When there is a tragedy such as the one in Oregon, most of us feel a looming sense of sadness. It is a time the world needs to come together to mourn and heal. This one really hit home with me. Maybe it’s because I know my daughter will be in college after next year. Maybe it’s just because I am a mom and the mere thought of losing one of my babies to something so senseless and unnecessary brings me to my knees as my head tries to find an answer to the question, how could anyone do something like this? I have such a deep respect for all lives. I couldn’t even fathom the idea of personally making a choice to end someone else’s. My heart hurts tonight for the hate and the anger and the violence that are infecting the hearts and minds of so many. There is so much kindness in the world but there is also hatred and vengeance and a lack of self control that allows someone to shoot innocent people down without batting an eyelash. There are people who can saw the heads off of human beings because their religious beliefs are different from their own. It is hard for me to allow myself to go to this place and admit their are people who live without a heart. There are those who lack understanding and compassion and it’s like missing the last piece to a 2000 piece puzzle. No one knows where it went or why it isn’t there, it’s just gone and that’s the way it’s going to be. What is the answer then? To argue over gun rights and point fingers back and forth while people’s hearts are being torn out from the pain of learning one of those people shot today was their daughter, son, wife, mother, father? Can we overturn this darkness by loving the hate right out of people? Is this a cry out to others because of a lack of love and attention they have in their own lives? Is this the only way they feel anyone will notice they even exist? Is it possible people are born with the incapacity to love, respect and sympathize with a fellow human being? What could happen that is so horrific that someone could mindlessly take the life of another innocent soul? My heart is so heavy tonight. It feels like it is ripping right out of my chest. Be better today than you were yesterday. Be kinder and gentler and send more love out into the world than ever before. Let go of anger. Take care of your own crap and don’t dump it onto other people. If you must be angry, keep it to yourself and don’t allow yourself to inflict your pain onto anyone else. Be accountable for who you are and what you contribute to the world. Every word, every action and every thought makes this world better or bitter. Choose wisely because your decision matters.
As I dropped my son off at school today, I said a little prayer that all the hours he put into studying pays off when he takes his tests later in the day. As I was pulling away I thought of all the tragedies that have happened over the last few years. Who would ever think when you drop off your kid at school that some maniac could show up to harm them? Why our kids? Why the precious souls who we protect and nurture from the time they are just a tiny pea inside our growing bodies? I get so crazy about all the stress and grades and the work that never seems to end but I can’t help but ask myself, does any of it even matter? Do I put so much emphasis and attention on the things that really don’t matter that I am missing my opportunity to take advantage of the things that should? Is it okay for our lives to be cell phones and school work and never take the time for laughter, sharing and just spending time together? Life is so short and each day is so unexpected. You never know what is coming from one minute to the next and that is our wake up call to use our time in the most valuable way. Hug your babies when they leave for school today. Hug your spouse, call your mom and take the time to look at them and appreciate them like you will never see them again. See them now, today while you still can.