Living Outside Of ThAT Box


Yesterday I expected the world and ended up disappointed. Today I expected the worst and ended up surprisingly happy. Imagine if there were no expectations at all. Life could simply unfold without judgement, without connection to an end result, without holding us prisoner to an emotional outcome. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?

My Magical Mothers Day


So, this is how my Mothers Day would have gone if I were writing the story….

I woke up to two kids sitting in my bed smiling and waiting to read me their lists of why I am the greatest mom in the world. My heart swelled and my eyes filled with tears as I held onto every word. They really captured the essence of all I do and their gratitude toward me was felt beyond the words they spoke.

They couldn’t wait for me to hear all the ideas they had for the day. My son knows how much I’ve been wanting to go for a bike ride around the lake, so after a delicious breakfast at Syrup, we would be heading to the lake. We packed some drinks and stopped to take in the beauty of the water as we sat there taking in the gentle breeze and feeling the sun on our face.

After the ride, we sat on the big deck at Mama Rojas to eat some chips and salsa and enjoy the view. It was so calm and peaceful and no one was in a hurry to leave this wonderful spot. Next, we headed to the movies to see Neighbors. The kids went in to see Spider-Man while me and Scott went into the theatre to have a few laughs.

Next, we drove home and made it to the hot tub just in time to watch the sun set. It was an amazing day and one I will remember always.

Now for the real story!

I was getting dressed in my closet when my daughter came downstairs. She knocked and asked if she could come in…and she did to borrow a shirt. Are you kidding me I thought quietly to myself as I continued to get ready for church. We got in the car and Chase called Kayleigh a jerk because she wouldn’t slide over and the arguing and name calling continued until we dropped them off for religious ed. We grabbed a cup of coffee at Starbucks but the air conditioning was blasting so we sat outside. After fighting with the wind concerned we would blow away, we sat and finished our coffee in the car. Off we drove to church where my son finally stepped outside himself for a moment to say ” oh yeah, Happy Mothers Day” in the middle of the priests sermon. We then sat in the car and my husband remained parked trying to figure out what to do next. Clearly, the day before, I had stressed how much I wanted to go to Syrup for a nice breakfast but as we sat there I finally said, “Can we go, I really have to go to the bathroom.” Next thing I knew, we were pulling in our driveway. It was now 12:20 and no one had eaten and I certainly didn’t have anything planned to eat for the day so there we were.

I told everyone I wanted my van cleaned for my birthday and when I didn’t get that I asked again for Mothers Day. So, I decided to go out and gift myself a clean van. Next thing I know, my daughter comes out and starts to clean along side of me. I really did not want the help because it needed to be cleaned deeply. Then out comes Chase cleaning the windows I had just cleaned with windex a few minutes before, only he was using a dirty rag with water.

I am going to end the story by telling you my van did get amazingly clean and we did go out for dinner at a place with tv’s so we could watch OKC Thunder lose in the last minute of the game. Then, we stop for air because my tire indicator came on only to discover I had a nail in not one, but two tires. So, until we get new tires I will not be driving my nice clean van. And the timing really stinks because a day earlier our pool pump stopped working.

Why am I telling you this? There is a lesson here and it is that our expectations can sometimes ruin our day. If we have a day spelled out in our minds that goes entirely a different way, we end up hurt and disappointed. In hindsight, I should have just said, please drive to Syrup. And, I should have just accepted the fact it was way too windy to go for a bike ride that day anyway. Geez, it was too windy to even sit outside and drink coffee. And the movie? I felt guilty splitting the family because the movie I wanted to see was rated R but really would they have cared? Could mom be selfish on her day and see the movie she’s been waiting to see? And, I should never had planned to watch the game while we ate. There was a chance they would lose and I would have another reason to be disappointed and have indigestion.

Sometimes it’s better to let a day unfold on its own. Even if the stars perfectly align and we do everything we set out to do, there is always a chance we will end up disappointed. Perception and reality are two different things. And sometimes, we just have to accept that.

All in all, the day ended okay. It just didn’t go the way I expected it too and that’s alright. I can focus on everything that went wrong or I can focus on what went right. Sounds like an obvious choice to me. Sometimes we wish we could get a do over but we never do, so make the most of each and everyday and make sure you don’t personally add to the doom and gloom already looming around you. Maybe it’s the pressure of a designated day just for moms that makes us believe that day should be perfect. It’s just a day like any other that we hope the people around us, mainly our kids at least stop and say thanks. If that doesn’t happen, that’s okay too. It’s just one silly day a year.