Traditional meditation has not been a friend to me lately. That monkey in my mind is putting up one heck of a fight. The more I focus on fighting back, the less able I am to throw a punch. Thoughts haunt me all the time. Remember that movie Groundhog Day? My life is just like that but in my head. It plays over and over until I get it right. I am like a dog chasing my own tail, going round and round and left feeling tired and dizzy. What if I would have said something else? What if I did this instead of that? Perfection is my addiction.
Tonight I grabbed that monkey by the tail and I took control. Want to know how?
Earbuds. Well and a little calming music.
I have been spending time in quiet solitude when I needed more noise. The right kind anyway. There are a handful of songs that touch me so deeply that I am too busy feeling to actually think. Is there a lesson to this? Absolutely. Try until you get it right. If something is not working in your life, stop trying that and do something else. Improvise until you find that something that will take care of the job. Every problem has a solution, you just have to be creative.