Do you ever stop and ask yourself, is what I’m doing getting me to my end goal? I do it all the time. There can be a million people following a process but if it doesn’t make sense to me, I’m just not going to do it. I question everything big or small to make sure I am not wasting time going through motions that do nothing to advance my agenda. Just tonight I helped my son study for a history exam. They were given the blank, study guide at the end of class. Did I mention the test is tomorrow? So, we spent the night searching for answers to questions that may or may not be right that get handed in tomorrow before the exam for a grade. No one goes over the questions to make sure these kids have the right answers. They go through the motions of studying information that they think is right but what if it’s not? Is there no such thing as common sense anymore? Who is accountable and for what exactly? I’m really confused about the point behind this process. We had 1.5 hours of chemistry tutoring that should have taken 45 minutes but because of the busy, useless work that came before, he was distracted when I needed him to be focused. And then we spent the rest of the night drilling in answers that we have no idea are right because of course they are worded with trickery. School just seems like such a waste of time these days and I am losing my enthusiasm due to the uselessness of the process. I can’t help and wonder if teachers ever question if this method makes any sense. I just don’t get it. Be a thinker. Be open to change. Check if what you are doing is helping you achieve a certain outcome. Don’t blindly follow. Find your own path and lead. We need more leaders and less followers. More thinkers and less aimless doers.
Have you made any positive changes so far this year? We are so eager to point out our flaws and usually too timid to celebrate our accomplishments. This is your chance to brag. What is something you are proud of this week? I have made it to the gym two days in a row which is a new streak for me. It’s amazing how good we can feel about ourselves when we come up with a plan and actually stick to it. What have you stuck to? I’d love to hear about it!
I am super hard on my kids. I expect a lot but I no longer expect more than their personal best. This push for better, brighter, smarter, perfect is becoming an inner battle I must fight from the inside out. I cannot tell you the number of parents I know who absolutely freak out over anything less that an A. Newsflash everyone! Not every kid is capable of A’s. As a parent who is more involved with my child’s schoolwork than most, I can honestly attest that sometimes the amount of information taught in class is not enough tobe successful on tests. This expectation that you can give kids an overload on informationin a short time folllwed by an exam where you are expected to APPLY what you learn is setting these kids up for failure. Not everyone can make those connections that are obvious for a select few. All I can say is, yes Chase, an 82 is just fine.
Sometimes you have to have the courage to step on the scale. How in the world could you possibly know if you are reaching your goals if you don’t take the opportunity to be honest with yourself about how your doing? It’s easy to wander around aimlessly claiming to strive for a specific end result but if we don’t evaluate the steps we are taking to get there, wandering around is all we may ever achieve. Which brings me back to why I stepped on the scale in the first place.
I have been doing workout challenges for two months now. I went from basically laying on the couch to working out hard for short increments every single day. I feel great. My body has changed and more importantly my mind has transformed. I feel strong and confident and committed until I stepped on the scale. All that hard work disappeared in one short moment. That could have been it for me. That could have been the moment in time I allowed myself the excuse to duck out and quit. Guess what? That’s not happening. Instead, I was able to get real with myself and admit the truth. Yes I have been working out consistently hard but guess what? I have been eating consistently hard as well. So today I am committing myself to both working out and maintaining healthy eating. I have been very successful in both but never at the same time. So, my new challenge is to put it all together and get the best results I have ever seen.
The lesson here is to check in with yourself. Whether it’s weight related or any other type of goal. Make sure the steps you are taking will put you on the path that will lead to you successfully achieving your goal.
Commitments are so hard to keep these days. I start out with the best of intentions but my laziness and defeating self talk often stand in the way of any completion. 44 days ago I made the decision to focus less on my weight and more on becoming stronger and fitter. I took a 15 day challenge followed by a 30 day challenge and tomorrow will be 45 days of creating a stronger, better, more confident me. The more I commit to my own goals, the better I feel about myself every day. I started at a low point. I was in pain, had little motivation and believed I would never see the results I wanted to achieve. Tomorrow one challenge ends and the next one begins. My new mindset is to stop focusing on the end result. Stop comparing who I am today to who I want to be. Change occurs slowly and takes dedication and devotion every single day. Before you know it, one day turns into one week and one week into one month. My new motto is strong and steady. I will get there and every day I am one step closer. One day at a time I am learning discipline. I am retraining my brain to speak a new language. You can do this. You are strong. You are doing this. Keep on going. It really is mind over matter but it doesn’t happen over night. Sometimes you have to be your own life coach because after all, no one is more affected by your own choices than you are. Use affirmations and encouraging words and when you finally do picture yourself at the finish line, you will be there smiling.
Everywhere I look, people are trying to do more, be more. I can’t help but sit back and wonder to myself, are goals starting to be more important than living these days? Conversations with friends revolve around the desperate need for their kids to get straight A’s. Guess what? Not everyone is capable of getting an A in every class. What kind of message are we starting to scream to our children? Anything less than perfect is not good enough? I watch as parents spend almost 1000 dollars to help their college bound student get a better grade on the ACT test. Do we really need our kids to get into Harvard or Yale to feel like they are successful? When is enough enough? How many parents rave about their kids getting a 4.0 at the end of their college years when in the real world what matters is if they get a job and how well they do it? How many teams do we have to encourage our son to play on to do everything we can to eliminate his chance of sitting on the high school bench? How many hours do we have to spend grasping at goals that don’t mean a damn thing in the end? Is perfection and being the best worth the time we trade for it every single day? Does happiness and living have to be dependent on whether or not we ever reach our goals and do you ever ask yourself, what is the cost?
I’m sorry but I will not raise my children to kill themselves to be above the crowd. I will raise them to appreciate their real gifts and encourage them to use those gifts to better the world. I will encourage them to appreciate time and the things that most agree are really important at the end of our lives. I will encourage them to be their own personal best and not to compare themselves to the people around them. I will show them that I love them for who they are and never make them feel it is conditional on how well they do. Not being the best but rather their personal best, will always be good enough for me.
Have you even accomplished something you thought you couldn’t do alone? I know it’s a little bit early but today I got the artificial Christmas tree up all by myself. I know it doesn’t sound like a difficult feat but being only five feet tall, I am somewhat challenged. Not only did I get the tree up and the lights on but I also managed to get the bow on the top. I guess it’s true, where there’s a will there’s a way and once we set out mind to getting something done, it’s as good as done.
What have you done recently that you didn’t think you were capable of?