Tomorrow is Another Day

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It’s one of those nights I feel trapped. I just want to tear out of this body and run far, far away. There are moments I need to escape. The thoughts, the depression, the anxiety, all of it, I Just need to step outside myself and get some fresh air. Wishing for something impossible will only lead to more frustration. I’m not used to being behind and constantly running to catch up. I’ve always been the type of person who had everything and more done well in advance. Parenting a child who is always behind the ace ball is continuously challenging. The amount of responsibility I feel is crushing me, one bone at a time. If my anxiety had a voice, the sound would be deafening. There is that line in the sand between where our kids end and where we begin and unfortunately the wind has blown that line away. I do my best to help him anyway I can with school but I am a human being who needs a break. Everytime I start to breathe, there is another assignment missing or a test to re- do. I have a full time job trying to stay on top of it all and if I take a moment to step away… more work! More missing papers. More projects and papers to write. I didn’t ask for a child who would struggle in school. I didn’t ask for this to become our whole lives. But what do I do? Give up on him? Do I not do my part like the ones who turn their cheek at school even when they know he is entitled to these accommodations? I’m sorry. I’m venting but if I keep it inside it will eat me alive. I can do this. I’ve got my back and I am a sure thing. I just need a little sleep and a new day.

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22 thoughts on “Tomorrow is Another Day

  1. It sounds like you need a new perspective, but I’m not sure of one that will help. Perhaps can you turn to the school with your frustrations and ask for assistance? Of course you can’t give up, and I’m sure you won’t, but there has to be help out there. At least I hope there is.

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    • I have tried every avenue for help. The school just will not follow his accommodations and they are trying to accuse me of attacking teachers when I call them out. I have bedded for their help and we meet and meet and all that happens is a conversation and promises with no follow through. It’s so hard to believe 😦

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  2. the-reluctant-parent

    You’re doing a hell of a lot more for your child than a lot of parents do for their kids.

    Whenever the pressure would get too great or I would feel that I couldn’t handle anymore, I always remember what my mom said “Tomorrow is a new day” My mom always has so much wisdom about matters and I hope that, when the time comes and the kids need it, that’ll I’ll be able to provide that same sort of inspiration.

    hugs.

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  3. I know exactly how you feel with wanting to escape yourself, even for a little while. Although it is tough constantly having to monitor someone’s schooling and work, it is sometimes necessary and will definitely be helpful in the long run. I have a feeling that it won’t always be this way, and if I’m wrong, then I’d certainly say that it will at least get easier – even if it’s just looking at it all from a new perspective.

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  4. What grade is he in? My son went to the local brick-and-mortar high school his freshman year. He failed a history and an English class. He simply did not do the home assignments. He did not keep track of his assignments, neither he nor we had any idea of the due dates. I could not help because I had no idea what’s assigned or when things are due. The teachers did not have any websites and did not respond to emails very well. Nor they cared to call the parents when something was missing – they just put an “F” in the report card and call their job done. We learned about the missing work after he received the report card at the end of the term, when the teachers were already gone for assignments.

    To get a better handle on his work, we registered him at the online public school. In Oregon it’s called ORVA – it’s a part of k12.com network of schools all over the U.S. You can visit k12.com website to find out what they’re called in your state. It’s a public school funded by the state and a good alternative for kids who cannot attend a regular school for any reason. There is another online school, but we picked ORVA.

    The benefit is that everything is online and they give parents full access to academic progress. I get copies of all my son’s communications with the teachers. I see his grades real-time online. I know exactly which assignments are due and when. Most teachers keep the assignments open untill the end of the term. My son still misses the deadlines, but, with our help, he manages to catch up by the end of the term.

    Did you mention ADD? Doesn’t school make any accommodations for him?

    Another practical advice. My son uses Google Docs to write his essays and shares the document with me. I can see real time what he is typing, leave comments, suggestions, etc., or even edit the document myself (although I am not supposed to do that, of course). It makes helping with assignments a bit easier.

    Good luck! It’s tough and there is not much support or help to expect from anywhere. All these “specialists” can only do so much and then they go home from work whereas you sleep with your problems.

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    • Thank you so much for the information. He is in 8th grade and does have a 504 but they are not following the accommodations. I have been fighting to get them to do it but the only thing it got me is high blood pressure and threats from the assistant principal. I appreciate the suggestions! Sounds like you know my pain well

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      • The online school may be an option, but it does require time commitment and supervision from a parent. It also limits the social life which is not an issue for my son. It’s good for kids who need their own pace. Gifted kids can complete their stuff fast and have tons of time for other things rather than sitting through boring classes. Kids with learning problems can take their time on tests and assignments without the pressure of being compared to others. There is also a flexibility in the choice of curriculum. High school students can even get high school credits taking classes at a local community college and graduate from the high school with 2 years of college credits that can be transferred to many universities. I wish we knew this in the freshman year.

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      • Is your son passionate about anything? My son has a very specific interest. Here wants to be a computer network administrator. Not a programmer, not a web designer. He already knows that he is not interested to study computer sciences. He he’s has zero interest in analyzing literary characters and styles or finding elements of mythology in Rip Van Winkle. Making him write an essay on Shakespeare is worse than pulling teeth. Shall I blame him for that? The general ability to keep track of his stuff and complete things is a separate skill. But it is related to the level of interest in the subject. Our goal now is to get passing grades in high school and get him into the community college. I think, it’s OK if he doesn’t go to MIT or Stanford.

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      • I hear what you’re saying. It’s hard to do anything when you have no interest in it. Poetry killed us this year! Sounds like we have the same school. My son is crazy smart, he just can’t do school. You have certainly given me a lot to think about. I am supervising and teaching at home anyway so…

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