Whose Fault Is it?

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In A Return To Love, Marianne Williamson says this,

“What the ego doesn’t want us to see is that our pain doesn’t come from the love we weren’t given in the past, but from the love we ourselves aren’t giving in the present.”

On a good note, that idea suggests that all we have to do is make a simple decision to heal ourselves. I can’t deny the fact that there are times I selfishly withhold love when I feel I’m not getting the love I deserve so does that reinforce the chance that I have carried that little grudge from the past into my own present and future? I am smart enough to know that two wrongs will never make a right but… Why is there always a but? Do you think there is any truth to this? Could it be true that we could possibly be the cause of our own pain? It’s so easy to blame people who have hurt us for the condition of our heart but maybe it wasn’t the person who was unable to love us that caused the most pain but rather the walls we built around our own heart. How can we possibly love completely if deep down we are timid and guarded? How can we point a finger at someone else for not loving us enough and then turn around and not love someone else enough? Its a double edge sword so put it down.  How can we surrender to our need to love and be loved so that we can once again love completely? It’s a vicious cycle. We can’t receive love completely if we don’t give love completely. Perhaps it’s time to point the finger back at ourselves. Next time you feel like you need some love, try giving some and see what happens.

Today, Choose Love

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We have to remember how connected we really are. Whatever we do to someone else, we do to ourselves. It is explained so clearly in this explanation that it is hard to ignore.

“A Course in Miracles says that everyone we meet will either be our crucifier or our savior, depending on what we choose to be to them. Focusing on their guilt drives the nails of self-loathing more deeply into our own skin.”

Excerpt From: Williamson, Marianne. “A Return to Love.” HarperCollins. iBooks. 

We think things like our hatred, our criticism, our anger are only feelings toward someone else but the truth is, whatever we feel toward someone else, we turn inward and feel more about ourselves. 

It is so important to pay attention to your feelings and thoughts. It is time to heal your mind and the relationships that are holding you back in your own life. Remember, when you choose to look for the good in someone, even when it’s hard, when you choose to forgive and see underneath the flawed person who obscures the perfect soul that is underneath, you will love and forgive yourself. You will discover those parts of yourself that have been buried for far too long  and you will finally be blessed with the freedom to live the life you have always wanted. The greatest gift you can give to yourself is self forgiveness and self love.

Before you speak to anyone, before you react or respond, repeat this mantra silently to yourself.

Today, choose love  

Let every word, every feeling, every interaction come from a place of love and your relationships will transform before your eyes.

Today is a new day. I pray you will take advantage of the opportunity to start today to change your life. I pray you find the courage to reach out and grab the happiness and joy that you truly deserve. You always have a choice. Pride or love? Today, choose love.

When Your Ground Is Shaken

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Do you believe there really are coincidences? There are so many times in my life that the path I am on leads me exactly to where I need to be in a given moment. It may come in the form of an inspirational quote, or a person whose life touches mine for a brief moment. It could be a stranger or a teacher or someone who innocently offers a new perspective. I used to think that there was no real meaning behind whatever I was attracting. It was just a random occurrence that happened to brush elbows with me at a convenient time. I am now starting to believe it is something much deeper than a simple, random event.

I have been struggling lately when it comes to my personal relationships. I have taken a step back and looked closer at the depth the relationships encompass. I think for most, relationships are selfish and conditional but what do I know? It is easy to have an affinity with a good friend or family member who never questions our integrity or our character, someone who is our life cheerleader and will never take the time to look close enough to really know or understand who we are. It feels good when someone thinks we are just perfect but is that even realistic? Most people know there is another side just as true as the story we tell and the real truth lies somewhere in the middle of the two.

We all have great qualities but we have damaging ones too. We are made up of qualities that make us special but ones that make us difficult as well. There are people who see every part of us, down to the most specific detail. They don’t subtract what they don’t like and pretend it doesn’t exist. They see our whole self, the good, the bad, and every detail in between and they are not afraid to point it out. They accept us just the way we are but they do not allow us to believe we are someone we are not. They see us with a judgemental, critical eye but they admire the best sides of us too. They look beyond what we tell them and who we appear to be on the outside and they see the truth we are not able to admit to ourselves. They love us enough to turn the mirror around and force us to look into it and sometimes we hate them for what they try and make us see.

I believe we need both types to survive. Relationships are difficult and the the conditions of our relationships reflect back on who we really are.

Today, I had one of those coincidences or meaningful timing of events. I attended a yoga class that affected me very deeply. The message was simple yet profound and went something like this. Honor the people who come in and out of your life, every single one. Some are meant to test you, some are meant to love you and some are meant to change you. Someday, someone will cause you so much pain that it will rock you to your very core. The wind will be knocked right out of you and the ground you stand on will begin to shake. The truth is, we will not have any control. We must tap into our strength and faith and find any way we can to let it go. Every person, every lesson and every relationship will lead you to a place where you feel even more grounded than you’ve ever been before. You will discover that no matter what anyone does to you or how bad they hurt you, you will always have a safe place to land. When you truly become who you were meant to be and you find consistency in your words and actions, no ones opinion or treatment of you will shatter you anymore. What people think and who they expect you to be will no longer shake the strength of your character or your belief in yourself. You will discover you have the power to forgive, let go and eventually move on and all the while your true essence stands amazingly strong. Your heart and soul will remain unchanged and whole regardless of any circumstance. It is like a shield that will protect you from others expectations, judgements and conditions. You will find greater love and respect for yourself when you land safely back on the two legs that help you stand strong. Your self worth is a gift and no one can ever take that away. When you truly respond instinctually from your heart and make an effort to not intentionally harm another, those legs will feel powerful enough to support the weight of the world.

I am grateful for the reinforcement and for the teaching I was offered today. I could feel every single word and I will keep the lesson close and allow it to spill over into each and every relationship. I will remind myself, some people are in our lives for a moment and others will always be here to stay. The people themselves will show you who is which so you don’t have to waste precious time figuring it out on your own. Have faith in yourself and be true to who you are. The only person who should never let down is you. The rest are just too unpredictable.