Stolen Moments

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You may not see it, but I know it is there

It is a shadow that I cannot escape, creeping closer when I turn away

It taps me on the shoulder but I do not dare turn my head

If I look it in the eyes it will consume me til we are one and the same

I keep moving but still it follows, closer and closer

I can feel myself fading into its darkness

It feels so empty, removed and I’m comfortable there

There are no concerns, no worries

Nothing can touch me there, not a single thing going on in this circus of a world

Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore

I sleep and sleep while depression tightens it’s hold

It wraps it’s arms snuggly around me and I settle in, sinking lower

A place to escape where I am safe from the intensity, the pain, the fighting

A place to rest until I am strong again 
Earier today I heard about someone who took his own life. Depression is a scary thing and it can rob people of the precious time they are meant to spend living and feeling happy. If you know someone with depression reach out. Show them compassion and kindness. Be the hope that has become dim. The world can be a lonely place. Be a loving embrace, a kind word, an understanding heart. Be the light when someone is trapped in the dark. It’s the smallest things that can make the biggest difference. Be that difference.

How My Life Changed in 2 Minutes

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I watched a video on Facebook this morning. It was the life of a girl set to music who died at the age of 22. I was destroyed. With each picture, as I watched this girl go through her life, I cried a little bit more. I couldn’t help but be jolted into the reality that life is so precious and so short. My own daughter is 16. Parenting a teen is so difficult for me. It’s hard not to feel frustrated and hurt by the constant changing moods. Someday she is fun and silly and other days she is filled with hate and anger. If I’m being totally honest, someday I let her slip through the back door and up to her room and I feel relief that she has not chosen to direct her bad mood directly at me. There are nights I go to sleep and I don’t say goodnight or take a last peek at her beautiful face. I spend so many minutes avoiding her or reacting to her instead of just loving her. They say everything comes to us at the right time. This video sure did. With each picture I could feel my heart change. Teens have it so hard today. They are struggling with new ideas and beliefs that are different than their parents ideals. I can’t imagine how awful it must be to feel like you are forced to be someone who doesn’t fit comfortably in your own skin. How awful it must be to feel unaccepted the way you are. Don’t we all want to be loved, respected, understood?

My daughter asked to go shopping this weekend and I told her I didn’t want to go. Guess what? I have changed my mind. Maybe we will go shopping and for pedicures and grab a bite to eat on the way home. Life goes by quickly and when we stop looking, it’s too late. Every day is another chance to get it right. To love, to see someone exactly as they are and to love and accept them unconditionally.  That is the greatest gift of all and the best gift I have ever learned as my 43rd year of living comes to an end. That is the lesson I will carry with me.  We are never too old to learn something new and I will never be too proud to change. Ebb and flow and flow and flow…Remember, you are the person you are today, not yesterday.

I was blessed enough to come across this poem. I hope you will learn from it as much as I have. 

                           Please Listen

when I ask you to listen to me, and you start giving me advice,

you have not done what I have asked.

when I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way,

you are trampling on my feelings.

when I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problems, 

you have failed me (strange as that may seem).

 

listen – all i asked was that you listen – not talk or do, just hear me

I can “do” for myself

I am not helpless … maybe discouraged and faltering – but not helpless

when you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.

 

when you accept as a simple fact that I feel what I feel, no matter how irrational

then I quit trying to convince you and get down to the business of understanding what is behind the irrational feeling

and when that is clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice

Irrational feelings make sense, when we understand what’s behind them.

so please listen and just hear me

and if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn and I will listen to you.

Author Unknown 

Confessions Of a Stay at Home Mom

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The alarm goes off and I am ready and excited to face the day
Three loads of laundry and picking clothes off the floor where they lay
Everyone dumps and I clean it up,
No time for goodbye or a quick little hug

Get me, give me, have it ready
Dinner, rides, some hot spaghetti
Most days I drag myself out of my bed
Somewhere along this path I became emotionally dead

Used, abused and sometimes confused
Taken for granted, bruised and misused
I asked for this, I chose the way
I long for appreciation, a thank you I pray

My worth, my pride is fading fast
This way of life, it just can’t last
So all alone, the pain runs deep
My hope, my dreams are fast asleep

It’s mid life crisis, that’s all they say
This time will pass, it will be okay
Is there any escape, anything I can do
Something for me to look forward to

If I had the chance, would I leave it behind
Would I pack my things, not look back and resign
They say that real happiness comes from within
Then I need to find a way to escape my own skin

I don’t want your pity, there are things I am grateful for
But it’s my turn this time to start living for
Myself and not others who don’t give me the time
My life is a poem that is missing the rhyme

I’ve hidden myself from the world, it’s a sin
These four walls are my castle, my home, my prison
Do I have the energy to start a new
One foot then the other is all I can do

Tick Tock

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Tick tick. I notice it more now the older I become,
The excruciating sound reminding me, taunting til I’m almost numb
Twenties, thirties, days long passed
Nearing mid forties, feeling aghast
Searching, grasping for some kind of meaning,
If this is all there is, I find it demeaning
My hopes and dreams have come to this,
Replaced by reality I cannot dismiss
My life is half over, can’t deny that is true
Regrets and pain add up, accrue
Tick tock, can you hear it getting louder,
it pulses in my ears, my soul it devours
How did I get here, do I have time to escape
This pain and this agony hanging over me like a drape
To feel and to love and to live I desire
If only the will I could somehow acquire
Tick tick I’m running out of time,
I’m long over due, must start trying to climb
Escape from this mess that has become my life
Pull myself out from underneath this strife
I know there is more, I know I must try,
The change is in me, with these wings I must fly
Tick
Tock

