It makes me sad to think that there are some people who will use any and all opportunities to destroy someone. I cannot for the life of me understand how such disgust and hatred toward someone can be the driving passion in so many people’s lives. I’ve watched it publicly and I’ve witnessed it on a personal level as a persons preoccupation with destroying someone becomes not only an obsession but also a roadblock in their own personal lives. Imagine if people put that much focus, attention and intention into making their own lives better. How different the result might be.
Here’s something to think about today. Could using the time we have to judge and destroy others really be the reason we were given this beautiful opportunity to walk through this life? Could we be reduced to such a self sabotaging purpose with all the other possibilities still in our reach? This wanting to destroy others mentality disrespects the time we’ve been given to really do something worthwhile. Why is it easier to hate than it is to embrace and to love? I will never understand it. Never. And I am grateful for that.
If I had the power to un-invent one thing, what would it be? That was the writing prompt for today and an interesting one at that. As soon as I read the words, my answer became clear.
I could un-invent the vacuum cleaner so I would have one less thing to check off my list of things to do to settle down my OCD. I could release myself from this prison of needing to have exact lines in the carpet in the precise direction I am most comfortable with. Better yet, maybe I could un-invent carpets so there was nothing to vacuum in the first place, but I like the feel of the rug on my feet. Maybe I could un-invent cell phones so we could have conversations with real spoken words and life could be the way it used to be when we still had long conversations looking into each other’s eyes in the same room. On the other hand, I like knowing my daughter arrives safely at school especially since this is only her second week driving on her own. The truth is, I would un-invent something that affects every single one of us, hate.
I believe hatred is something that we invented in our mind. If I could un-do, remove that one thing from the hearts and minds of every individual, wouldn’t the world be a beautiful place? Yes, I would be so proud to be coined with un-inventing hatred so that every heart could know love and recognize peace. I would un-invent hateful thoughts and actions and hate would be no more. No more wars, no more beheadings, no more senseless fighting over things that don’t matter. Oh, if only I really could.
So my mom does this little thing that made me think about something today. Sometimes when we are having a conversation about something she doesn’t want to hear or I have an opinion completely different than hers, she will say “Goodbye Kim” and hang up the phone. I noticed also when I blog about something that people have strong opinions toward I will often lose a follower or two. It doesn’t happen often but it does happen. It makes we wonder why we cannot tolerate listening to opinions that are different from our own. I will say this. My opinion is not the word of God. It is neither right nor wrong. In fact, it isn’t really even that important. It is just the way I feel about a particular situation. If it stirs emotion in you the reader, than somewhere it strikes a cord with you personally. My opinion is only offensive if you allow it to be. My opinion and words can only inspire you if you choose to allow them to. Otherwise, I am just a simple girl writing down some feelings and words.
It’s okay to disagree, really it is. But to personally attack someone who feels differently than you takes things to a whole new level. I am open to others opinions. I will respectfully listen and I will respond. I will not however stoop to the point that I disrespect a person over a silly disagreement over something at the end of the day that really doesn’t personally affect or concern me. People need to find a way to be more open to communication. We have fallen victim to arguing and insulting and somewhere along the way, respect for each individual has been lost. Respecting someone does not mean you sacrifice who or what you believe for the sake of giving someone else what he or she wants. Respect, at least to me, does not involve one side ending in a win or defeat. Respect is agreeing to disagree or not expecting someone to sacrifice their beliefs for yours. Respect is not always getting your way and being okay with that. Respect is sometimes walking away from an argument or a fight and sometimes just choosing to remain quiet. Respect is never offending another human being or assuming your needs and wants trump anyone else’s . We are a selfish society and we all feel entitled to life exactly the way we feel it should be. There are way too many people for that to ever result in anyone ever being truly satisfied. It’s a tug if war. Pull a little and give some slack. We can’t pull and pull and pull or we will become so tired that we will just crash. Don’t make things personal, especially when it comes to a silly opinion. Stopping following someone because of one post where your beliefs strongly disagree says quite a bit about our society today. We only want to surround ourselves with people who believe the same and want the same and maybe even act the same. Who are we to play God and to judge and pick and choose the parts we see in other people. They are made up of so many layers on so many levels and because you may support something that I don’t should not separate us. It should simply be noted that you support something I don’t. It shouldn’t define us or our relationships but sadly, we are not yet bigger than our own stifling skin. Maybe someday we will truly learn to love, appreciate and respect our differences as much as we do what makes us the same. Maybe. Maybe not.
Revenge. Retaliation, vengeance. These words actually make me cringe. I am fortunate enough to not buy into the fantasy that hides behind these words. I am not these things. I know that when someone harms me or vindictively hurts me, there is nothing I could ever do to them that would take away my own pain. Why on earth would I want to bring that same awful pain to another person regardless of what I believe they may have done. Why can’t everyone ask these two very simple questions before they act. The first is this. What will the consequence be of my actions? The second is this, how will my actions benefit me? Maybe one should even consider this. What degree of pain inflicted will ever be enough? Will you ever be satisfied to move on and let it go? How much do you need to inflict on someone before you are satisfied that he or she got what you believe they deserve?
