Sometimes Being Mom Hurts 

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This is the last unfortunate story I will share about my week. I will start by saying every day is a new day and every week, a new week. What does not completely destroy us will have to make us stronger. Life gives us no other choice.

After getting some difficult news earlier in the week, I pulled myself together to go to Kayleigh’s volleyball game. That’s what parents do, no matter what they are going through on the inside, they stay strong and steady on the outside. The season is practically over and I have seen my daughter play in one game. I could see the pain on her face as she sat on that bench. She was the only girl not subbed in the entire game. Her posture said it all, defeat. She lost so much more than just the game that horrible night. I could see her fighting back the tears as I tried my best to hide my own. I can’t for the life of me figure out why this coach has been so unkind. I am so honest when it comes to my kids strengths and weaknesses and she really is just as good as any other girl on the team. She has given up so many hours of her time, sometimes going to three games a week and forced to sit there while freshman, and varsity play as well. Did I mention staying up until one in the morning to do the work she was not allowed to do at the game? Has it been worth it? Nope. Not to sit on the bench game after game trying her best to high five her teammates and put on a happy face.

She came to us after the game and told us she wanted to quit. I know there are some parents out there that are firm believers, if you start something, you should finish it. I used to feel that way too. As the years have gone by, I realize how important it is to make sure the activities and people around her build her self esteem, not rip it away. There comes a time when you say, this isn’t fair and you do deserve better, your time is important, you’re important. There comes a point when you don’t allow someone to take away what isn’t theirs to take. Shame on anyone who would purposely do this to any child. Sometimes I think people working in any capacity with kids need a thorough mental exam before we entrust them with the most precious thing in our little world. 

Volleyball meant so much to her. She was so excited to get back on the court and I was thrilled to see her follow her heart and do what she really loves. Such a shame. Needless to say, she went to practice the next day and told her coach exactly how she felt and what did her coach say? I understand you not wanting to be on the team anymore, finalizing the decision instead of having a conversation. Once again, she walks away from another sport, another coach who clearly sends the message, I don’t believe in you. You are not enough. What can I say except my heart still hurts. Two difficult lessons in the span of a week and another part of my heart broke watching her in pain. The toughest job in the world is being a mom. I am more than her mom. I am her advocate, her cheering squad, her shoulder to lean on and the one person in the world who will always be here for her, believing in her. I pray loving her will be enough. 

 

Do Something Different

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When something’s not working, do something different.

This is the third volleyball game in a roll that this coach is insistent on putting the same 6 girls in the game. Week after week, they make careless mistakes and lose the game. There are 6 other girls who might play really well if given the chance but some people never learn. They continue to make the same mistake over and over. Guess what? They get the same result over and over. Looks like we are going to lose another game.

Why I Despise Sports

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Anyone who has the endurance and patience to continue to follow my posts knows, without a doubt, that I am constantly questioning and reevaluating my own life. Is it any surprise that I do that when it comes to everything else as well? At what point does one say, this is ridiculous and make the changes to live a more sensible life? Ever?

I despise sports. Not the sports themselves but the crap you have to deal with because of the people who run them. I’ll let you decide.

My daughter joined the volleyball team late. She was told she had to make up every day of conditioning before she would be allowed to play. She finished last week and came home happy and high-fiving everyone. We aren’t talking about a few laps around the track. We are talking 1000 push-ups, 1000 sit-ups, 1000 pop ups, suicides and then some more. Is strength and conditioning going to make her a better volleyball player? No, playing volleyball and practicing would but she sat on the bench like a trooper, cheering on her teammates since games started in early August. She has already had 2 games this week. Guess what? She still hasn’t played. Even though she worked to get everything completed, still they won’t put her in a game? What kind of message does that send to an athlete, especially a teenager? If that isn’t bad enough, these kids leave school around 3:00 on the bus. They must stay and sit through freshman, JV and varsity games and ready for this one? They are not allowed to do any school work while they wait. Two nights in a row she has left for school and walked in the door at 9:30 at night. She has 3 games this week and did I mention they don’t stop to get these kids food?So, by the time she actually gets to her homework, it is 10:00 at night. She was up until 1:00 in the morning trying to get it all done.

Someone please tell me when our priorities got so screwed up? When did sports take priority over schoolwork and why the hell doesn’t anyone challenge this? Here’s an even better question, who the hell do these coaches think they are that they can even make a rule as ridiculous as this one? Where are the parents? Why is nothing being done? What if your kid has a huge test the next day? You can’t even pick them up from the game, they have to wait until everyone’s done.

The answer is, we live in a world where people kiss ass to get what they want for themselves. What’s worse, they do it at any cost. They are afraid to make waves because they know all too well, they might face retribution. And no one wants to see their kid take the brunt of the consequence of challenging or questioning a coach. People are weak and they are turning their heads away from the things that really matter. Someone please explain this to me. Am I blowing this way put of proportion or do you see a problem too?