Today I woke up fully understanding how much of what we do can be a catalyst of stress for another human being. Sometimes it is intentional and other times, like in this example, it is not.
I have this intense need and desire for calm. I moved out to the country because part of feeling calm requires a certain level of quiet for me. I don’t like noise and several noises cause me anxiety. Last night it was the wind. Oklahoma wind is not ordinary. Winds here cause amazing damage added to the fact that my house is on tornado alley, contribute to the anxiety that stirs inside of me. The neighbors are building a garage and every morning I wake up to hours of banging. Bang, bang, bang added to the wind already affects me. I think part of the reason I love yoga so much is because it is the only place I can seem to find that offers the level of calm and quiet I crave.
This is just a reminder that what we do has an effect. It travels out like a wave and causes some type of reaction in other people. Remember to stay aware. Remember our words and actions and posts reach far beyond what we ever imagine. As for me, I will be in search of some quiet today, at least until this storm inside of me quiets down so I can tolerate the one outside.
It’s a noisy world. I don’t know why it happens but noise makes me anxious. One thing I have learned is that it is imperative for me to start the day off quietly. It is in that quiet that I find the calmness that sometimes gets forgotten beneath the noise. At bedtime I go to a place to find that quiet again. After the tv is on for more than an hour, my insides start to shake. I retreat to my room and become one with that calmness again. I wonder if there are other people like me that feel anxious with every loud voice, screeching of a chair over a tile floor, the bouncing, banging of a washer that sits right outside my bedroom door. I wish I could ignore noise, drown it out or find distraction in it, but for me that is not an option. How about you? Does noise bother you? Is there a particular noise that really gets under your skin?
Sometimes, when you write enough, the brain gets quiet. Sometimes it takes writing several posts a day to finally stop the thoughts, but when that moment comes that ” you got nothing”, there is a sense of relief. That quiet, calm uninterrupted feeling is a welcome change and I am going to take a moment to enjoy it. How often do you find moments like this one? How much writing do you have to do to finally find the silence? I can actually hear the clock ticking and the refrigerator running. The mind and it’s constant racing are a distraction we become so used to that we do not even recognize the power it holds until we find it’s release. What do you do to find that release?
It’s early in the morning here in the heart of the city. My family is fast asleep. They don’t notice the sound of busy movement outside our hotel window. They don’t hear the noise of trucks changing gears or beeping their horns. They are in a quiet, safe, gentle place where all those things cannot touch them, no matter how loud they appear to me. I think there’s a lesson here. Life is busy and noisy and is always going on at a fast pace all around us. That is why we must find our calm and quiet on the inside and carry that with us throughout our days. What do you sound like on the inside? A quiet beach or a noisy city? Decide where you want to go and find a way to be there. Sometimes you have to provide your own place for a mental escape. A place you can get to in a moments notice to give you the calm and quiet you need, where it doesn’t cost you a dime and the destination will never be sold out. Go there and be happy.
A little bit of nothing goes a long, long way. When I was younger I filled my days and weekends with a long list of places to go and things to do. Every minute, every second, every hour had to be planned. I mentally needed to know in advance exactly what the day entailed. As I get older, I linger in the days I don’t have to wake up and run. I linger in the days that are filled with time and space and nothing pressing that has to be done. I love to wake up on a Saturday morning and stay in bed a little longer and just bask in the quietness and motionless of everything around me. I own time now and it does not control me. I do get to turn the hands of my own clock or perhaps stop it from ticking for just a few moments. It is in those beautiful moments that I feel peace and when I allow myself to quiet my mind and release the guilt of doing nothing, I really enjoy being me. I hope you all find a few moments in your day to practice the art of doing nothing. It may just be one of the most beautiful art forms of all.
It’s so quiet in the house today. I can hear the ticking of the clock and the small hum coming from the heater. I love quiet. I notice as I get older I have an intolerance for noise. It causes my heart to race and I can feel myself grow more agitated the more it continues. But right now, being right here in this dim quiet room is like heaven. I think sometimes we forget how important it is to just sit and be silent. The last few nights I have slept very little. My mind is either racing with dozens of thoughts or I’m dreaming so vividly that I feel awake. This is a good wake up call. It is impossible to shut off all the noise and clutter in our minds in a moments notice. We must practice quiet and find ways to make space for those times during our day. I am grateful I have found mine today.
There is a time after I drop the kids off at school that I look forward to every day. It is the moment I walk back into the house and the only thing I hear is the clock ticking on the wall or the wind blowing gently outside my windows. I love that quiet time for just me to sit and breathe. The world has become such a noisy place, and the older I get, the less tolerance I have for it. The quiet helps me reconnect with my own calm and it helps me get through the rest of the day. Usually, this is the time I blog or think or just bask in the quiet.
I used to wonder why I felt so stressed when everyone would walk in the door each night. Then I realized one cell phone is buzzing, one is quacking, one is playing an annoying tune. The tv is on in two different rooms and usually Kayleigh is singing at the top of her lungs. Just writing the words down and thinking about it is tensing me up. The overstimulation makes my insides tremble. I love quiet! I need quiet and for now I will take a few more minutes to be one with it until I get started with this busy day. I dream of someday going on a silent retreat. That is one for my bucket list. Someday I will finally get there, but for now those few precious moments each and every day will keep me calm and centered. What is it that helps you feel that way?
Purification. That was the theme of yoga tonight. Purification of toxins from the body, purification of beliefs of our mind, and purification of all things that are weighing down our souls. It felt so great to push all those toxins out and away while at the same time breathing in truth, peace, love,and light. Where does your truth come from and how much can you trust in it? Do you believe in the egotistical beliefs of the mind, the unconditional love and need for acceptance of the heart or do you find truth in the stillness of your soul? In this difficult world that we find ourselves living in today, I believe people are reaching for truth in all the wrong places. Truth is not the better good of all, it is not the acceptance of all things. You cannot read it in a paper or hear it in the news. It lives inside of all of us and if we look hard enough or listen intently enough we will find it beyond the noise, beyond the reasoning, beyond what we waste time wanting it to be. We don’t have to argue truth, or convince others of it, it is just there and when we find it there is no doubt. We just know it. It is that place and that moment that the clouds move apart in just the right way that you catch a quick glimpse of that blue sky. If your life is busy, and your life is loud the truth will stay hidden behind all the wrong things, but when you find time for quiet and spend time in that quiet, sometimes, if we are lucky, truth reveals itself.