I can’t help but believe that there are many out there living among us who are mentally unstable. We are all born the same way. We come into this world equal and innocent and loving. As we grow, we choose our path. We can never let that path choose us. Do people not recognize the darkness or do they care too little and look the other way. Can vengeance and retaliation really leave someone feeling good and refreshed day after day. I will never believe this is how we are meant to be. I am not trying to judge but rather understand how we can go from that little life filled with so much hope to a vindictive ticking time bomb of destruction waiting to destroy everyone in our path?
I know this is my second post about this but I need to find an avenue to let it go. If I keep it inside of me and let it take over I will turn angry and hateful and I will never let myself go to that cold, dark place. You have to communicate. You have to find a way to release all that gets pent up inside or eventually you will become the very things you once abhorred. Do not let what you see and hear change who you are. The answers are there beneath your thoughts and emotions and beliefs. Your heart will always be a better guide. If it doesn’t feel good, it probably isn’t.
Today I wish everyone peace in their heart. It must be terrible to live in a place where violence and retaliation become your only option. Heal thy self. Do whatever it takes to get yourself to a better place that will not only benefit you but also everyone else whose life you touch. Be accountable. You know what you do. There’s always a choice.
I am a sensitive soul. I don’t feel good around conflict and violence actually makes me feel sick inside. I am heartbroken over what I see around me. Yes, I know there is good in the world, there are random acts of kindness and goodness that move me beyond words but there is also a darkness. People are cold hearted. They are cruel and hurtful and worst of all hateful. They can destroy people with their words and actions and never even feel a ping of remorse. It starts in subtle ways, the disrespect and damage we do to others and before we know it we have someone beheading another on the internet for everyone to see. How does one become so cold and cruel. How does one validate their feelings enough to destroy others around them. The pain in my heart when I witness such acts is more than I can bear. There is no excuse to mistreat anyone ever, not one reason good enough to destroy or demean another human being. And the fact that some grow cold enough to take the life of another is something I will never understand. Violence is bad. It is like a wildfire that spreads from person to person. Behavior that should be appalling is now becoming part of everyday life. Take a look at yourself. Find a way to open your heart and treat others with kindness and respect. We are all human beings and each and every one of us deserves the respect of those around us. If your heart has grown hateful and hard remember we are teaching those same behaviors to the people who are watching. I cannot imagine being a mother or a friend of someone who is publicly beheaded for the world to see. How can someone’s anger and emotion and hatred become so great that he not only destroys one life but damages all the lives connected to that person as well. This has got to stop. People have got to get a handle on acting out. This need for revenge is a sickness beyond repair. Who do we think we are as a people that we think we have the right to make someone pay for our own demons who rule our minds? There are no words for this lack of humanity. There is a saying that goes ” I see humans but no humanity”. Don’t be part of that movement. You have to be stronger and better than your lack of self control and your impulse to act out in anger. My perfect world is a world of peace and respect. A place where violence does not live freely among people who know the difference from right and wrong. We do not have the right to strike out against others. It says much less about the victim and much about the perpetrator. Innocent people get hurt everyday, their lives destroyed one disrespectful word and action at a time. I hope I can get the image of that video out of my head. I am truly sick. Remember, that type of behavior does not happen over night. It builds one day at a time until we are so out of control it becomes second nature to take the life of another. I pray for people to be influenced more by their hearts and compassion and less by anger and hatred.
I’ve noticed lately that people like to join a fight. If there are two people in a room, they will argue a point, if theres a major case in court they become part of the cause, teens on Facebook jump in to compliment a friend or join others in shooting down someones personal views. What is it about other people’s business that makes us feel we should turn it into something personal? Why do we turn others stories into our own? Are we so full of ourselves and so sure of our own feelings that taking things on like it’s our personal responsibility has become our purpose. Try this one on for size, take this personally. It is our job and our personal responsibility to spread peace and love. We all have a role in making this world a safe and pleasant one. Do we do this by encouraging anger and “fight” in others? At the end of the day, when we lie in bed and retrace our steps of the moments of our day, did we really do people and the world justice? Or did we start another fight or keep an old one going? I say drop out of the fight, wave your white flag and join the peace march. It feels great once you do. Let people battle their own circumstances. It’s one thing to be supportive and another thing to pick a side as if you are part of the situation. If joining sides means creating anger, violence, and hatred does it really feel like the right thing to do? Spread love for all people of every race, every culture, and for people who live their lives very different from your own. People are not alike because they share a skin color, a common trait, or a similar lifestyle. Stop pretending they are and start to look a little closer and see that people are individually unique. We are all different despite how much you believe we’re alike. Think about this next time you join a cause or start a riot because you feel it affects you personally. Choose wisely. Will you become anger and hatred today or will you choose peace? Only you get to decide.