When women are first married, they are trying their best to get along. They complain little and go out of their way to try and please. Years later, we wake up in our 40s and the little annoying things we stayed quiet about in our twenties are driving us crazy in our forties. We don’t exactly list those things so you know why we are stewing all the time, we just watch and wait for the perfect time to make your life a living….. Well, let’s just stop there. This is highly confidential boys but here is the list. I suggest you take it very seriously and find a way to undo the wrath you have created for yourselves over the last several years.
1) Burping. It’s funny if she does. It’s disgusting if you do. Period.
2) Piles. Put your junk away out of sight. Every pile you make infuriates her more. She will start to think of you as one gigantic pile of sh?!. Sorry, it’s true
3) Home Depot! Every second you spend standing in the same aisle looking at the same objects, she is fantasizing of ways to use those items to cause you pain. It sounds harsh, but believe me it’s true.
4) Driving around aimlessly while pretending you know where you are going. HUgE turnoff!
5) Channel flipping. Put the clicker down and try holding her hand for a change.
6) Watching the same movie over and over. Pretend she’s an old movie and pay her some attention.
7) Reminding her of your life before her and telling her she’s the reason you don’t fish, golf, drink, ski. That will get you far. Keep it up.
8) Making time for everyone and everything but her. Pencil her in. She needs to feel special too.
9) Not changing the kitty litter. Man up! She is sensitive to smell.
10) Beer guts! Seriously, do you want her to have one? Oh that’s right….it’s her fault you don’t exercise too. See number 7.
Well, that’s a small list but I don’t want to overwhelm you. Ladies, anything you’d like to add?