What Exactly Did You Mean By That?

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Do you examine conversations? Do you go back and ponder the words that are spoken to try and understand the deeper meaning of what someone is saying? Do you have too much time on your hands? Are you over thinking conversations that eventually damage your most precious relationships?

I know for me, words are just words. I certainly don’t try and say things I don’t mean but at the same time, my words are not the word of God. Sometimes I am making a joke or speaking to fill up the silence and my words shouldn’t be taken too seriously at all.

My point here is this, if you are so focused on someone’s words so you can determine what kind of person they are, cut it out. If we look hard enough for anything, the mind will eventually find it and people will simply stop wanting to be around you. No one wants to be questioned or challenged or feel like they have to explain themselves time and time again. 

Lighten up, words are just words. You give them meaning …….or not. Think about that one. Would you want someone over thinking and manipulating the meaning of your words? I don’t think so. Would you want someone throwing your own words back in your face? Oh no, I wouldn’t have guessed. Do you want someone wondering about you, what do you think she meant by that? Of course not. Don’t you do it either.

Lessons From A Drama Mom With A Teenage Daughter Queen!

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So, snow day today. Woohoo, yeah , awesome, high five! Now that we got that over with the real story is about to begin. Last night I had a long sit down with my 15 year old daughter. She is missing quite a bit of work in school and her chores have really been falling behind. See a pattern here? I do and as mom I DO NOT LIKE IT. Although it has become the norm for school policies to let these kids hand their work in with no consequence whenever is it convenient, and coaches seem to let kids skip practice or skip laps at their own convenience, it is creating a HUgE inconvenience at home. I know society has the very best intentions but the result is these kids do not do anything in a timely fashion. Before they know it, they have fallen so far behind and they are surrounded with a cloud of hopelessness they never seem to find a way to pull their head out of. Well, lucky for me I am a “stay on top of it” kind of gal so I don’t suffer from this epidemic of DGAD (don’t get anything done!)

Anyway, back to the story. I happened to wander into the laundry room this morning, and there, sitting on the washer was an overflowing basket of smelly teenage laundry. I patiently walked into the living room where my teen was on her 4th episode of Dance Moms and with my sweetest voice possible told my daughter the dreaded truth. “Kayleigh, the washer does not have magical powers.” She sat there a moment staring blankly at me and asked, “what do you mean?” So I continued to tell her that the clothes do not magically find themselves inside the washer and someone actually has to put them in. Her response, “well, I,thought if I brought them downstairs YOU do them.”

Aha, at last the problem had become obvious. I was successful in teaching her if her clothes sat in her closet they wouldn’t get washed, but she misinterpreted my next piece of information as bring them downstairs, they get washed. Seriously, I am telling this story because it is a vERY important one. I noticed that even dealing with teachers and adults, sometimes we think we are being very clear in what it is we are trying to convey, but the real meaning gets lost somewhere inside the interpretation. I am learning slowly, that sometimes we have to be specific to a ridiculous degree.
If we expect someone to do something, we have to make sure they understand what it is we are asking them to do.

I will leave you with this example. One day my husband decided to meet me at Starbucks on his way to work. He penciled me into his schedule and I was grateful. We left the house at the same time but I was sitting there for several minutes wondering where he could be. Finally the phone rang and I asked, “where are you?” His response, “sitting in Starbucks”. So there we were, sitting in two different Starbucks on two different sides of town. You think I could say lesson learned then but I am still making the same mistake today. By golly, I think I may have finally got it! Yay me!

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Some Things We Should Just Keep To Ourselves

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I was thinking today that sometimes we can see the same situation as someone else but interpret it an entirely different way. We often argue over who is right and who is wrong but how often do we actually question if maybe we were the ones who lost our way somewhere in between the seeing and interpreting. We just react. That is the population we’ve become. Often times, we do not consider the consequence of our reaction until is just too late. So, this is a friendly reminder to think more and react less. In the end, it may save us from some unnecessary embarrassment.

Here is an example of how silly we can make ourselves look. Today, I was rushing around trying to get the house cleaned up. I was blogging and calling my mother and checking Facebook, and well you get the idea. I wasn’t really paying attention to anything the way I should have been. So, I quickly went to use the restroom and as I sat down, to my horror, I fell right into the toilet. I immediately got angry and started cursing my husband when finally it occurred to me that he had been at work the entire day. AND GUESS WhAT? I had just finished cleaning the toilet. So, my nuclear reactor exploded prematurely and my mouth took over before my brain had a chance to jump in the way. Learn from me. Think before you speak and look before pee.

Now it’s your turn to share an example with me!

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