I cannot believe the doom and gloom I am seeing as people turn their middle finger up to 2016. I have had some great years, some painful ones and so many more in between. The truth is, life for the most part is what we make of it. We can zoom in on all the bad or we can choose to focus on the things that were good. I have learned a few things over the last 45 years. Sometimes we are convinced that we’ve gone through a bad time or a horrible year and then we are shown what a bad year really is. There are so many blessings and wonderful opportunities all around us but sometimes our tunnel vision blocks our ability to notice. As 2016 ticks away, I will persistently focus on all the wonderful things I am truly grateful for. That is how I will exit this year and enter the new one. With a heart full of hope and gratitude, I will make this transition with all the positive energy I can. I have my health, my family and a home to keep me warm. I have people who love me. I was blessed enough to live another year. We are owed nothing and every single day is a gift. Sometimes when everything is not exactly the way we want it to be we allow ourselves to become a victim. Poor me. Not this girl. I have started to recite all the reasons why this has been a fantastic year. My focus is on the good. My focus is on hope. My focus is love. Happy New Year everyone!
I read somewhere that it is necessary to leave something behind in 2016 to make room for something new. I could spend hours making lists of useless things I would rather not carry into the new year but if I could only pick one, my answer would be simple. Expectations.
I fall for it everytime. I get this idea of how something is going to be. I fantasize about the perfect details as the smile spreads bigger across my face. Then reality comes along and slaps it right off of me. Christmas was a good example. I wait all year to finally go home and spend some quality time with my family. I am the only one living far away and I miss out on so many things that I often regret. This year I was excited for weeks in anticipation of what the holidays would bring. Two days after finally arriving, I collapsed. Not once but twice. I was so sick that I actually passed out at a rest area in between my brothers home and my moms. I don’t even remember it happening the second time. I remember waking up and hearing my son on the phone with 911 as I insisted I was okay. It was awful. I was staggering and slurring my words and just wanting to go to my childhood home and lay on the couch. Resting took up the whole next day. I was frustrated because I know it’s impossible to get even a second back. This was precious time wasted on feeling crappy on a couch instead of visiting with people I wait all year to see. Christmas finally came along and I still wasn’t feeling so great. I got through the day but was feeling quite exhausted. We all slept at my moms that night and then it hit. 8 out of 10 of us were stricken with a stomach virus in the middle of the night. At the same time, all four at my brothers house in addition to my sister were going through the same motions at their own houses. The fun was over. Everyone slept for 24 hours straight. I prayed all night that I would be spared. My body was already feeling so weak and my wish was granted. Out of 16 of us, only two of us escaped this nasty virus. Thank goodness I was one of them and able to take care of the ones who were in the same house.
Christmas was so far from what I expected it to be. Expectations are garbage and they set me up for disappointment every single time. In 2017, I am going to try and just let it be, whatever it is. I still enjoyed my visit, it just didn’t come close to what I had planned. So, no more plans. No more regrets. No more I wish things were different. I need to embrace what is and make the most out of whatever circumstances I am given. Goodbye expectations. I won’t be taking you with me next year. What will you be leaving behind?
I read a post recently. I can’t remember exactly when or who it was by but the theme really touched me in a way I hadn’t expected. Like I mentioned in my earlier post, every year I choose a word to set an intention for the next 365 days. I wanted to pick something special and profound that would affect me in every way. This post revolved around the word soften. Soften, yes, that’s my word. This year I hope to soften my voice to show more respect, love and compassion. I hope to soften my heart to understand, forgive and love to my full potential. I hope to soften my shoulders, to let go of stress and anxiety and to revel in calm that comes more naturally and continuously. I hope to soften my face, my expressions, my eyes so that I can look at everyone more lovingly instead of with exasperation. I hope to soften my mind and my thoughts to replace the worried, anxious ones with reassuring, confident ones. I hope to soften my expectations of everyone around me including myself. Soften, yes that is the one. May my journey to soften contribute to softening the world a little more every day.
Happy New Year to so many of you who have offered me support, comfort, and peace of mind when I’ve needed it most. May this new year bring you peace and happiness and the awareness to know the difference each and everyone of you make. Let’s make 2016 our best year yet!
We went out for dinner last night and my husband asked if I had chosen my word. Every year on New Years Eve, I set an intention for the upcoming year. It’s not something I take lightly. I truly believe that when you send energy out into the universe, it comes back. So what could I possibly choose? Out of all the words that currently exist, which is the right one for me? I still haven’t found one that resonates completely so I will meditate on it later today. Think about it. If you could pick one word that would define your entire 2016, what would you want it to be? Give it a try!
A year ago today, I was stuck on the side of the road with a flat tire. We were headed to a concert and pulled into Starbucks for a quick cup of coffee, when we looked down and noticed the flat. My thoughts immediately jumped straight to doom and gloom. I thought great, is this how we are going to stat this new year? Is this a sign of the the things to come?
It didn’t take long for my husband to put the donut on and we were on our way. It wasn’t a sign at all. In fact, it wasn’t a big deal at all. Pay attention to what really matters and don’t make a bigger deal out of the things that don’t. Just accept things as they come with as little judgement as possible and keep moving on. Don’t remain stuck with a tire that is no longer flat. Happy New Year.
I actually winced as I typed the title of this post. When I look around me, it becomes perfectly clear that many people have lost their happy. They are so consumed with grief, resentment, guilt, depression…so much so that they no longer ever feel happy. Imagine if every time you sat in the drivers seat you had no destination. You strapped on your seatbelt, pushed the gas pedal and wandered around never reaching a destination. Many of us do just that, we wander. We forget that if we want to reach a specific destination, we must put the address into the Garmin. I hope you all join me as I type Happy into mine. That is where my journey this new year will take me. As we enter an exciting new year, set an intention, know where you want to go and set your mind on the journey to get there. Don’t spend another year wandering aimlessly around, looking back and discovering you are in the same place as the year before. Do the work, make the changes and I promise at the end of the year you will find yourself in a different and better place.
My intention is this;
In 2015, I will focus on the things that are really important. I will look for the God and the good in every person. I will judge less and love more. I will shrug off the actions and words of people trying to hurt me and I will say a special prayer for them as I lay down to sleep at night. I will be the peace this world so desperately needs and I will care for my own soul as if it were a fragile piece of glass. I will find a reason to be happy every single day and I will make an effort to linger in the moments and stop rushing into the next thing my mind tells me I have to do. This will be one of my greatest years and I am excited to get it started.
I’d love to hear your intention!