You Don’t Live There Anymore

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Repeat after me: You cannot re-live the past. One more time. You cannot re-live the past.

Sometimes, a moment in time touches me so deeply that I want to repeat it. I tell myself this ridiculous nonsense that if I go through the same motions, I will feel the same feelings. 

I was looking back at old pictures in Timehop and some of those pictures brought me back to days I was truly happy. Year after year I try and recreate those moments and deep down its just impossible. That moment, the one thing that makes me completely happy is dependent on too many things I cannot control. If it involves other people, it is dependent on their attitude, words, mood. You name it. I have to let go of holding onto to an idea and trying to stretch it from the past all the way into the future. There’s too much that happens along the way and expectations, well, we know what they do. They disappoint almost every single time. It’s so much better to start with a clean slate and just let life unfold. We can’t manipulate or control it. We can’t grab onto it to make it last longer than it will. We can’t undo it or redo it. No matter how hard we try, I try, it will never happen the way I will it to.

If something is good, enjoy it with every ounce of your being. Be there completely and let it imprint on your mind and heart. If something is bad, be there completely too. Feel the pain and feel it completely. Learn the lesson and move on. Don’t look back too often and don’t squint to see what’s up ahead. Just be wherever you are.

Repeat after me: Stop trying to re-create the past. You don’t live there anymore.