Scratch Your Mad Spot

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If you haven’t read A Return To Love, I highly suggest you buy a copy. I have a distant memory of my aunt from when I was just a child. All the cousins used to get together and sometimes we would get on each other’s nerves. I remember when things started to heat up she would ask, “Are you mad?” When we would reply “yes”, she would suggest we scratch our mad spot. What in the world did that mean? Where the heck is my mad spot? I have no idea why that stuck with me but as I read the pages of that book today, things started to make sense. I have been pretty mad lately. That’s a fact. I’ve been mad at my daughter, my mother, my husband and anyone else that was willing to step in my line of attack. Being mad attracts more of being mad. I just couldn’t seem to shake the mad. I would be annoyed at something that happened in the morning with my daughter and when I would pick her up at 5:30, the mere sight of her would fire up the mad. What in the world was going on inside me? I didn’t want to feel mad. That never seems to do anyone any good. Just like magic, I opened the book and read these words from A Course in Miracles. Read them slowly and pay close attention. The lesson in these words offers a solution to being swallowed up by our irrational emotions.

“Forgiveness is the choice to see people as they are now. When we are angry at people, we are angry because of something they said or did before this moment. But what people said or did is not who they are. Relationships are reborn as we let go perceptions of our brother’s past. ‘By bringing the past into the present, we create a future just like the past.’ By letting the past go, we make room for miracles.”

Excerpt From: Williamson, Marianne. “A Return to Love.” HarperCollins.

How silly I was dragging the morning aggravation into my evening. How unfair of me to treat my daughter as if we had just left each other a moment ago. How crazy that I would choose to stay in a moment that didn’t feel good and waste the present moment by bringing in the past.. The very moment I wanted to escape was brought into every moment after by yes, you guessed it, me! Not the smartest thing I’ve ever done and nothing to brag about either. But, I was starting to understand that the person I was really mad at was myself for seeing people as the crime I condemned them for. People are more than their words or a bad day. People make mistakes and do things that are not nice but I should know better. I write about this kind of thing all the time. Now that I know better, I need to be better. That will be the real test. Applying what I have learned choosing new, healthier behaviors. No more grudges. Leave the past behind. See each moment as a new moment to unfold the way it will without dragging the past into spoil it.

I think I figured it out. The way I see it is we have a choice. We can choose to be mad or we can choose to love. When we scratch our mad spot it hurts. It is a clear reminder that holding onto anger hurts everyone involved so simply scratch it and move on. There is so much power in knowing we have a choice. Sometimes we just forget and a line from a book can put us back in a more loving place. I thought it was an important lesson to share. It sure meant a lot to me.