Am I Cray Cray?

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I admit my reaction is often over exaggerated and unnecessary. Can I help it? I have no idea. Why do I go straight to crazy? My daughters driving is like a first class ticket to freak out town. Lately though, she has been doing a much better job and as we backed out of our parking spot tonight, I thought to myself how nice it was to finally be able to relax when she is behind the wheel. I guess I forgot driving my big van is much different from her little Ford Focus. Next thing I know the car is rocking to the left and then to the right and the scraping sound was like my cats nails on my wooden dining room chair. I cannot tell you what I was repeatedly screaming as she continued to apply pressure to the gas peddle with no intention of stopping. Just for the record, I was not praying. In the meantime, I drop the phone from my ear right in the middle of my conversation with, of all people, MY MOTHER who has the terrible misfortune of hearing the entire fiasco play out real time. Did I mention my mother is supposed to stay calm so her blood pressure does not get too high? 

After we survive what I think is a curb, a really big, oversized curb, I pick the phone back up and start laughing uncontrollably.. It was hysterical after the fact and I continued to laugh all the way home. How could I possibly be angry with my daughter when just yesterday I backed my van into the garage door? I have really tapped into my sense of humor and have come to realize laughing something off feels so much better than feeling angry or upset. I hope no one is watching me write this because I am having repeated bouts of hysterical laughing now just trying to get through writing this. It must appear that I have gone mad. I actually think I have.

Do You Wonder If You Suffer From OCD? Take This Quiz To Find Out.

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  1. Does it bother you if someone washes the dishes but leaves them scattered on the counter to dry? 
  2. Do you have to vacuum the room a certain way so the lines in the carpet look just right?
  3. Can you leave crumbs on the table or does your urge to wipe off them off cause you to break into a sweat?
  4. Does clutter make you feel crazy inside?
  5. If someone folds the towels a different way than you do, do you feel like you have to re-fold them before you put them away?
  6. Do you secretly want to neaten up the magazines that are scattered all over the doctors office?
  7. If there is a tiny piece of cat litter on the floor, can you leave it there or do you have to pick it up? 

If you answered yes to any of these questions and you know you have OCD, don’t tell me because I have it too!

A Million Questions

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When you have a 13 year old who has ADD and who asks a million questions all in 5 minutes, you realize how little you actually know. I’m sorry, I don’t know where snot comes from. I have no idea why there is a pillow in the doctors office or why the saw cuts only the cast and not the arm. I don’t know what I would do if I could freeze time because I can’t freeze time. But no, I wouldn’t steal and yes, I probably would save someone from a burning car. I’m sorry I don’t know where the tissues are or if your cast is coming off or when you will get a smaller one on. I have no idea why the ambulance came to your school today or why you sound so weird when your nose is all clogged up. I can’t tell you why one nostril is more clogged up than the other. Now, any more questions?

Please Don’t Ban The Minions Too!

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Ban religion, ban the flag but please don’t ban our McDonalds minion toys. From the  moment I got out of bed today, I have been laughing uncomtrollably. My husband called and told me to check out the latest news and all I could think was, really? Now what? See, with the latest trend being banning, I have taken it upon myself to ban the news. However, I was pleasantly surprised that there was finally breaking news to make me smile, well laugh I guess.

Apparently parents are upset by what sounds like an inappropriate phrase spoken by the innocent minion wearing orange pants. Maybe it’s innocent, maybe planned but hearing the minion say what sounds like “wtf” is pretty darn funny. I put it to the test myself. I had my 13 year old son listen to the phrase over and over and he honestly had no idea what this hysterical yellow (I don’t know what) was saying. In fact he got pretty frustrated that he couldn’t figure it out. When I told him what they were alleging he was saying, he cracked up. So, I say if you’re not looking for those words specifically, you probably wouldn’t notice them but if a young child does pick it up, my question is where did he hear that phrase in the first place? The double edge sword for parents is by bringing it to the attention of the media, DUH! It will certainly get more attention. 

Are they really naughty of just wondering what really is going on with humans today? Anyway, least be honest, aren’t we all a little naughty?

Am I going from McDonalds to find that adorable minion toy for myself? I’ll never tell!

Please leave our minions alone!

It’s The Little Things….

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Do you ever find that the qualities you admire most in someone are the same qualities that drive you crazy over time? One thing I love about my son is he is consistent and predictable. He never does anything so outlandish that it catches me by surprise. Sounds like a wonderful attribute, don’t you think?

I have blogged before about his journey with ADD. The whole squirrel joke although offensive to many, holds some truth. Sometimes the ADD meshes with the consistency of his actions and character and we are left with this.

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Every single day, after Chase leaves for school I find a pair of socks. They could be on a table or the dryer or next to the refrigerator. Not one single day goes by that he doesn’t take a pair of socks out of his drawer, put them down, lose them and head up to his room to get another pair. And every single day, I put away the ones he leaves behind. What in the world happens between taking them out of a drawer and pulling them onto the feet? Seriously, I am thinking of coming up with a way to get rich that will help kids with ADD track their socks. He is so silly and I am making it a point to rethink the way I feel about the people in my life. I am actively trying to see past the things that drive me crazy and focus on the great quality that is the very foundation of the annoying behavior. It really works and I am feeling more positivity towards my husband and kids. Give it a try and find the humor in the small things that can either ruin your day or bring a smile to your face. Isn’t it great that YOU decide?

