Getting Your Priorities Straight

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Do you ever have to stop yourself and say slow down? I am in such a habit of doing that sometimes I find it difficult to allow myself the opportunity to just relax. It is so important to mentally release myself from the endless list of things I think I have to do. The most important thing is to listen to my mind and body and make them the priority. Yesterday I was driving and could barely keep my eyes open. For the first time in a long time, I allowed myself to take a nap and I swear I woke up an entirely different person. This is your reminder to listen to that inner voice reminding you to take care of yourself. You deserve to be your own priority. The rest can wait.

Is Unity Even Possible Anymore? Part 1

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A few weeks ago I went to see Revive Us 2 in the theatre. It’s hard to believe that as people we have become so divided. How do we find unity in all this chaos? They spoke about priorities and how everything got so out of sorts. One of the best points I heard is that strength starts in the family. When families become so easily divided, how do we not expect our country to be divided? How can we put politics or beliefs before another human being? How come we choose something that doesn’t really matter over the people who absolutely do matter?  When we allow forces to pit us against one another, we end up on opposing sides. There are no sides, there are just people. Do we really believe someone’s worth and character comes down to a simple vote, a religion or belief? How could our priorities be so out of whack and why do we settle for such shallowness? At the end of the day, none of this nonsense matters. Is our need to control and have the world match our vision really more important than living with civility? What does matter is how we live our lives and how we treat other people. We are here to love, not to fight and divide. Love has become conditional and I too have fallen victim to its destruction. How do we get back to being unified? We start with our own families. We fix that and then we extend it into the world. More about that in my next post. Take time to re-examine your priorities. Keep them in order. That is the first step.

Why I Despise Sports

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Anyone who has the endurance and patience to continue to follow my posts knows, without a doubt, that I am constantly questioning and reevaluating my own life. Is it any surprise that I do that when it comes to everything else as well? At what point does one say, this is ridiculous and make the changes to live a more sensible life? Ever?

I despise sports. Not the sports themselves but the crap you have to deal with because of the people who run them. I’ll let you decide.

My daughter joined the volleyball team late. She was told she had to make up every day of conditioning before she would be allowed to play. She finished last week and came home happy and high-fiving everyone. We aren’t talking about a few laps around the track. We are talking 1000 push-ups, 1000 sit-ups, 1000 pop ups, suicides and then some more. Is strength and conditioning going to make her a better volleyball player? No, playing volleyball and practicing would but she sat on the bench like a trooper, cheering on her teammates since games started in early August. She has already had 2 games this week. Guess what? She still hasn’t played. Even though she worked to get everything completed, still they won’t put her in a game? What kind of message does that send to an athlete, especially a teenager? If that isn’t bad enough, these kids leave school around 3:00 on the bus. They must stay and sit through freshman, JV and varsity games and ready for this one? They are not allowed to do any school work while they wait. Two nights in a row she has left for school and walked in the door at 9:30 at night. She has 3 games this week and did I mention they don’t stop to get these kids food?So, by the time she actually gets to her homework, it is 10:00 at night. She was up until 1:00 in the morning trying to get it all done.

Someone please tell me when our priorities got so screwed up? When did sports take priority over schoolwork and why the hell doesn’t anyone challenge this? Here’s an even better question, who the hell do these coaches think they are that they can even make a rule as ridiculous as this one? Where are the parents? Why is nothing being done? What if your kid has a huge test the next day? You can’t even pick them up from the game, they have to wait until everyone’s done.

The answer is, we live in a world where people kiss ass to get what they want for themselves. What’s worse, they do it at any cost. They are afraid to make waves because they know all too well, they might face retribution. And no one wants to see their kid take the brunt of the consequence of challenging or questioning a coach. People are weak and they are turning their heads away from the things that really matter. Someone please explain this to me. Am I blowing this way put of proportion or do you see a problem too?

Late or On Time?

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It seems like there is no sense of urgency anymore. I think it’s a blessing and a curse that people are on their own time clocks these days but is it making us irresponsible? 

Question: if you are not ready but need to be someplace at a certain time(work/school/meeting), will you finish what you have to do and show up late or will you stop what you’re doing to show up on time?

Why?

You is Important!

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The way I think has certainly changed with each year that I grow older. As a child I was tricked into believing that everyone would always know what I want and it would be magically provided. I just expected that someone would always be there to take care of my needs. That’s what adults do. They cater to children from the time they are born. When a child cries he is immediately placed in someone’s arms. When a child is hungry, that child is almost immediately given food and when a child whines, what do we do to stop the whining? I don’t even have to say the words. We are just groomed to believe that our needs are important and they should be met in a timely fashion.

As a teen and a young adult, it was disheartening to find out that not only would my needs not be Immediately gratified, but most people didn’t even know or care about what my needs even were. I would quietly stew in my room or in the corner of a room because I actually believed that everyone everywhere should recognize exactly what I want. I never had to ask for anything before, they just knew so why wasn’t I that important anymore? So began the woe is me phase. No one cares, I’m not important. Everyone sucks. Ahhh…the victim stage.

Once I had kids of my own I saw how the balance of the whole concept blended together. As a parent, I too began to meet the needs of my own children and at the same time sacrificed my own. Tired? Too bad, I have kids now and I am on their schedule. Hungry? Oh well, my child just pulled the last bite of food out of my mouth to eat it herself. This is the time we believe we are supposed to sacrifice ourself for the needs of others. Our actions actually teach people that we are not important and that their needs come before our own.

Enter the teenage children stage. This is definitely the time a parent smashes into a brick wall. It hurts and the pain stings as we watch the selfishness take over our teens whole demeanor. The lightbulb comes on and the sirens go off and finally reality and truth hit us harder than Muhammad Ali. We realize that we have created our own monster and we have to again show the world that we too are important. That our needs are just as important as anyone else’s and denying oneself that right becomes a thing of the past.

So, what did I learn as I approach my 43rd birthday? I’ve learned that there is day that I am special. A day that my life will be celebrated. I day I will no longer expect those around me to surprise me or have a clue what I want. This year I will throw my own little party at the place I want on the day I want. Whether anyone even shows up doesn’t even matter. What does matter is I will be where I want to be doing exactly what I want to do with the people that are kind enough to be there to be part of my plan. It is okay to put yourself first. It is okay to tell the world what it is you want and it is okay to yell to the world “I am important!” Remember, you teach people how to treat you and if you always put yourself on the back burner, others will too. Think about what message you have been sending to others. Are you important?