Plans Change

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Last night as I was falling asleep, I made a vow to conquer the world today. Unfortunately the weather is much too cold so I will have to postpone until a warmer day. Do something amazing today even if that means just staying warm.

The Lesson At My Door

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A knock came on my door yesterday. I wasn’t expecting anyone and when I asked

 “who is it?”, 

I cringed as the voice on the other side said,

“It’s me. A life lesson.”

I am really starting to believe that we bump into the same lesson over and over again until we finally master our response to it. There are days I mutter to myself, “really again, why me”, but there is a part of me that is certain the answer is always the same. My reaction to things out of my control is not a very healthy one. The physical response alone is quite disturbing and the thoughts that dance closely behind are not graceful either. It’s so hard for me to accept whatever is sometimes. My fight or flight kicks in and the adrenaline is quite unsettling. I actually have the urge to jolt right out of my body and escape whatever it is making me feel so uncomfortable. The reality that I am not a superhero is tragic. I am me. I am mom. I can fix everything right? The only problem is I am trapped in this human body. Where is my costume? Don’t I have hidden powers? I can’t possibly be this helpless and ordinary. That’s where the life lesson makes her entrance. She glares at me with crazy eyes as she taunts me with the words, “you’re not at all as great as you think you are. You are ordinary, powerless and I am your master”.

Last night and again this morning did not go as planned. The truth is, it never was about my plan anyway. I decided to take a deep breath and just go with the flow. Why waste the little energy I have fighting something I can never change? The truth is so obvious but even as I write these words I can feel the resistance inside of me. I need to make peace with that part and nurture it back to good health. I need to teach that small part to trust the sum of the whole and find the courage to really believe that it will all be okay in the end. The sky is not falling. A deviation from plans is not the end of the world. Distorted thoughts and believing in false threats is the only roadblock keeping me from living a calm, peaceful life. Time to remove them and carry on to a more peaceful place.

Go With The Flow

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Sick. That’s what I am today. I had a list of a million things I needed to do this week and the procrastinator in me pushed it all to today. Sometimes, life’s plan is different than my own and I have no other choice but to go with the flow. That is my message to you today. Don’t force life. Do what you can, grab a tube, be gentle with yourself, lay back and go with the flow. Tomorrow is another day.

How To Survive Valentines Day

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Today is Valentines Day. There will be flowers, chocolate, and romance in the air. Love songs will be playing inside the hearts and minds of people everywhere. For some, it will be a sad day. It will be a reminder of love gone wrong or the the hint that the right Valentine may never come along. Either way, we will all get through it. It is just another day.

My husband and I decided to celebrate last night. We made reservations at our favorite restaurant and decided to get a jump on this whole romance thing. Well, until the phone rang at 6:45. It was my husband, “hey woman, can you come down and jump me?” For a moment I was confused. Had he been reading 50 Shades of Grey when I wasn’t looking? “Um…okay. You know we have reservations at 7:15.” “Yeah, I just need a little to get me home.” I met him at a quiet, dark intersection that was everything but romantic. “Okay, turn around and jump me so we can get this thing over with.”

That is how our evening started. I jumped his truck and we headed home. I needed to change but my mouth was already watering for that filet. We arrived at the restaurant 15 minutes late and didn’t get seated until 8:15. Do people really eat this late? I was starting to yawn and secretly fantasizing about slipping into my flannel pajamas and going to sleep. Then I remembered the filet. I could feel the anticipation starting to build as the waiter handed me the menu. NO FILET! A fixed menu altered my plans.

By the time we got home, I was so tired that we ate the magnificent cakeballs I made in bed and halfway through I fell asleep. Yes, gross I know, I didn’t even brush my teeth. So much for the romance part.

Sometimes things don’t go as planned. I’ve learned to expect the unexpected and move on. Our expectations can ruin every moment if we don’t have a sense of humor. Lucky for me, I do. So I made my pink heart-shaped pancakes this morning and tonight I am headed to watch monster trucks with my youngest and sweetest valentine. Enjoy the day, whatever you do and be happy with the people you love. That is the greatest gift of all. And hey, if you need some reinforcement, download I WILL SURVIVE and go to bed a little bit early tonight.

“The difference is a good day and a bad day is your attitude.”- Dennis Brown
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