This site is about everything from my philosophy on life to the little things that make me laugh. IIt is about living, and breathing, and pausing long enough to take it all in. I hope it makes you laugh, sometimes makes you cry, but always makes you want to come back for another visit. It is your words, and your likes that inspire me to keep writing. And it is through my writing that you have a very large window to my soul. Relax awhile, read, and enjoy!
I remember the first time I started listening to Wayne Dyer and I heard the question about squeezing the orange. The question was simple. When you squeeze an orange, what do you get out of it? Silly I thought. Everyone knows the answer is orange juice. Only it wasn’t that simple at all. Often I have asked myself this same question. Kim, if I give you a squeeze what will come out? I shudder to think of the answer. The truth hurts sometimes but is necessary to keep in tune with what is going on in the inside. I know all too well when it’s ugly in there because no matter what I do to make myself look good, when I look in the mirror the outside looks ugly too. Add that to the negativity coming at me from every direction and what I end up with ain’t that pretty. My reflection in the mirror is directly connected to how I fell on the inside. I can say people make me this way or that but the truth is you cant get apple juice from a banana. I know I can’t blame anyone else for is what is already eating me away on the inside. I know I am sour but the question is, how can change the contents? How can I dump this crap out and start all over so who I really am can live inside again?
Today, I challenge you to answer this? If I gave you a squeeze, what would come out?
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” ~Wayne Dyer
It has taken me years of suffering and struggling to finally embrace and understand the power in this simple quote. The result is amazing and this is only day 2 of putting this theory into practice.
For years, I have been a fixer. If there was a problem then gosh darn it, I would search for a solution. That searching nearly destroyed me. It’s a hard reality to face that I have very little control in anything going on around me. I have a choice to get sucked into the anxiety and hopelessness of a situation that is uncomfortable or I could simply manipulate my mind to see the entire situation a different way. I made that decision yesterday and although I am a little apprehensive, I am much less anxious and attached to results. When I let go of my need for a particular result or path to solution, I let go of the grip it had on me. I am breathing a little lighter today and reacting with much less panic. It’s only the beginning. As Dr. Seuss so eloquently put it,
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…
Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.
This is a really big challenge for me especially as a parent. Everyone has a vision or an idea of who we should be but once we step outside of that box, others are not afraid to try and stuff us back in. The truth is, we have the right to make our own decisions and walk in the direction we choose. Life is like creating a beautiful painting and only the person holding the brush understands what he is trying to create. Until it is finished, it is a bunch of colored lines on a bare page but when it is finished, it is unique and amazing. I say let them paint and watch what happens. Their vision may be very different from our own vision but it is just as beautiful in the end.
Conflict cannot survive without your participation ~ Wayne Dyer
Are you the kind of person who engages in conflict? A few years ago, I would have said I was most definitely a fighter but the older I get, the more I see conflict as a complete waste of time. I have learned to pick my battles. They are few and far between and slowly but surely, I am learning to zip my lip. I don’t have to have the last word and I don’t have the need to prove I’m right. Most of the time it comes down to perception. It’s okay to have different opinions. Conflict doesn’t solve a single thing. It never has and it never will. I know if I don’t want to play the conflict game then I have the choice to sit it out. It always comes down to the choices we make. Conflict or no conflict? It’s up to you.
By now, I guess that everyone has heard that Wayne Dyer has passed away. I have learned so many lessons from him but one in particular has changed my entire perspective of why I react the way I do to other people.
When you squeeze an orange, you’ll always get orange juice to come out. What comes out is what’s inside. The same logic applies to you: when someone squeezes you, puts pressure on you, or says something unflattering or critical, and out of you comes anger, hatred, bitterness, tension, depression, or anxiety, that is what’s inside. If love and joy are what you want to give and receive, change your life by changing what’s inside- Wayne Dyer
I used to blame other people for bringing the worst out in me and I guess in a sense that’s true. But what was not clear, was that person was not responsible for what I thought they pulled out of me. They were just the squeezer and the anger or the reaction was already in there. I could never disconnect the two. I always thought they were one and the same.
It’s hard to admit who we are sometimes or even harder to stand face to face with who we’ve become. When we do though, when we find the courage to really look, we discover there is something beautiful about each and everyone of us. It’s just hidden underneath all those emotions that we portray through our actions, words and behaviors. We are not those things. They do not define us. We are so much more than that, so much better. Every day is another chance to be who you really are, the gently, serving, loving spirit who is there just waiting to reconnect. That is when you start to feel alive. That is when you discover that your purpose is to love, heal and enjoy this life that we are blessed to discover. Let everyday bring you closer to that place. It is there where you will find true peace and where the arms of happiness will forever embrace you.
Do you have a special mantra you use for words of encouragement? What is it?
One day I was in yoga going through a guided meditation for relaxation. I really believed I was completely relaxed until the yoga teacher would suggest something like softening your eyebrows. I realized even though I thought I was relaxed, my body was still tense. It was necessary to focus on each individual part to relax completely. Sometimes the whole is a slight misrepresentation of the parts. That is the day I realized how important it was to set an intention and to check in with myself throughout the day to assure I was meeting my own personal goal. Wayne Dyer suggested a mantra recently that I have started to practice recently. It goes something like this, Everywhere I go, I am surrounded by peace. Inner peace is such an important thing to me. Sometimes though, I don’t realize I am putting out thoughts and behaviors that will bring me the exact opposite and if I achieve that peace and carry that with me while I am putting out that intention, the odds are my day has a favorable chance of leaning that way. So tell me, what is your mantra today?
Don’t equate your self-worth with how well you do things in life. You aren’t what you do. If you are what you do, then when you don’t … you aren’t.
I repeat this quote to myself every time I allow someone to define and judge me for what I do or don’t do. I am so much more than my college degree. I am more than a mom, a wife, a daughter, my position or lack of. I am a human being, unique and beautiful despite what others may choose to see. I have value. I am amazing for who I am on the inside, the outside and everything in between. I am worthy. I am amazing for who I am not for what I do.