Broken

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KNOWING THE RIGHT THING IS ONLY THE FIRST STEP. DOING IT IS ANOTHER. 

There are days I loathe myself.

 Moments I resent the brokenness inside of me that reaches out to break another.

 I regret the moments I take things a step further than I should, times when my anger spills over out of control. 

I ache over words I should never have spoken. The kind of words that leave a lasting scar.

 I regret the days I try and do too much, not leaving a single ounce of energy for myself. 

Sometimes I’m just mean and that part of me takes the wheel and I cannot find the breaks.

Some days I resent being that person everyone can count on.

 Need something? I’ll get it. 

Forgot something? I’ll bring it.

 Eventually I break when someone’s irresponsibility puts a tremendous burden on me that I don’t deserve to own.

 I think people forget I am human too.

 I get tired. 

I get angry.

 I am broken and I am trying to hold myself together the best I can.

 Today I will repeat to myself , Be Better. You’ve got this. 

 Today I will practice forgiveness.

Today I will try my best not to make the mistakes of yesterday. 

Today I will be the best version of myself.

RegretĀ 

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Have you ever realized you were doing something awful and continued to do it anyway? Yeah, that happened to me tonight. I know it won’t do me any good to beat myself up about it but I am extremely angry with myself. How come it isn’t easier to stop something we know just isn’t right and is detrimental to ourselves and others? The worst part of the whole situation is I’ve done it over and over again for these last few days. I hope tomorrow brings better choices.

Is there something you do that you know you shouldn’t because it doesn’t leave you or anyone else around you in a positive place? I’d love to hear about it.

Our Reflection

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When you wake up in the morning, remind yourself this day will not last. You will never get it back. 

When you choose anger and lash out at the people you love, remember you can never take it back.

When you choose to be selfish and walk all over the people who love you, they will remember every time they look back.

When you choose hatred and waste a precious day not loving, you will never get it back.

When you spend years of your life complaining instead of practicing gratitude, those are lost opportunities you will never get back.

When you choose to hurt the people you love just to prove a point, you take away a happy day they will never get back.

Your life is a gift. You are meant to serve, love and celebrate every single day. What you do with your time, every hour, second, minute is up to you. You have a choice to ruin your own life and the lives around you or you have the choice to make the most out of time that is continuously ticking away. We are only given a set number of hours. Will we spend them loving, hating, complaining? We must choose wisely because every moment that passes is one less we have left to live. We must choose love and kindness. We must choose to look for the good in every situation even when it’s hard to see. We must learn to appreciate the people in our lives and love them enough to not use our words and actions to push them away. We must notice the little things like a sunset or a beautiful rainbow after a horrible storm. We must notice the rose blooming in our backyard more than we notice somebody’s flaws. We must see the beauty in everyone instead of placing conditions on who we expect them to be. We must embrace the moments as they come and not waste waste them because we are too proud to let go of our own anger. We must choose to laugh and love and most importantly to be happy. One day, we will open our eyes and stare into the mirror at someone very old. Our eyes will be filled with joy or pain as they reflect back on the time we will never get back. Our hearts will explode with joy or crumble inside our chest because of the way we chose to live. If you were looking in that mirror right now, what would you see? There is still time to live a different way, are you too proud? Will you look the other way? Will you live without regret? The mirror does not lie and as much as we try to avoid it, someday we will have to be accountable for who we are.