If I could make today perfect for you I would. If I could give you one hour without doubts and fears I would.
If I could fill your heart with joy and your mind with thoughts of love I would watch you overflow with everything that is good.
If I could erase your insecurities and give you the confidence of who you are through my eyes I would.
If I could erase every feeling of less than and replace them with more than enough, you know I would.
If I could give you a constant peace that would nurture your heart you know I would.
Today I pray you find the strength to withstand every battle, the courage to face and overcome every fear and the knowledge that there is someone somewhere praying for you and loving you and even you feel all alone.
I had a fellow blogger reach out to me recently. I am here to tell you that I practice what I preach. If you are feeling isolated, lost and alone I am here for you. In a world where the closest people in your life don’t even notice you are hurting, or watch quietly from the sidelines while your life is falling apart, I promise there are people out there who will be on the other side of what you need. Sometimes it’s a stranger who will walk a stretch of life beside you when everyone else disappears. Sometimes it is a fellow blogger who will offer compassion and support when no one else lifts a phone to call. There is help for you and I can tell you first hand I have found it in the most unexpected places. We are meant to be a support to one another so take a chance and reach out to someone. And if you need support, I am here . Don’t give up.
Sometimes in our lives, the unexpected happens. We wake up thinking that today will be like every other day. Then we are shaken to our core. We are attacked from behind in a way we never saw coming when we first opened our eyes that unsuspecting morning. Where do we go when there is no place to run? Who do we go to when there is no one around? When the ground feels shaky underneath our feet, where can we stand to feel safe again?
We all run into stormy seasons when the rain comes and there is no sun in sight. I am here to remind you that when you feel like you will never make it through you’re toughest day, you will. You are an overcomer. When you have faith the size of a mustard seed you can move mountains. You have been prepared to face that time when your faith is all you have and it will get you to the other side of whatever your obstacle is. Be still and wait for it to pass. Stand tall and let the violent winds just pass on through. You can do this. You are never alone.
There are so many people I know who are suffering in silence somewhere. Life can be so good but there are times when we stand firm and out of nowhere we are brought down with an unexpected blow. People need people. When we are the ones lucky enough to be standing, we need to offer our strength to the ones who have fallen down. Our strength and our love can hold someone up until they stop shaking long enough to stand on their own.
Reach out to someone in need today. Send them a message, offer a prayer, give them a call. Your time and attention can be all they need to get them through a difficult day. No one is too busy for a 2 minute text or a reassuring hug. Be the help someone needs today.
Sometimes I forget where I end and where my kids begin. It is both beautiful and tragic the connection between a mother and a child. Try as I may to disconnect, nights like this it seems nearly impossible. There is a very fine line between being a nagging parent and encouraging independence. I don’t want to spend useless hours worrying about my kids but when they give me reason to worry what choice do I have? I don’t want to stay in their business but when they are slacking in their responsibilities how do I turn my back? With each grouping of years comes a new set of challenges and the teenage years are the most difficult for me. It’s hard to find the sweet spot when someone toggles between striving to be an adult yet acting like an irresponsible child. I pray these nights of worry and insomnia will eventually become a thing of the past but that feeling deep inside my stomach that goes hand in hand with a mother’s intuition is sometimes too painful to ignore. No one talks about the challenges of parenting. We are quick to brag about our kids straight A’s or the award they won in the pool or on the field but how comfortable are we admitting the things that scare us half to death? How often do we support one another when a kid makes a bad choice or neglects responsibilities or gets caught in a series of disappointing lies? How terrifying is it knowing we may have failed them? Who is there to help us survive the hard times, the times we feel we are doing a horrible job and all hope seems to be lost? Who will listen when our heart is pounding violently in our chest and the mind chatter in our head has us spinning out of control? Parenting is not easy especially when we are forced to do it with little or no support. Sure these years will pass but sometimes the days feel painfully long. Reach out and support a fellow parent today. I can only guess how much that could mean to someone struggling to do their best. I see you. I feel you. I understand.
I have said several times that I wish I had a tribe of friends who like to work out. I have a handful who like to go out and eat but God only knows how much I crave balance. I need it. Recently I connected with a group who was trying to form for the purpose of exercising. This week we met and went to Barre class today and Tuesday. I kept thinking…I sure do prefer my friends who like to sit and eat. Of course that is not really true. Barre class is just tough to get through and just saying the word makes my face crinkle up in an unflattering manner. The lesson here is to be very careful what you ask for. The other is, it really is possible to attract what you desire. Today I have the best of both world. I worked out and now I get to go out and eat. Baby steps right?
Move in day is over and done. I learned a very important lesson through the process of dropping my daughter off at college. It’s really simple but something that may not register until you experience it yourself. Don’t tell people how to feel. In a world where we think we have the right to tell people how to act and what to believe, it is even more dangerous to tell them how they should feel. If someone is sad or hurting, be supportive. Even if you don’t get it or you think someone’s reaction is a big time overreaction, just give them a verbal hug. We all react to everything that happens in our own individual way and some of us are tougher than others depending on what it is we are trying to get through. Let people hurt, cry or grieve and just be there to give an encouraging word. We all have the best of intentions but sometimes we think too little before we speak. This is a reminder to encourage, lend a hand, lift someone up. We could use so much more of that in these trying times where we are all just fighting hard to get by and survive. I am having a difficult time right now. I cried in the grocery store today when I almost picked up that fourth piece of corn. I cried at the dinner table last night when I stared across at the empty chair. My daughter is gone from my nest and I am excited for her but I am sad for myself. And you know what? It’s okay to be sad. It is normal to grieve. Time will heal my wounds and I will get used to her being away but for right now I will give myself a break. Just breathe. Today I will just start with that.
Shout out to anyone on the verge of a panic attack. Hugs and love to each one of you fighting your way through depression each and everyday. Empathy to the parents who worry about your kids with each tick of the clock and struggle with the fear that you haven’t been enough. Support to the parents who know the pain of watching kids who struggle in school and the fight and dedication it takes to battle a system that is lose-lose. Love to those who feel hopeless, alone and broken hearted. My hearts broken too. I have to calm myself down several times a day and have the courage to crawl away from the edge of the cliff. I too worry and question if my parenting has damaged my kids. I wonder if I have done enough, loved enough, if I am enough. You are not alone. Sometimes we fixate too hard on our differences and we miss the chance to make real connections on a level where we are very much the same. This is me reaching out to say I see you. I know you’re there. I hear your cries for help and the pounding of your heart underneath your fancy clothes. I feel your loneliness when I see that look of desperation in your eyes. I am here. I see you. I just thought you should know.
What kind of people do you surround yourself with? I had a conversation with someone today. I explained I was running into the gym for a quick 20 minute workout. Her response was, why bother? The truth is we have cheerleaders in our lives and we have judges. We have people who lift us up and people who rip us down. We have people who encourage us and others who discourage us. Make sure your people are balanced. It takes all types to keep sane but it is imperative to have someone who is 100% behind you. We need that one person who will cheer for us when we are too tired or discouraged to cheer for ourselves. That one person who says yes you can when we tell ourselves, there’s no way, I just can’t. What percentage of people in your life are supportive? What percentage of people cheer you on? Focus on finding more of them.
A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal~~Steve Maraboli
When someone is having a rough time, find a way to understand.
When someone trusts you enough to vent, listen, don’t judge.
When someone is feeling stressed, offer your calm, not your opinions.
When someone is sinking in despair, offer words of hope.
When someone is down, don’t kick them again, lend a hand and help them up.
When someone feels the world is out to get them, be the one has their back.
Kindness and compassion can make such a difference in someone’s life. Be the difference they need today.