Which Day is Your Favorite?

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Do you have a favorite day of the week? I would have to say mine is Thursday. Today is the day I surround myself with a beautiful tribe of woman who inspire me and open my mind to things I never knew before. In a world where most people think they know it all, I choose a world where there are unlimited resources to always learn and grow. A closed mind does not allow for growth, only stagnation. Be open to learning something new today. At least give some consideration to something outside of your norm of thinking. Step out of your box.

Reflection

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As the end of another year rapidly approaches, I look back in reflection. There have been highlights and moments so low I don’t care to remember. Why do I go there then? Why do I make it a point every year to revisit the last 365 days of my life? For me, I guess it’s about perspective. Time has a way of doing that you know, sorting everything out in some type of order I can finally understand. Events that seemed larger than life seem insignificant now and some of the little things turned into my greatest teaching moments. There are times I cherish and moments I want to forget but every single moment led me here to who I am today. Some things made me bitter and many made me better and now it is time to bow to the ending year in gratitude and let it go. If a closet is full, there is no room for anything new. Life is like that too. It is healthy and necessary to create new space and we can only do that by loosening our grip on the things it is time to give away. Recycle, clean out your closet and rearrange it in a way that works for you today. Time is full of change and you have no choice to be part of that change too Flow with it. Let it move through. We cannot change the past. We cannot hold onto it and force it to stay in this moment. Learn from it, cherish it and let it grow you into someone ready and willing to allow life to fill you for another year. You are exactly where you are meant to be. Trust in that and enjoy the view.

How To Survive a Bad Day

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Yesterday was the kind of day you wish was over and today it is. There is so much relief and hope that comes with knowing you made it through a difficult day. Some days are just like that and you have to keep your chin up and display an immense amount of patience. So what if the garage door only goes up half way and you back into it right? Was it bad? Sure but what if it was closed all the way and you backed your car all the way through it? Seriously, I try and remember that as bad as something seems, there is always a worse case scenario. So, you must be grateful for the things that are good in your life and find peace and acceptance with the things that seem bad. It’s hard to see the silver lining in the clouds when the storm never seems to let up. Remember things are not always what the appear and when the clouds cast a dark shadow on your world, remember the sun is still there, you’ve just lost sight of it. Sometimes it takes one of those kind of days to really recognize and appreciate a good one. I’m hoping today is that day for everyone of us. Happy Friday!

Squirrel, pizza, dogs, text!

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Everyday, I discover something new about attention deficit disorder. Tonight, when I got the email regarding what would take place in school this week, as soon as I saw there were four tests in a three day period, I broke out in a sweat. Kids with ADD learn differently than other kids. Because of their lack of attention span, it is necessary to take breaks every 20 minutes or so. This is after 20 minutes of my son leaning back on his chair, petting the dog, getting up to get a drink, throwing down a piece of pizza and that’s just when he’s studying. Get the picture? It’s not like when you and I sit and give something 20 minutes of our undivided attention. It’s also necessary to study over a period of a few nights. One long night of studying never works. So how is this even possible when you have four major tests in four days? That is why I beg teachers to stay in contact with me and to let me know when tests may be coming up so we can get an early jump on the studying part. It devastates me to watch my son who is so bright struggle with time management the way he does. I sit here now as the tears well up in my eyes because of how much harder he has to work to get good grades and keep up with the work. He has very little free time and this week, he will have none. It’s also necessary for me to sit by him and help him study so he stays on task. Otherwise, he might very well sit with his paper in hand for two hours and not retain a thing. It really takes a toll on me and sucks up most of my time. I try not to let it get me down but sometimes, like tonight, it hits me pretty hard. We only have three days to prepare for two tests we just found out about tonight. I guarantee, when I sit down to see what he retains from class, the answer will be nothing. A test in biology and science in the same week is a real challenge. Somehow, it always works out this way. They seem to be the two classes where he learns absolutely nada in class and I know that’s true because of how much teaching it takes me one on one at home for him to finally get it. Sometimes I feel like screaming Why can’t you remember what we just went over? What will it take to make you learn? Can’t you just stop moving around? Will you ever grow out of this? But, somehow I find the strength to keep those thoughts to myself.