The Future Holds My Hand

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How the reckless winds of change come and go
As years, my life, does disappear with time
If I could look ahead , if I could know
Would years flow together, like words in a rhyme

Are there years in my life, life in my years
Have I lived my life well, have I loved often
My eyes, are they happy or filled with tears
Or did my heart stay closed, open, soften

I have to live better, starting right now
The future is what I mold, my design
Stop wasting time, time wasting me, how
My mind and my spirit, they must align

Little things seem big, and big things get little,
The years of my life, starting to whittle

This is the last day of the poetry challenge. Many are curious about the criteria for the poems. This one is a sonnet, composed of 14 lines in a rhyming pattern of ABAB, BCBC, CDCD, EE. The prompt: future
Today’s device: chiasmus (key-AHS-mus). At its simplest, a chiasmus is essentially a reversal, an inverted crossing. Example: mind on my money and my money on my mind. This one was the hardest for me to write.

Waiting For You

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You are there, waiting for me in the darkness

            Calling to me, wanting to be next to me

                     I can feel your presence, I sense you there patiently waiting for me to rediscover you

You are my life, my peace, my little gift of cotton

             You long for the movement, the prayer, the stillness

                     Does she remember me you wonder, for it’s been a few days

Then you see me as the light fills the space where you’ve slept

                 I pick you up and put you on, my yoga pants, I feel so blessed

                        That little drawer has kept you safe, now it’s me, you and savasana and we’ll call it a day             

This poetry challenge has me a little crazy but I keep on trying.

Prompt: drawer

Form: ode

Device: apostrophe

Losing My Grip

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I can feel the jealousy as I stare her way,
She lays her heart in the palm of his hands
He holds her so gently and touches her face
His mind is on her now, my memory erased

She is the one he holds in his arms
His attentions with her, our connection is harmed
He stares into space, his thoughts are on her
As I sit and remember the way that we were

She robbed his attention, she just wouldn’t go
There’s no room for me now, just look at her glow
And as much as I begged him, he just couldn’t stay
Because work just kept pulling him further away

His hands on the keyboard, never leaving her face
As his fingers caressed her, I felt so misplaced
Goodnight I called as I got into bed
As I slept with the tears that I let my heart shed.

This was my attempt at the finger prompt challenge. I didn’t follow the rules, I just used the prompt. Technology and the pressure to always do more at work is ruining relationships. Cell phones, texting, and Internet are replacing honest to goodness, heart to heart, one on one, quality time between people in love. The feeling of being in love and focusing on each other has been replaced by countless hours of surfing the net, silly apps and endless attention to things that could never be more important than the person in the room longing for our love and attention. Time that couples used to spend together has been replaced with sitting side by side in a cloud of distraction, not paying any attention to each other. And we wonder why so many relationships fail. Most of us are guilty and it is such a shame.

Holding Out For A Hero

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She looked for the answers in all the wrong places,
She looked for love in all the wrong faces
A hero she needed, but not with a cape,
Her life is her own, it is hers to reshape

Would she ever stop running, would she ever see,
Her mind was her prison and she held the key?
Convinced she was trapped, she stayed put all along,
Her life was pathetic, a sad country song

Looking and searching for some kind of meaning,
While her thoughts and her actions were always demeaning
If only she could have someone else’s life,
Well then she’d be happy, not filled with this strife

One day, quite by accident, she caught her reflection,
What she saw in the mirror was less than perfection
She had beat herself up for so many years
The proof was her pain that fell as her tears

The answer was her, it was there all along
Her thinking is where her life went all wrong
The compassion and love for herself had been zero
And this was her chance to be her own hero

Inspired by The Daily Post

Prompt: hero
Form: ballad
(I left out the device)

Lost in a Fog

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Time was a thief,

The darkness crept in quietly, slowly, ripping one memory at a time.
Tearing the moments and the pictures from her soul like the words from a mime

Knee deep in confusion. not knowing who to trust,
Her head always throbbing, she swore it would bust
One minute here and the next somewhere else,
The line between reality and fiction was turning to mush

Her eyes grew so cold, a blank stare of glass,
Was she still even in there, was this just a mask
Her life was a dance, she twirled in the shadows,
Conversation became like water, so cold and so shallow

Trapped in her body and tied to her life,
Like a ball and chain that would always bring strife
Lost in a sea of nameless faces
One day at a time, the chalkboard erases

Until one night, while lying in bed
the thief came back in, this time took her breath
She remembered it all, the years, all the faces,
She remembered her name, her husband, the places

She was free at last, unchained from her mind
That had slowly forgotten who she was over time
She will dance once again as she takes one last look
At the ones who stood by her and she left them her book

A book filled with stories, not gone after all
The memories, her life, in the book all along
They cried as the words seemed to dance on the stage,
She left it all there, her life on a page

Inspired by The Daily Post

Prompt: fog
Form: elegy

Roar

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Ready to
Prance
Watching, waiting
Breathing
Feeling the roar deep
Inside
Hungry for the taste, for
Release
Eyes wild, tantalized and ready to
Be heard
Crouching on all
Fours
Letting it go, screaming from
Within
Lions breath, I exhale
once more
Roll up my
Mat
Head for
Home

Lions breath is something we practice in yoga. It’s when you open your mouth as wide as you can, stick out your tongue, exhale forcefully and roar. I know it sounds silly but it is powerful. The release and the strength I feel far outweighs how silly I must look. I must remember to never roar in public.

Today’s prompt: animal

Assignment: find a way to include an animal in your poem. Or write about a situation that can bring out the animal in you.

Device: enjambment: when a grammatical sentence stretches from one line of verse to the next.