I notice a pattern happening in my life. It’s as if I am presented with the same scenario year after year but involving different people and one common denominator. I am not inferring this has been going on for a year or two, it has been happening for close to 10 years. The situation is completely out of my control. The outcome however, is not. It seems that I repeat the same ending over and over and I can’t help but wonder if the only way to keep this from popping up again is to end the story differently this time. Is it possible that the universe could be pushing me to do an about face and do in my heart what I feel necessary to do? Is the answer sometimes marching confidently into war instead of always trying to wave the white flag to see if the end result can be arrived at peacefully? I am tired of standing at the same crossroad. It’s like deja vu year after year and I want to eliminate this nightmare once and for all. I can’t help but wonder if this is more than just coincidence. Will I have the confidence to get it right this time? Is there something specific that keeps showing up in your life?
Today is a clean slate. When we leave yesterday behind and we allow tomorrow to begin tomorrow, today offers so much hope. Today is whatever you want it to be. The question is, what do you want it to be?
My mantra for today: Today I will be still. I will allow the things I cannot change to flow through so they do not cling to me. I will make a choice to let them go and trust that everything is okay the way it is in this moment.
So, today was the first day of school. I admit I might have had a tear or two in my eye or maybe it was just the wind. Every year goes by faster and faster. I remember Chases first day in a new school. He was so tiny, probably one of the shortest boys in the whole grade. We had just moved here and he didn’t know a single soul. He was so brave. Me? Not so much.
Today, I looked out the window and was so proud. Usually I drive him to school but he wanted to ride the bus to help out the new kid that just moved down the street. He is even smaller than Chase at that age and when we saw him on back to school night, the poor boy was so scared, his eyes welled up with tears. “Don’t worry mom, I’ll have his back.” Sometimes I think trying to teach my kids to be selfless and kind is a lost cause. But today, he was full of kindness. And my daughter? She volunteered to help the new students find their classrooms and be a mentor. She wore her shirt proudly today with the words, you’ve got a friend in me” in bold print on her back. And, she takes those words seriously.
Maybe eventually they do learn from us. Maybe example really is enough. Maybe there really is hope they will grow into kind, responsible, young adults. Maybe, just maybe.