Spicy Meatballs

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Today I tried hot hour of power yoga. My teacher was like a manic energizer bunny on speed but no-one could leave saying we were not completely challenged. I actually dread to attempt climbing out of bed in the morning because the second I stepped out of the heat I was instantly tensing up like someone stuck me in a freezer or something.

I am here to tell you about the meatballs. I mean absolutely no disrespect with this term that I use to lovingly refer to the beefy men that take part in the class. By beefy I mean beefed up and all full of muscles. Yes, I know I am not supposed to focus on anything moving when I hold a pose, but if you could see these muscles…focus! Anyway, there are parts of the class that we are holding planks and doing push ups and I must admit those are the parts that I really struggle through. Most times I push back Into a child’s pose as punishment to remind myself my inner child is not fond of difficult work. But, I hold my pose quietly until we move on to the next thing.

If it’s one thing I’ve learned about the meatballs it’s that they are really strong. They attack what I choose to ignore and look quite good while doing it, but ask them to hold a stretching position and they start to be noisy meatballs. There is grunting and groaning and moaning and gasping. It’s insane. If I didn’t know better I would think I was in a room filled with woman giving birth. I can’t help but be totally amused by all of this and thank goodness my head is down when I hold a stretch because sometimes I can’t help but giggle. They push up like champions and cry like girls while sitting in a straddle trying to place their hands on the floor. I’m not judging really. I think it’s a hoot and besides, they are probably secretly trying to stop their mind from calling me a wuss when I skip out on a side plank. So, cheers to the meatballs in class that helped me smile through the pain. Maybe it’s time for you to try yoga, you might get a glimpse of some spicy meatballs.

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My Thoughts From the chair

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Today was the day I’ve been dreading all week. I am very sensitive when it comes to my teeth. I don’t like people pulling them, or scraping them or quite honestly even looking at them, but it had been six months and I was there in the chair. I tried to close my eyes and pretend I was on “some beach, somewhere”. I even sang that song over and over again in my head. But when I opened my eyes I could see the high school in the distance outside the window. That in turn reminded me of my teenager daughter who I adore but become easily agitated around which explains why, when I glanced up at the metal instrument with the small hook, I envisioned sticking it into her sassy little tongue. I grew a fondness for that little tool and passed several minutes fantasizing over so many ways I could put it to use. I could stick it in her tongue so she could no longer speak. And eye rolling? Imagine how quickly we could put an end to that little ailment. I could dangle that angry little eye on the end of the tool while laughing my evil laugh and taunting “can you roll at me now?”. I know you are sitting there thinking “she really shouldn’t have said that aloud” and just for the record I didn’t, I just foolishly wrote it down.

So, I was patiently waited for my cleaning to be over and soon it was. The dentist came in to take a look and although he shows up the same way every time, I am always amazed he doesn’t wear a mask. So there he was, leaning over me sticking his tools in my mouth while I am shutting my eyes tightly praying his nose does not decide to drip into it. Then he moves slightly and through my tightly closed eyes I see the light, but thankfully I do not follow it so I spare my forehead what could easily be a very red, large, rectangular mark to remind the world of my silly daydreaming. I then hear the words “See you in six months Kimberly” and jump out of the chair grateful I survived.

No teenagers were attacked during or after the writing of this blog. And just for the record, I am not a violent person I just have a violently active mind. And, believe it or not, when I forced, I mean encouraged my daughter to read it, she couldn’t stop the smile that came creeping across her face. Hopefully this didn’t offend anyone, I know my sense of humor is a bit rare!

F U Shots Here

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This is a funny little story about a funny little picture I had texted to my phone today. A friend of mine was driving past a Walgreens, maybe even the one that recently caused my suffering by screwing up my prescription. The picture was the kiosk in front of the store. It read F U shots here. Stop in to get yours today. Her message, I thought you could refer a few people here today. I am still laughing. Sometimes we could all use a text like that or someone to lift our spirits when the week we’ve been dragging ourselves through has been a difficult one. If you think about someone, let them know. It may be the very thing that makes the difference in their day.

The Best Kind of Therapy

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Just about anything can be fixed with a great big plate full of pork roast nachos! After a night of no sleep, a 40 minute phone conversation with a teacher and showing up at a restaurant to meet friends for lunch at the wrong time when I picked the time, I am finally seeing the humor in what any other day this week would have had me pouting and shaking my head. Maybe it was the fact that I squeaked an extra 30 minutes out of the parking meter after it had already expired, or maybe it was that a crazy school had the audacity to give my son an A in a class he never showed up for, but for whatever reason, today I find it enjoyably amusing. Imagine losing your kid for 4 weeks and then listing that class on a public record of a report card followed by the letter A. There is humor in life if we are open to it. Maybe I am just a bit silly today due to a lack of an adequate amount of sleep, or maybe, just maybe,it really was those pot roast nachos. This post has been brought to you by the letter A!

An Unexpected Fun Day!

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There are some moments that you think are really annoying until you look back at them in hindsight. We went to rent a costume for my daughters play in a few weeks. Although she struggled to find the perfect match, my son found more than his share. This boy is so fun and full of life and I just had to share some of our adventure…

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Hope you enjoyed our day as much as I did. There were several more entertaining get ups but I didn’t think to pull out the camera until we were almost done.