It started off innocently enough. I walk 5 miles a day and today I just wanted to change it up so I decided to go to the mall for a change of scenery. There was a young girl working a kiosk and she called me over to sample a facial cream. What do you do she asked? When I told her I was a stay at home mom she asked how old my kids were. When I mentioned my youngest was 15, she replied “Oh, you’re lazy.”
For years I’ve felt myself cringe after that simple question. What do you do? As if the job I hold gives any indication of who I am. People don’t seem to care about that these days. They don’t care what kind of heart you have or the amount of you you’ve willingly sacrificed to have some semblance of a good marriage and family. I don’t judge other people or how they live their lives and I would appreciate it if people would keep their opinions to themselves. What kind of world have we turned into that we feel it’s okay to not only insult and judge a total stranger, but one we are trying to get to buy our product? It makes me sad to be around people. I have a kind heart and the best of intentions but there are some mean spirited people out there that think their behavior is acceptable while they stand there and size me up and judge me by what I do for an occupation. I feel like printing a a t-shirt that reads,
I do nothing.
I am nothing.
Then we can skip the conversation and get on with getting on. The truth is I never ask that question because I just don’t care. Where you work is where you work period. I don’t think any one person has more value than another because of what job they choose. What I do is my business and to that clueless girl selling lotion in the mall, my job is to do me and I will have the respect and humility to let you do you. I am really feeling discouraged today but I will bounce back. Even when I mind my own business and keep to myself, I feel accosted by the mean-spiritedness of others. I’ve finally had enough. We live in a world of mean, opinionated bullies who will never learn the art of shutting their mouths because they feel it is their right to bulldoze anyone and everyone. I’m out. I’m done. Not my game, not my kind of people. I will not allow people like this into my life. Not on a daily basis, not on social media, no place where I am ever again. I will not stay silent to be peaceful anymore. Sometimes people need to be put in their place and unfortunately, they are the same people that never are.
Just be kind and if you can’t manage that, do us all a favor and just be quiet.
I bought expensive shampoo because I am having some serious hair issues. Yesterday I squeezed too much out of a bottle that is already almost empty.
Our time is like that too.
We only have so much of it and when we waste a chunk of it carelessly, we can’t open up our lives and pour that time back in. It’s easy to think we are spending our time on something meaningful and important. We long to change the world and leave our mark long after we’re gone. The thing is, how do we know what is important to the heart and what feeds our need for power within? I know my heart longs for connection. Our actions and our words and our crusade to change the world is breaking down those connections a little more everyday. We are the sum of our parts and when some of our parts are broken off because of our own actions, we can never be whole. Just something to think about today.
I was driving my son to school this morning and hearing the few words he managed to mutter through his mouth caught me by surprise.
“Can’t you talk about something I do that’s good?”
Silence. That was my reaction. He was tossing my own sermon right back into my face and I sat there engulfed by my own guilt. I’ve felt that same way before. I do so many things right so why do the people I love point out the few things I do wrong? When I’ve needed support, I too have received tough love and criticism. There’s nothing worse when you’re already down than someone trying to keep you there.
This is a reminder to everyone including myself that our words come with consequence. We have to pick and choose words that inspire others and lift them up. We have to consciously be aware whether we are focusing on someone’s positive or dwelling on their negative. Don’t we all need more conversations about how awesome we are and how much we already do that’s worth mentioning? Be a light and use your words to make someone shine today. Focus on the positive and watch someone grow right before your eyes. Will you join me?
Words can be twisted into any shape. Promises can be made to lull the heart and seduce the soul. In the final analysis, words mean nothing. They are labels we give things in an effort to wrap our puny little brains around their underlying natures, when ninety-nine percent of the time the totality of the reality is an entirely different beast. The wisest man is the silent one. Examine his actions. Judge him by them.
Karen Marie Moning
I used to think that certain triggers bring out the worst in some people. The truth is people show their true colors over time. Haters gonna hate, lovers gonna love, peace keepers gonna keep the peace. When I see some of the horrible comments people make and the all too willing judgements they are willing to pass, it’s hard to deny that there is an ugliness that exists in these difficult times. People are obsessed with complaining and demeaning and feel its their personal responsibility to be everyone’s judge and jury. Instead of getting angry, I do my best to use this realization to be a better person. We have to stop this negativity toward one another and find a way to rise above our own smallness and grow people tall. We are not in this world to make others look small and we certainly don’t appear any bigger cutting someone else down to size. As we go through this day, pay attention to how many times your thoughts lead to judgement. Count how many times you silently wish someone well. You may just be surprised at the quality and quantity of each thought. Awareness is the key to making significant change, so today just be aware.
I was reminded today how hard it is to keep myself in check. Often times, I have the best intentions. I look forward to the weekend or getting out to do something with family but sometimes the best intentions fall by the wayside. I was in a great mood yesterday. Sometimes I am able to step away from all the stress and just breathe again. That was my plan for the last two days. Unfortunately I absorb all that is around me and if I don’t find a way to reach that place of balance, I crumble. After hours of spending time around someone completely disengaged followed by another who dumps his responsibilities onto everybody else, I slowly deflate. The negative energy just consumes me until I become it myself. So my good mood has slowly come to a close. It’s easy to say that other people aren’t responsible for your happiness but I argue that the people around me are often responsible for my unhappiness. There are some people in our lives that we cannot just dismiss or remove. We can’t delete them like they are some random Facebook friend but at the same time we cannot allow them to destroy our happiness or inner peace. I am not looking for sympathy or having a pity party. I am writing this post as a reminder that who we are affects everyone around us. Our mood, our lack of concern, our negligence, our bad attitude, our words and especially our actions are equally if not more powerful than any positive we think we put off. Just ask yourself today, what is the energy I am bringing to this place? How am I affecting the people around me? It’s the only way to finally understand just how much we are all connected.
I love to evolve. Maybe even to the point that it’s painful. Seeing so many insults being flung among people lately, I have finally recognized how important it is to respond positively and respectfully. I’m not one to think before I speak. In fact, I am honest to the core and sometimes that can be extremely hurtful to anyone on the receiving end of my truth telling. But tonight, I have committed to a new gentleness in my speaking. I can choose to be critical or I can choose to be quiet. I can choose to make someone feel bad or I can say something that will make them smile. Don’t we all need to feel good these days? Don’t we want the people who make us feel special and tell us we do something right around us more than someone who always makes us feel like everything we do is wrong? Don’t we need to hear, of course you can rather than I don’t think you can? I did it tonight. I finally made the conscious choice to keep my criticism to myself. We need to give more compliments, more pats on the back and use more words to make someone smile. We can make little changes than can mean the world to the people we interact with. Let’s hope I can carry it through to day two.