Sometimes I Forget

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Sometimes I forget what it’s like to feel happy in a room filled with smiling people. With so much conflict and protesting recently, a night out at an awesome concert felt really good. As I looked around at the genuine joy on people’s faces, my eyes filled up with tears. This is the way it’s supposed to be I thought to myself as I wiped away a tear with the cuff of my sleeve. I thanked God for that moment and that I was mindful enough to experience and enjoy it.  Sometimes I forget that we make life so much harder than it needs to be. We complicate the very relationships that are meant to be beautiful by destroying them with our ugliness. Sometimes I forget what peace feels like but last night I felt it. I remembered and I am grateful.

Wise Words

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You are a valuable instrument in the orchestration of your own world, and the overall harmony of the universe. Always be in command of your music. Only you can control and shape its tone. If life throws you a few bad notes or vibrations, don’t let them interrupt or alter your song. ~~Suzy Kassem

The Beauty of In Between

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I can’t really remember the last time I didn’t have kids. It feels like I’ve been a mom most of my life even though that is far from the truth. Somewhere along with giving birth, I gave up who I used to be. I played into the lie that I had to act a certain way and live a certain lifestyle because there were little people watching. I was so focused on them that I lost being myself. Slowly, I am starting to remember. Tonight I am going to see Def Leppard for the first time. As I listen to their music today, I am sixteen again, sitting around a bonfire with all my friends. I am happy and smiling and free from the responsibility that weighs me down as the years of my life go flying by. I am that carefree teen again, on top of the world, living in eack moment as it spontaneously arrives. Music was and still is such a big part of my life. It helps me identify with my my own feelings and speaks to my heart in a way that nothing else can. Music holds the key to so many memories and the more I listen, the more they come rushing back. I forgot some of them, at least for awhile. I thought I had to give up that part of myself to be the person I am today. That is so untrue. So today, and again tonight when I am standing in that hot arena listening to one of my favorite groups from my teenage years, I will reunite with that part of me I left behind and for at least that moment in time, we will become one. 

Don’t sacrifice who you are. Don’t be who you think the world expects you to be. You can be a wife, a mom and still rock out. You can be the person you are today and the person you were all those years ago. That is your true self, when you remember what ignites the passion of who you were and who you are and when you finally reach a point to stand in between. The view is beautiful from there and so complete. I hope you will join me and reunite with who you really are, free of fear from what anyone else thinks.

Music, The Universal Language

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I was riding in the car the other day when I asked my son if he knew who was singing the song on the radio. I’ll give you a hint. The song was Blue Christmas and the voice is a legend. Guess it yet? I explained to him that everyone should know the voice of Elvis. Music is amazing in that it brings all kinds of people together. What a beautiful gift, don’t you think? We teach history year after year and if you ask me I say why bother? Sometimes when we pass the past down through generations, we remain stuck there and I am a big supporter of living in the here and now. Music is timeless. It spans over lifetimes and reaches people in a way most things can’t. It joins us all together and never divides. There is nothing more beautiful than people of all nationalities and color raising there voices together in song. So yes, maybe a little less history and a lot more music is the answer. What do you think?

Wake Me Up

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I hula hoop to the song Wake Me Up. It has a fun beat and it’s a catchy tune but I never really listened to the words. However, to help pass the time as the hoop goes round and round, I focused on the meaning of this incredible song. One particular part really grabbed my ear. The line goes something like this:

I tried carrying the weight of the world
But I only have two hands
I hope I get the chance to travel the world
And I don’t have any plans

Oh the power and knowledge in those few little lines. It takes a lot of heartbreak and years of wasted time to realize we are not strong enough to carry the world. It’s heavy and it weighs us down until we become stuck in a place of worry. I say put it down. You can’t worry about every person and every problem. The fact is, that we will never have control over anyone else. There is no amount of worry that will ever change another soul. The only person you have the control to change is yourself. Lighten your load. Put all your time and effort into changing you. It may seem hard but surround yourself with people that make you feel good. Go for a walk and notice the beauty of nature. Get up early and watch the sunrise.

When you start to smile on the inside I promise people will magically react to you in a whole different way. Find a way to smile in your heart. Just like the song says, you will never travel the world if you don’t make any plans. You will never change your life if you don’t actively try to make it different. Same choices leave you in the same places. Choose something different for yourself. You deserve it. Let everyone else worry about themselves. You cannot change the world, you can only change your world. Stop wasting time because this moment is all we have. It will never be here again. Put on your invisible cape and save yourself. I believe you can fly, but that’s another song.

When The Music Speaks

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I have been carrying a pretty large load of angry around with me over the last few weeks. I realized that I am projecting that anger out onto others who have no other choice than to be there around me. As I was driving in the car today there were a group of songs that came on, one after the other. It sounded like a playlist I already have on my ipad. I wanted to cry. The music, the words and the feeling all came rushing at me fast enough to completely catch me off guard. My pain was there in the passenger seat riding there beside me. It has become my traveling companion and no matter how quickly I jump in the car and hit the gas pedal, I can’t escape it. It is part of me whether I give it my attention or not. Ignoring it and denying it will not release me from the consequences of the two of us being chained together. We are one like it or not. I realized it is my pain masquerading around as anger that shields the people around me from who I really am and what I am carrying around inside. I think my daughter is a lot like I am. When she needs love, she pushes people away. When she wants attention, she negatively acts out. I think that wounded child forever lives inside of us. And if we don’t hug and love the little me, she forgets she is a grown adult and acts out like a teenage child. The lessons we need to know will come to us when the time is right. Today has been one of those “just right” days. When the music speaks, the heart listens. It sneaks in quietly far beneath the depths that spoken words could ever reach. Music helps us heal and music helps us feel. Sometimes we have to put on some earphones and go through that playlist song after song until we feel the peace and the strength in the lyrics. And the times we feel weak we should sing with all our heart until the lyrics turn into words and we are whole again.

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Time Travel

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Last night I traveled back in time. No, I am not some genius that has finally invented a time machine. My time travel involves something more simple…music! I watched Rock of Ages last night and couldn’t stop myself from jumping up and throwing a fist or two to the beat of the music. I can only imagine how crazy I may have appeared to my neighbors if they caught a glimpse of my crazy hair flying back and forth violently like I was possessed or something as I showed my daughter what we used our hair for back in the day. I’d even like to tell you I didn’t attempt swinging around my bed post in unison with the pole dancing scenes, but I just couldn’t help myself. My husband stared awkwardly at me, eyes wide open and not the way I envision he would gawk at some hot girl that danced on a pole for a living. My daughter however was completely amused. I may even have gotten a fist up pump or two while she matched me word for word in almost every song. Who knew Glee was singing all the old cool songs from the 80’s. I was amazed she knew the music so well. I
love that music from a certain era can take me back to a time that was so fun all those years ago and for at least a moment or two, can actually make me feel like I am that energetic teen I once used to be. The movie itself was absolutely awful, but the music was fantastic! Lucky for me, as soon as it ended, HBO played it again! Music from the 80s was fun. I’m looking forward to downloading some of my old favorites soon. What an great pick me up on a day I really needed one.