The Contradiction in Mixed Messages

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One thing I learned in the public school system is that rules and laws cannot apply to some and not to all. Rules and standards of behavior must be consistently followed by everyone or the lines between what someone thinks is wrong or right completely fades away. Rules and laws are for our protection. We don’t get to dismiss them because they hurt our feelings or tug at our heartstrings. The world is filled with so much gray area that there is very little black and white. It’s no wonder that people have become so confused in their thinking and that so much chaos has showed itself the last few years. People need consistency and clarity as well as consequences for behavior and not a pass because of who you are or what position you hold. The mixed messages and double standards are tainting the thinking of many especially our youth and as a parent I find this near impossible to overcome. I feel sad that I have been forced to take my kid out of school so that what I have tried to teach him in our home is not undermined at school or out in the world. It is a tough balance trying to reach a place where our children develop sound thinking. How are we supposed to get them there when everywhere they look there is contradiction? Shoutout to the parents that keep fighting the good fight. You have a responsibility that goes beyond what you may never even comprehend. We can’t give up. Our children deserve better.

Just Imagine

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Have you ever felt really strong about something but didn’t exactly know why? I helped my son with some writing assignments this weekend and felt myself thinking about how angry the assignment made me feel. There I was, walking out in nature this morning completely missing out on the serenity because I was knee deep in my own mad. Why did he have to write essays making connections between his assigned reading and another book? Why did they he to explore the connection of the book to to his own life and the world? Why was I feeling so darn mad?

Tonight I went for another walk. I noticed two stars parallel in the sky. I couldn’t help but think that was my own marriage. My husband was one star and I was the other but we seemed worlds apart. The bills, the struggles with the kids, stress, jobs, chores, emails all made us feel further and further apart. Like it or not, that stuff gets in between and before you know it you are trying your best to fight your way back.

I got it then. My anger and my overreaction to a silly assignment became visibly clear. I am an over thinker. I have lost the art of reading to read or walking to just enjoy walking. I analyze my steps or I replay conversations searching for something deeper or something maybe that should have been different. My brain has been trained to find meaning in a world that sometimes doesn’t really require any. My brain can no longer shut itself off or find quiet in the softness of my shoes as they hit the pavement. I cannot even look at the stars without thinking something profound. Perhaps we should stop requiring our kids to think more and allow them to just be more. Imagine just reading a book to enjoy the escape from real life. Imagine taking a walk without setting a goal to reach 10,000 steps. Imagine your mind not being the roadblock to pure happiness and utter enjoyment. Imagine a few moments of no thinking and total mindfulness lost in the beauty of the forest or in the words of a book. Imagine looking up and enjoying the beauty of the stars with no thoughts running through your head. Imagine a world with less thinking required and more being. Imagine!

A Clean Sweep

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There are times in my life when it is necessary to clean the clutter. Clutter makes my skin crawl and my pulse race. When I am in the middle of a mess, my chest tightens and my breathing is labored. Last night I made a huge decision to clear it out. For me, this world is a mess. The human experiment is a mess. Facebook is a mess. Media is a mess. Clutter comes in many forms. It comes in thoughts, people, objects. Clutter for me is hostility, negativity, confrontation, arrogance, and anything else that makes me break out in that dreaded, unwanted sweat. The truth is, it is my responsibility to say no to the things that make my heart hurt and yes to the ones that feel right with my soul. Today is a beautiful day for me. It looks and feels very different from several days that came before. We have to declutter our minds, our bodies, and our heart so we can hear that tiny voice inside that often gets drown out by all the noise. Everyone has the right to live in peace. Sometimes it’s necessary to create that peaceful space and to build a fence around it to keep it sacred and to keep yourself safe. 

It Does Pass

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Just as I imagined, what seemed like the tragic end of the world yesterday is no big deal today.

  This too shall pass. 

These are the words I repeat to myself as a reminder that the present moment will be gone a flash. Sometimes you have to just breathe and remember that life is a constant spiral of change. Even when you want it to stay the same, like it or not, that won’t be the case. Be willing to let go of what you cannot change or it will take control. The more focus you put on it, the bigger it will become until it nearly panics you to death. Relax. Be grateful when everything is going great and hang on while your world seems to be crumbling. It’s not, it just feels that way and we trick ourselves into believing something that just isn’t true. Tomorrow will not be like today and we cannot be sure today will be anything like tomorrow. Take comfort in knowing that change will carry you to a new place. Embrace it, look forward to it and don’t be afraid. Whatever is bothering you right now will seem insignificant in a short period of time. Calm down and breathe. 

This too shall pass.

One Less Problem Maybe

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I never realized how difficult we could make our own lives until the other day. It’s a silly story really but one I bet many can identify with. 

I joined a new gym last week and I decided I wanted to go to the yoga class on Friday morning. I woke up feeling pretty tired. It was chilly and gloomy which inspired me to stay at home. I went back and forth debating should I stay or should I go, probably why someone wrote a song about that in the first place. After 2 hours, I finally made up my mind to go. When I got there the entire room was packed. I realized that I was probably the only one who faced the dilemma of whether or not to show up and I turned a situation into a problem that didn’t need to be that way. What a waste of time and how silly. 

My lesson is simple. Stop thinking about everything so much and just get up and do it. I hope this motivates someone today. I think we do this more than we know. We need to find a way to stop our random thoughts from causing us unnecessary anxiety. We don’t have time for that and let’s face it, there are enough disconcerting problems in the world without creating our own.

There is Always a Solution

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For every problem, there has got to be a solution. Everything has an opposite. I keep reminding myself of this on a daily basis. My insomnia has been unbearable lately but I have learned to put it to good use. I keep repeating this over and over until it starts to sink in. Every problem has a solution.

It’s so easy to get caught up overly obsessing about the problems we have. I thought though, what if I flip it around and focus only on solutions? At least that direction of thinking will lead me to someplace empowering and hopeful. I am going to replace each problem with a solution until I reach the point of no return. So that is my message today. There is hope. There is a solution.

Step Into the Light

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One thing I know for sure is that you can sit back and let things happen while feeling your life is completely out of control or you can come up with an action plan and feel like there is hope for change. It’s easy to get discouraged and believe you have exhausted every avenue when it comes to moving forward. The mind can work for or against you and it is up to your own common sense to determine what is truth and what is a lie. There is always hope. There is always something else to do or something else to try. Don’t ever let yourself believe anything else. Surviving in a world that lacks hope is a very dark place. Step into the light. You are the light. All the answers you need are within yourself.