If someone cannot offer that, are they really worth being around? It’s a tough question to ponder and it’s even harder to answer.
1) Do you feel personally attacked or offended when someone has a viewpoint that differs from your own?
2) Do you get angry or feel resentful when someone disagrees with you?
Why in the world am I asking these questions? It’s taken me a very long time to learn the real meaning of agreeing to disagree. If I would blog about something important to me and someone would disagree, I used to take it very personally. Now, I am comfortable in the things I believe while at the same time understanding that believing something does not make it true or right for anyone else. I have also learned to listen to someone else’s viewpoint in a way I can really understand where he or she is coming from, NOT with the intent of arguing or trying to change anyone’s mind. Listening and trying to be understanding and empathetic when it comes to what makes someone think the way they do or act the way they act can develop into a deep respect for each other’s differences. If we go beyond the words and really understand the passion behind a particular belief, maybe we won’t be able to agree but we may be able to better understand. Mutual respect, couldn’t we all use a bit more of that. Empathy, kindness…spread more of that. Someone has to do it, why not YOU?