If you know a family with a child who has ADD, give them some support. You have no idea how difficult it can be at home. I’ve thought about making a documentary where someone could spend a week in our home when we have several tests taping what goes on so I could use it as a teaching tool to make teachers understand. They just don’t get it and they don’t even try. How do I know this? Because they won’t even stick to a 504, a plan that under the law, they are required to follow. Who’s going to make them? The government? That’s where I would have to file a complaint. Yeah, I bet you just laughed out loud. There’s  a major flaw in the system but isn’t that true for most things they stick their hands into? 

I needed to get this off my chest. If you or anyone you know has any tips for studying and retaining information in the most time effective manner for anyone with ADD, please share them with me. I am desperate and it’s so hard to do on my own.

How Do You React?

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I have discovered over the last few years that my reaction to what life throws at me shows  me the real truth about my character. It’s so easy to see how crazy other people can act yet sometimes it’s impossible to see it in myself. It took a long time to recognize what bothered me about others, especially how they reacted to and handled particular situations was exactly what I was embarrassed about in myself. I am an over reactor by nature. I grew up that way and for years I have focused on undoing the straight jump to panic mode and doom and gloom. Believe me, I’m not quite there yet but I am much calmer and more collected than I used to be. Thank goodness I guess because this came in very handy last night when I discovered my rabbit Puff was not a female. I do not have two female bunnies after all but rather the unfortunate circumstance of having one of each. What can I possibly do now anyway? It’s much too late to worry about that now. The ongoing Facebook joke is my rabbits are no longer Cocoa and Puff, they are now Cocoa and Puff Daddy. Very funny. The jokes on me .

Put Down The Darn Gloves

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I don’t want to fight.

Really, I don’t!

I’m finding communication to be quite challenging lately. Why is it when I have a question for someone, they raise their boxing gloves? As a parent, I feel I have the right to ask questions to anyone who comes in contact with either one of my children. The last time I asked a simple question about the teaching style of a particular class, the teacher attacked me and became very defensive. Why ARE people so defensive

Today, I got a call from the dental hygienist notifying me that Kayleigh missed her appointment. When I asked how she notified us of the appointment, her tone changed and the tackling began. In a very snotty tone she assured me that the reminder came to “this number”(my cellphone) and that someone confirmed the appointment. The truth is the text went to my husbands phone when I told the office a few months ago to make sure all appointment reminders come to me and only me.  As she was searching for an available time to reschedule the cleaning I decided to tell her about Chases teeth. He got his braces off two weeks ago and I was sick inside when he smiled at me for the first time. All I could see were two silver fillings in his top, front, two teeth. When I told her this, she went straight to irate telling me this could not have happened in that office because they wouldn’t put silver fillings in the front of someone’s mouth. She went on and on and on.  Was she insinuating that I was lying or that we went somewhere else to have work done and we were trying to pin it on their office? Shouldn’t she maybe have looked at his chart before lecturing me? I seriously couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Why does everything come down to confrontation? I just don’t get it. She was supposed to speak with the dentist and call me back but that was several hours ago. I’m almost to the point where I don’t want to interact with anyone. I can’t take anymore of it and I don’t want to be a whipping board for someone’s misplaced anger or insecurity.

I’m not sharing this to complain. I am hoping it will bring awareness to the way you speak to other people. Are you always ready for a fight? Do YOU feel attacked? Do you often take things personally more times than not? Is this only happening to me? 

Take a breath. Calm down and know everything can’t possibly be all about you. You’re just not that important. None of us are. Sometimes a question is simply a question.

Go Away Guilt

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Guilt is the enemy. If I wrote down the list of things I feel guilty about in a week, I could fill an entire book. What is guilt exactly and where does it stem from?

This is how Wikipedia defines guilt:

Guilt is a cognitive or an emotional experience that occurs when a person realizes or believes—accurately or not—that he or she has compromised his or her own standards of conduct or has violated a moral standard and bears significant responsibility for that violation. It is closely related to the concept of remorse.

Back to the where does it stem from part. Only I make the choice to decide if something I say or do is beneath the standards I set for myself. The enemy is not guilt, the enemy is me and I need to replace that re-occurring wasteful thought with a healthier, more inspirational one. It’s so important to practice kindness and compassion and it’s easy for me to do when it comes to others. Why then, am I so darn hard on myself? 

How about you? Do you feel guilt often? How do you handle those feelings when they come up?