When Being Right is Valued More Than Being Kind

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It’s really a test for me when the first thing that shows up in the morning is confrontation and bad energy. I’ve come to that place in life where I have no interest in that anymore. There are very few people worth salvaging my inner peace for and I’ve been removing the ones I can a little more each day. It’s not that I can’t be friends with people who feel different than I do, I am simply not in the game of proving who is better, smarter or has more value. To have to spend comment after comment, tit for tat over complete nonsense is not how I want to spend my time and energy. If we disagree, we disagree. Game over. Move on. So what. Big deal. Friends accept a difference in opinion and they know when their friendship is worth more and they simply move on. Why the constant bickering? Are we more obsessed with being right than we are with being kind? I’m afraid so.

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Take A Break

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Sometimes I don’t realize how toxic  something is until I step away from it. Like it or not, some people’s purpose is to poison the spirit and hopes of others. Social media is filled with them. Some we know and others we don’t but even the most positive of the bunch can be deflated after a bombardment of poison. This is a reminder to step away from your phone, the internet, email. Take a walk outside and breath in some fresh air. We all need a mental break sometimes, a place to escape the negativity that constantly tries to tap on our door. Don’t answer it. Stand tall and be whatever positive difference you can make in this world.

We The People Are Very Selfish

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Just turn on the confirmation hearings, the news, click on social media and you will hear people yelling and screaming about what they don’t like and don’t want. No one knows how to be slightly uncomfortable anymore. People really think that the world revolves around their comfort and desires and they have forgotten how to behave when things don’t go exactly they way they would like them to. We call our dissent, our continuous need to  bitch, bully and moan freedom of speech but I would bet that most child psychiatrists would agree     we are really having full blown, adult tantrums while dragging down humanity and society with our dignity. The truth is, this is not about you. It’s not about me or Dick or Jane. Like it or not, it is about all of us as a whole. What makes me feel good might make your blood boil and you’re just gonna have to learn to live with that without causing a commotion everywhere you go. We get it, really! After 5,000 posts slamming Trump, it’s clear you don’t like him. Guess what? No one cares. For the person who continues to post negative memes about Obama, we hear you too. You don’t like him. We heard you the first post but by the 700th post people are going to get sick of your whining. You’re opinion is not that important. What is important is that you are purposely trying to piss other people off while you shove your opinion down our throats. Your argument is that you have the right to say and do anything you want, the right to express your opinion and fight for what you believe. You do not have the right to tear this country apart. You may be able to unfriend anyone who didn’t vote the same way you did but like it or not you are going to have to coexist in real life with people who think differently than you do. Grow up. Cut it out. Get over yourself and stop making the same choice day after day to divide this country even more. Be better not bitter and try being an example to follow that might just start to heal our country and start to bring us back together. Or are you too selfish for that? Who is this about? You or all of us as a whole? I guess we’ll find out next time you decide to post. We live in a world where we expect children to act like respectable, responsible adults and yet we  adults carry on and behave like children. This is the time we need a change more than ever before. It’s time to start seeing ourselves in the mirror and clean up the image we are close to destroying.

Just Don’t Say It

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I think most of us have that tingly sense that alerts us to when we say something we probably should have kept to ourselves. Self control is becoming a thing of the past and the result is the uncomfortableness that is often felt when we are part of conversations either in person or on social media. I was following a thread on Facebook earlier and a third of the comments would have been better left unsaid. I think people forget to ask themselves the important questions before they go and open their sarcastic mouths. Are your words kind? Are they necessary? Will they add value to the conversation? Will they insult or demean another human being? People have to stop posting and blurting things out without considering the effect it will have on the people around them. The energy lately is just not good and it is destroying relationships one comment at a time. Have some respect. Show some restraint and be accountable for the energy you bring to a particular space. Ask yourself one question? Would you like to be served back what you seem to love to dish out? Someday you will get what you give so why not give what you want to get?

Silence is Golden

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Why is it that people will bend over backwards to let you know they think you are wrong but silent and detached otherwise? It always amazes how ready and available people are to jump in with their argumentative, negative energy 50 times more than they will participate to support or say something positive. What is it inside of us that loves to fight or correct or demean and put down? Why do we like to provoke and stir the pot? What drives us to fact check and prove wrong the very people we are supposed to be most connected to? It’s okay to disagree. There is no harm in that but some people do it on such a regular basis that you would thing they get paid for it. When a critical thought comes to mind, sometimes it’s just best to keep it there instead of allowing any and all thoughts to fly out of your mouth. It takes discipline and practice but eventually you can learn to walk away from most arguments an inch or two taller. Sometimes I don’t think we can see ourselves the way others do. I often wonder what it would be like if everyone had a thought bubble over their head with a description of what they were thinking. Can you even imagine how much that truth would hurt? I challenge everyone including myself to actually keep score of how many critical thoughts and words you use compared to positive, encouraging ones. Ask yourself some tough questions like, do I think I know more than everyone else? Do I give my opinion more than people think I should? How do I make people feel? Are my relationships happy or strained? The answers might be tough to admit but we all need to get real with ourselves once in awhile. 

I will leave you with this quote:

You want to ask one question, ask yourself, what are you giving to the universe and only that will be returned.

Amit Ray
If you want love, give love.

If you want encouragement, give encouragement.

If you want peace, offer your own peace.

It’s that simple. Give more of what you want and watch what happens.

Be a Fork

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Some people are like steak knives, always cutting. It’s almost like cutting is an obsession, waiting for someone to say or do something, always ready to rip apart. How about, just for today, we put the knives away and challenge ourselves to see something good in everyone we see. Can you do it? Can you stop looking down on everyone, even the people you despise the most? Can you stop the negative comments and puts downs both in the words you speak and the message you send out through social media? Sometimes it’s better to say nothing at all. So what do you say? Are you capable of that kind of restraint? You can make the world bitter or you can make it better. Choose your words wisely today.

There Are Some Things You Shouldn’t Share on Social Media

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Insomnia came for a visit tonight. It happens when I have a lot on my mind and this time is no exception. I was scrolling through Facebook a few minutes ago waiting patiently for sleep to come and I noticed a few posts that were all too familiar. Someone was making a negative reference to Donald Trumps appearance. If it’s not him it’s Obama or someone else in the limelight. So what, right? What’s the big deal? I guess I will tell you. We do not choose the way we look. We can’t choose our height, the color of our eyes, our skin or whether or not we will lose our hair. Not everyone is born to look like a movie star or a supermodel. I think it is terribly cruel to make fun of someone because they look less than perfect by our own standards. What does that possibly say about you? What kind of person rips at something about someone they have no power to change? People are insecure enough without constantly being ridiculed for the way they look. I don’t care if it’s Donald Trump or a neighbor down the street, to publicly and openly insult someone is just plain cruel. Imagine if people would be more open to pointing out positive attributes rather than negative ones? Why do insults come so easily these days? Isn’t there enough cruelty in the world already without making a contribution of our own? 

Be kind. Be sensitive to people’s feelings, everyone’s feelings. There can’t be certain rules for certain people. If we point a finger at someone for doing something we think is wrong, if we do it, we are wrong too. There is no retribution. It’s our responsibility to always act in a way that sets a higher, kinder standard. Life is hard enough without having to deal with pettiness or added insecurities. No one deserves to be demeaned  in the middle of a Facebook post. I wouldn’t want to be. Sure, some people would be unaffected but believe me many would. You know what they say, if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

Today, compliment someone. Watch the effect it will have. Maybe it will make someone uncomfortable because it’s something they don’t hear very often. Maybe it will even make someone grow a little bit taller. What do you say, are you with me on this one?