We have become a society that can make a big deal over anything and at the same time pay little attention to the things that really matter.
I have learned to ask myself a few important questions before I engage in becoming part of the craziness.
1) Do I really care about this?
2) Is this really a big deal?
3) How will this affect my life a week, a year, 10 years from now?
4) Is this even worth giving any thought?
Don’t get caught up in other people’s need to debate every single thing. People disagree because they can and they throw around opinions as if they even matter. I often remind myself, my opinion is just one of many and at the end of the day it doesn’t mean a thing.
Perhaps we should place more merit on someone’s actions rather than our interpretation of their words when we take on the position to actively define them. Actions seem like they should speak louder than words but do they and are we even capable of looking at someone’s actions or words without bias once we’ve already formed an opinion about them?
I am sometimes cold and harsh in the manner in which I speak. I wince to think how I might come off to someone who would never be able to really know my heart or the depth and kindness and gentle loving intention of my thought and soul. My tone, although I am aware and working on it continuously, has remained a challenge I find difficult to master. I grew up in New Jersey and live in Oklahoma. There is no question that the way people talk a long with distinctive mannerisms are quite different depending on where you are from. People are not always who they appear to be and I can almost guarantee they are never who we think they are. There is always more than meets the eye and the eye is limited in so many ways.
Imagine how different our relationships would be if we kept more opinions to ourselves, judged a little less, listened without intent and loved without conditions. What holds more value to you personally? Actions or words?
In a time where so many of us see the world differently, how can you be sure your version is right? Why are you so positive that you are the one thinking logically and others are not thinking clearly? Have you even ever asked yourself this question? We only know what we are open to hearing information about but are most of us truly open to hearing information that contradicts our personal opinion? I watch people swear with absolute assertion that something is matter of fact even when half the population sees the same situation in an opposite manner. Could it be that half of us are right and the other half are just plain crazy? We really need to start thinking about this. Or could it be that we only focus on the so called people and facts that feed our narrative so we never see the complete picture at all? Something to think about.
It’s really a test for me when the first thing that shows up in the morning is confrontation and bad energy. I’ve come to that place in life where I have no interest in that anymore. There are very few people worth salvaging my inner peace for and I’ve been removing the ones I can a little more each day. It’s not that I can’t be friends with people who feel different than I do, I am simply not in the game of proving who is better, smarter or has more value. To have to spend comment after comment, tit for tat over complete nonsense is not how I want to spend my time and energy. If we disagree, we disagree. Game over. Move on. So what. Big deal. Friends accept a difference in opinion and they know when their friendship is worth more and they simply move on. Why the constant bickering? Are we more obsessed with being right than we are with being kind? I’m afraid so.
Have you ever considered that the people you are judging are not the problem but maybe it’s your perception of them that is the real problem? Sometimes we create a narrative in our head about someone or a group of people that we convince ourselves is the word of God. Do you think if you had a conversation with those people that they would agree with your analysis of who they are and what they actually believe compared to what you believe to be true about them? There is way too much assuming going on, generalizations that are destroying relationships and further dividing people into boxes they don’t come close to fitting into. I am actually surprised by the people actively engaging in this every single day. Are we so pompous to believe that we know what is in someone else’s heart and that we have the right to look down on them because our ego allows us to believe they are below us by our own selfish standards? It’s easy to twist some aspects of a situation to validate our own viewpoint. So I ask you to answer one, simple question:
Have you ever been wrong about someone?
Maybe the healing can start there. Maybe real growth begins with acknowledging the fact that maybe, just maybe it’s the way we see something that is what is really wrong. Are you brave and real enough to be honest? Looking forward to the comments.
We are all experts when it comes to opinions.
In a sea of opinions, use your voice for something good. Spread hope, peace and positivity. Be honest but tactful, open yet reserved. Do not give every thought a voice. Spend time around people who think different than you and really listen to what they have to say. Listen to understand and learn,not to respond and judge. There is no right or wrong, just different. Different people, different wants, different ideas and that’s okay. We are not robots. We are not programmed to think and act alike. Respect someone’s differences and if you want to make assumptions, assume you know nothing about anyone else. How could you? You don’t walk in their shoes, pay their bills, stay up late and night and face their demons in the dark. You do not know. Stop telling yourself you do and please stop passing judgements. You are not God. None of us are. We are simply a group of people sharing the earth for a limited amount of time. Make it count. Our stories, though different, will all end the same. Stop wasting precious time on things you convince yourself matter but really don’t. The clock is ticking and we don’t get a single second back.