Sometimes I have some pretty specific plans but life changes them. I am sitting here in my car that won’t start frustrated that I cannot do the things I need to do today. My niece has a birthday on Thursday and I brainlessly sent her gift to Oklahoma instead of Pennsylvania so the first thing on my list was mailing her package. The second was food shopping because I avoided the dreaded task all weekend and now I am left stranded with no dinner plan. I feel like this often…stuck and forced to deal with the situation that has been handed to me. They say you can learn a lot about yourself by the way you react to situations like this and I am not reacting at all. That is one thing about depression that sometimes comes in handy. You don’t really want to do the things you have to do anyway so when you can’t do them it’s almost bittersweet. Usually my husbands truck is here but that along with his car, is sitting in his parking lot at work so I’ll just sit here for now without the need to ponder what I will do next because there is nothing that I can do. Do you ever feel stuck? What do you do about it? How do you react?
Sometimes you don’t realize you’ve crossed a line until you’re on the other side and can’tgo back ~~Frank Warren
I’m starting to see the beauty and logic behind the infamous rock cycle. We can learn a great deal from those rocks and if we are lucky enough, learn to weather exactly the way they do. Life can sometimes be a process of breaking down and being stripped of our perception of who we are. Erosion comes in many forms. So many things can carry us away to a place that seems so far from where we want to be. Eventually we settle down. Our mind relaxes and through the timely process and stormy conditions, we begin again.When there is only the slightest remnant left of who we used to be, when we think our existence has shrunk to a level that doesn’t matter, the world conspires to make us a stronger, more confident version of who we used to be. There is no sense fighting what we cannot change. It is exhausting spending endless amounts of energy swimming upstream. So when we finally sit back and observe what is happening, that is when the transformation really takes place. That is when that voice that has been whispering “I can’t do this anymore” gets drown out by the voice that says, “yes you can, try again.” And that’s exactly what you decide to do. You go on and wait patiently as the cycle goes round and round. I believe we are given exactly what we need at the moment we need it most. We can find amazing strength inside that we never knew existed before. Time breaks us down and we rebuild and move on. We are constantly changing into who we need to be, secretly preparing for whatever comes next. Be like a rock-solid and strong yet forever changing.
Another great post from Dream Big Dream Often. Will you venture out and try something new?
Several years ago I remember having a conversation with a friend about food. What types of exotic foods we had eaten, which were our favorites and what we disliked. I recall my part of the conversation being short as it has only been in recent years that I have moved off of the southern delights of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, fried okra and corn; on the cob or off!
But what is so vivid in my memory for some reason is my friends challenge to me to step out and try new things. And it was out of that conversation that I realized that I loved broccoli. I had spent the majority of my adult life explaining to people when presented with the veggie that I didn’t like it. I can’t recall why I didn’t like broccoli nor why I had never tried it since I was a kid.
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Some long days turn into unbearably long weeks and still, it’s only Wednesday. I love that time after everyone goes to bed and there is nothing left to do for the rest of the night except to breathe. That tiny chunk of time when I close the blinds on the outside world and nothing and no-one can let it back in. We all need time to recharge and we have to get it whenever we can. This is my time. I hope you make that time for yourself too.
“The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt.” ~ Frederick Buechner
Do you think we have a choice whether or not we lose our patience or do you think it is more of a reaction that is out of our control?