Is It Ever Your Fault?

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There is nothing worse than someone wandering around playing the victim role. All week long I wash tons of loads of clothes. I asked both of my kids several times to go into the laundry room and put away their clothes. By the time the weekend rolled around, my husband got sick of them not listening and took their clothes upstairs to put away. I woke up to my daughter coming in and out of my room complaining that she couldn’t find any of her clothes. Do I feel bad? Maybe for myself because I had to wake up earlier than I needed to but I am thinking next time they don’t listen, I should bag the clothes up and hide them someplace. The bottom line is if she would have taken her own clothes upstairs and put them away like she was asked, we wouldn’t be having this problem but instead we are the bad guys, and she is inconvenienced.

 Don’t be a victim. Take care of your own responsibilities and don’t blame everyone else for your irresponsibility. It only makes you look bad. And when someone is trying to be helpful, try some gratitude. It goes a longer way than resentment and blame. Sometimes being a parent is a thankless endeavor. It seems to me that the people who do the least and rely on everyone to do more play the victim best.

14 thoughts on “Is It Ever Your Fault?”

  2. I’m with Tony on this. I take the blame for everything, whether I did anything wrong or not. It gets tiring. The kids will learn eventually, and hopefully it won’t be the hard way when they’re out on their own.

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  4. the-reluctant-parent

    I know exactly what you mean about people playing the victim. the teenager is often victim to his intentionally poor memory regarding taking the trash and recycle out to the curb on Wednesday night because we never know what time those trucks are going to be there on Thursday morning. We’ve suggested over and over that one way to cope with not wanting to get up early Thursday is to just do it Wednesday night. This suggestion floats from an axon to a dendrite, circles the neuron that connects the two and then falls into the vastness of the empty space that seemingly takes up most of the interior of his skull.

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  5. Hmmm, what if they asked about their clothes and the answer was “In the dirty clothes hamper I suppose. They are being punished because they wouldn’t put themselves away. I may let them get out next week. Now, if you want to let the off the hook, you can put them in the washer and dryer and help them put themselves away.” Of course, that won’t happen. When Danny and I married, I suggested that the kids do their own laundry and oddly enough, they seemed to prefer it. The other day, we argued like children about who does what and he said he does the laundry and I responded that just because he put them in the dryer doesn’t mean he did the laundry. His answer, “Well, I used to do all of our laundry until someone told me to let the kids do their own laundry.” Poor baby.

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      • I think our kids liked doing their own laundry because they would always have the outfit they wanted to wear clean but I have noticed that they never picked up my habit of hanging up clothes straight out of the dryer and folding clothes and putting them away after they come out of the dryer. When I go to their homes, I often find clothes piled in a chair unfolded. I went to their aunt’s house once and honestly there were clean clothes piled up to fill have a room. It was frightening. They spend a lot of time with her so I guess that’s where they get it. I don’t iron clothes any longer so that is what motivates me.

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