There are two types of people in this world. Those who come to the table half in and those who come to the table all in. Don’t waste your time on people who will not give you all they have. You do not deserve half of someone’s love, half of someone’s time and half of someone’s attention. Life is too short to feel like you are not enough. Surround yourself with people who build you up and respect you with the same kind of committed heart. Their lack of time is never a reflection of your worth, but rather an indicator of how much they value your relationship. Choose people carefully and don’t be afraid to reduce the size of your circle. Quality over quantity.
I’ve come to the sad realization that the majority of my time is spent playing solitaire on my cell phone. There is no doubt that I am around people far less than I am alone. I often wonder what makes people too busy to reach out. Don’t we all enjoy coffee or lunch with a friend or do those things fall so far back on the list of things to do that we don’t get around to friendship and companionship anymore? Am I the only one noticing this or have you been feeling lonely and isolated lately too? I miss the days where I could walk out my front door and talk for hours with neighbors. I miss the days when my schedule including people who I loved spending time with. I miss laughing and sharing and bonding. What has life become these days? Am I the only one?
Sometimes we find out who our friends are in the hardest seasons of our lives. We can be surrounded by all kinds of people and then we fall off the cliff, stuck below, with not a single person to help us find a way to get back up. It is during those times when we need people the most but sometimes they are so centered on their own selves that they haven’t even noticed that we’ve gone missing from the fall.
My advice to you is don’t be that friend who doesn’t notice. Be the first one there willing and ready to offer your hands to pull someone back up onto solid ground. Be a safety net, a source of hope and help. We are meant to love one another and to support and encourage people through every season that life brings. Be the friend you want to have. Be the person you’d want to call in a time of need. Be the difference each one of us desperately needs.
I have said several times that I wish I had a tribe of friends who like to work out. I have a handful who like to go out and eat but God only knows how much I crave balance. I need it. Recently I connected with a group who was trying to form for the purpose of exercising. This week we met and went to Barre class today and Tuesday. I kept thinking…I sure do prefer my friends who like to sit and eat. Of course that is not really true. Barre class is just tough to get through and just saying the word makes my face crinkle up in an unflattering manner. The lesson here is to be very careful what you ask for. The other is, it really is possible to attract what you desire. Today I have the best of both world. I worked out and now I get to go out and eat. Baby steps right?
Shout out to anyone on the verge of a panic attack. Hugs and love to each one of you fighting your way through depression each and everyday. Empathy to the parents who worry about your kids with each tick of the clock and struggle with the fear that you haven’t been enough. Support to the parents who know the pain of watching kids who struggle in school and the fight and dedication it takes to battle a system that is lose-lose. Love to those who feel hopeless, alone and broken hearted. My hearts broken too. I have to calm myself down several times a day and have the courage to crawl away from the edge of the cliff. I too worry and question if my parenting has damaged my kids. I wonder if I have done enough, loved enough, if I am enough. You are not alone. Sometimes we fixate too hard on our differences and we miss the chance to make real connections on a level where we are very much the same. This is me reaching out to say I see you. I know you’re there. I hear your cries for help and the pounding of your heart underneath your fancy clothes. I feel your loneliness when I see that look of desperation in your eyes. I am here. I see you. I just thought you should know.
A silly donut. That’s all I could think about when I woke up yesterday. My mouth was watering for one but the thought of venturing out in the cold to actually get one put a big halt in my plans. I went about my day but still had fleeting thoughts about how good that donut would taste. Around noon I checked my email and to my surprise there was a message to check my mailbox. In there, I found the sweetest surprise. Are you ready for this? All the way in the back was a tiny brown bag and when I looked inside….a donut. A neighbor of mine decided to share a small act of kindness and left it there for me to enjoy. The funny part? She had no idea I wanted a donut yesterday. I asked the Universe for a donut and it literally delivered it to my mailbox. Share the kindness and make someone smile today. I know this tiny donut made my day. Time to pay it forward.
In a world where the negative seems to be winning out, I offer this story of hope. My daughter is 17 years old. Every night her friend group debates a topic in a closed group. They are very diverse in their thinking and each of them has very strong opinions. She allowed me to sit in on their group. I was absolutely amazed at how respectful these kids were toward one another. They were allowed a safe place to express their beliefs without being bullied or ridiculed. Tomorrow I am hosting their “Squidsgiving”. They call themselves group squid and tomorrow, although they are very different, they will sit at the table to share a nice dinner and break bread together. I could not be more proud or grateful that these are the kids my daughter shares her deepest thoughts and most special moments with. They are an example to all of us. They are the hope we so desperately need.
A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal~~Steve Maraboli
When someone is having a rough time, find a way to understand.
When someone trusts you enough to vent, listen, don’t judge.
When someone is feeling stressed, offer your calm, not your opinions.
When someone is sinking in despair, offer words of hope.
When someone is down, don’t kick them again, lend a hand and help them up.
When someone feels the world is out to get them, be the one has their back.
Kindness and compassion can make such a difference in someone’s life. Be the difference they need today.
I am finishing this day much happier than when it started. My prayer for today was to find some goodness in the world and boy did it come knocking. Kindness comes from the most unexpected places and today that gift was given to me by an old friend. All the doom and gloom, all the hopelessness and dread were replaced and overshadowed by one not so random act of kindness. People really are good. The important thing is to remain focused on the kind acts and not get too caught up on the negativity of others. I am so grateful at the end of this day. My faith in humanity has been restored. Shout out to the special person who cared enough and took the time to make it happen. My heart is full.
I wont be able to make it tomorrow. How many times have you had plans with someone who cancels every single time? How many times have you opened an email or a text with the opening line, I’m sorry? Not only is it hurtful but it sends a message to the person on the receiving end of the broken plans that he or she is not important enough for your time to be wasted on them. I’m not talking about the occasional blow off or cancellation, I am referring to someone who cancels 80% of the time.
The truth is, you never really know what’s going on with someone. That coffee date may be the only thing someone has looked forward to for weeks. That time together might be the only thing that keeps someone hanging on. If you don’t want to make plans then just don’t make them but don’t belittle someone by making them feel unimportant all the time. Life has a way of doing that on its own so you don’t have to gang up and do it as well. People have feelings. Remember that next time you are about to cancel again.