When Love is Replaced By Hate

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Not long ago, I wore a pair of shoes that rubbed the skin right off the top of my feet. I didn’t know the pain could be any worse until I stepped into the ocean. That saying about pouring salt in the wounds couldn’t be more true. The pain was excruciating. The sting stayed long after my feet were out of the water.

That is what it is like being around people with bad relationships. Years of watching people you love speak with such anger and disrespect toward one another leaves a gaping hole in the middle of your heart. Their words, their resentment, their attitude and actions are the salt that continually burns you up until the pain is so bad you feel sick inside. How can people who once loved each other become so miserable, so hateful? How can people be so angry that they feel justified to speak to their spouse in such a hateful tone? Day in and day out its blame, criticism, name calling, misery. What kind of life can you possibly have when you choose these horrible ways of living day after day? What happens to the people that see it year after year, every holiday, every single day? It makes everything awful for anyone around them. It’s so uncomfortable and disheartening that you wish you could crawl under a rock and hide until you find a way to escape. Do people become so consumed that they can’t even recognize what they are doing to the people around them? Do they even care because their hate for someone is stronger than their love for everyone else? It’s awful to watch from the sidelines and it just makes you never want to step foot in another game. It’s a sad way to remember people who once held such worth in your heart. It hurts to look back on all the times that could have been happy if only the hate would go away. Hate and anger destroy everyone. It starts on the inside until their is no kindness left to share and then it eats away at all the innocent people who try to love those filled with such contempt. Mostly it’s just sad. It makes me want to cry and never open my heart again. That wound gets deeper and bigger until I can’t feel anything around people except pain. I can’t stand by and watch. I don’t want to. It’s slowly killing me inside and I don’t want to witness it anymore. Have you ever experienced anyone you love in such a conflicted relationship? How do you handle it?

Life Hands Us Many Lessons

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So my mom does this little thing that made me think about something today. Sometimes when we are having a conversation about something she doesn’t want to hear or I have an opinion completely different than hers, she will say “Goodbye Kim” and hang up the phone. I noticed also when I blog about something that people have strong opinions toward I will often lose a follower or two. It doesn’t happen often but it does happen. It makes we wonder why we cannot tolerate listening to opinions that are different from our own. I will say this. My opinion is not the word of God. It is neither right nor wrong. In fact, it isn’t really even that important. It is just the way I feel about a particular situation. If it stirs emotion in you the reader, than somewhere it strikes a cord with you personally. My opinion is only offensive if you allow it to be. My opinion and words can only inspire you if you choose to allow them to. Otherwise, I am just a simple girl writing down some feelings and words.

It’s okay to disagree, really it is. But to personally attack someone who feels differently than you takes things to a whole new level. I am open to others opinions. I will respectfully listen and I will respond. I will not however stoop to the point that I disrespect a person over a silly disagreement over something at the end of the day that really doesn’t personally affect or concern me. People need to find a way to be more open to communication. We have fallen victim to arguing and insulting and somewhere along the way, respect for each individual has been lost. Respecting someone does not mean you sacrifice who or what you believe for the sake of giving someone else what he or she wants. Respect, at least to me, does not involve one side ending in a win or defeat. Respect is agreeing to disagree or not expecting someone to sacrifice their beliefs for yours. Respect is not always getting your way and being okay with that. Respect is sometimes walking away from an argument or a fight and sometimes just choosing to remain quiet. Respect is never offending another human being or assuming your needs and wants trump anyone else’s . We are a selfish society and we all feel entitled to life exactly the way we feel it should be. There are way too many people for that to ever result in anyone ever being truly satisfied. It’s a tug if war. Pull a little and give some slack. We can’t pull and pull and pull or we will become so tired that we will just crash. Don’t make things personal, especially when it comes to a silly opinion. Stopping following someone because of one post where your beliefs strongly disagree says quite a bit about our society today. We only want to surround ourselves with people who believe the same and want the same and maybe even act the same. Who are we to play God and to judge and pick and choose the parts we see in other people. They are made up of so many layers on so many levels and because you may support something that I don’t should not separate us. It should simply be noted that you support something I don’t. It shouldn’t define us or our relationships but sadly, we are not yet bigger than our own stifling skin. Maybe someday we will truly learn to love, appreciate and respect our differences as much as we do what makes us the same. Maybe. Maybe not.