You Can Do It Too!

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You can change your life.

 I know because I did it.

 A year ago, I was in a very dark place. Depression had a death grip on me and I was having frequent anxiety attacks. I was so unsettled in my own skin but the hopelessness I felt was one I thought I would never escape. I was helpless and I reached out but there was no life raft waiting for me as I slipped deeper and deeper into despair. I tried depression medicine and meditation but it only got worse.

A year later I am feeling back to my normal self. I had to change my self talk which eventually led to a change in perspective about my current situation. If I couldn’t change the part I was stuck in then I had no other choice than to change myself and use my perception to gain my power back. My mantra was “the sky is not failing”. You are okay. It took months to convince myself that I would survive my situation. That I could live a happy life right alongside the mess I was in. I decided to lessen my reaction to things that once sent me straight to panic. Ah yes, the sky is not falling and this is only temporary. Patience with myself and gentle reminders turned into a new sense of peace and confidence. I removed myself from negativity and the past few months I have started walking every day. I am up to 35 miles a week and there are no words to express what this has done for me mentally. Most days I feel happy. Did you hear that? Me, happy! And rarely do I feel anxiety for more than a few hours and it doesn’t happen often at all.  

Was It easy? Nope. I had to give up my bullshit stories that kept my anxiety alive and thriving. I had to admit that my thinking was most of the problem and the only fix out there was my decision to fix myself. I share this story because I know the silent suffering and wanting someone to take just a little bit of my despair away so I could get through the day. I also share this to tell you that you can overcome this too. It takes patience and a great deal of self love. I hope my success story becomes your own and please know you are not alone. I am out here cheering for you and I know you can do it too. You’ve got this! I promise.

Nothing But Light

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I went to another concert last night. I was left with this image of the entire arena filled with individual lights. It was a beautiful sight. Sometimes I don’t see the light in others because I don’t want to look hard enough but last night all I saw was light. What an amazing  feeling. One that left me full of hope. What was your glimmer of hope today?

I Found Hope in Two Little Girls

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We expect so much out of life and the people around us. Today, be the unexpected. Be the smile, the kind voice, the helping hand that reaches out when no-one else does. Be kindness, offer motivation and be the reason someone feels a tiny sparkle of hope. You can change the world one small act of kindness at a time.

Before I pick my son up from school, I walk at the local YMCA. The track is located above the basketball courts where the after school program takes place. There are kids yelling and running and bouncing. To be honest, after coming directly from yoga, the noise and the movement really gets on my nerves. A week ago I walked into the restroom where two little girls insisted I go first. They were chatty and smiled at me through missing teeth. I smiled back half heartedly. Yesterday, they met me there again. They told me they watch for me so they can come and say hello. This time, I knelt down and I looked them both in the eyes. I am very happy to see you both today I said through a warm, inviting smile. See you tomorrow then?

It takes one person to warm your heart. One person to show a kindness you didn’t notice before. Look for the blessings. They are there waiting for you to notice. Those little girls made an enormous difference. I am so grateful for them.

Tell Me One Good Thing About Your Year

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I cannot believe the doom and gloom I am seeing as people turn their middle finger up to 2016. I have had some great years, some painful ones and so many more in between. The truth is, life for the most part is what we make of it. We can zoom in on all the bad or we can choose to focus on the things that were good. I have learned a few things over the last 45 years. Sometimes we are convinced that we’ve gone through a bad time or a horrible year and then we are shown what a bad year really is. There are so many blessings and wonderful opportunities all around us but sometimes our tunnel vision blocks our ability to notice. As 2016 ticks away, I will persistently focus on all the wonderful things I am truly grateful for. That is how I will exit this year and enter the new one. With a heart full of hope and gratitude, I will make this transition with all the positive energy I can. I have my health, my family and a home to keep me warm. I have people who love me. I was blessed enough to live another year. We are owed nothing and every single day is a gift. Sometimes when everything is not exactly the way we want it to be we allow ourselves to become a victim. Poor me. Not this girl. I have started to recite all the reasons why this has been a fantastic year. My focus is on the good. My focus is on hope. My focus is love. Happy New Year everyone! 

Are You There God?

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If there’s one question I’ve asked over and over lately it’s this one, 

Are you there God?

 My vision has been off the last couple of months. Where there was once light, there is now a darkness looming, casting a shadow over every thought and poisoning my mood. All that is left is a sense of dread and hopelessness as I watch the news roll out stories of moral destruction. My heart breaks as I watch people rip each other apart and try and destroy fellow human beings right down to their core.

My mom is in town for a visit and she mentioned to me about Revive Us 2016. It was a one night, live event playing in theatres meant to bring people together and lift them up. I was surprised when we walked inside and saw how full the theatre was. As I listened to the speakers, for the first time in as long as I can remember, I felt something nudge me deep inside. A place that had fallen asleep was passionately waking up. I felt a sense of connection with the others in that room that is hard to explain. We were a group of people with the same concerns and worries looking for some peace and hope. After the event was over, we formed a circle around the theatre and we joined hands in prayer. There was a young girl next to me who was sobbing and I could feel her pain. We all want to feel like we belong. We need to believe that there are others out there just like us longing for a sense of connection and a better way to coexist. We need to feel that sense of tribe that has somehow slipped away when we weren’t looking. I cannot put into words what happened in there tonight but my heart is full. Tonight, I am at peace. As I sat and listened to the various speakers, my heart slowly opened itself back up. God was there in that room, part of our circle, spreading His energy through the hands of the people. The message tonight was clear,

It does not have to be well with our circumstances to be right with our soul.

In these confusing times, we have to follow our own instincts and do what feels right.  We have to have the courage to stand up for what we believe. There is no need to explain ourselves or to be ashamed of who we are. I will not judge you and you will not judge me but together we will shine and spread our light. We have to find a way to come together. We have to bring back respect, compassion, truth and love and discard the things that tear us apart.