So it’s Mothers Day and I am stealing a few quiet minutes alone while everyone else is still asleep. I’m feeling tired today. All I wanted to do was sleep and now I can’t. I sat up last night and waited for my daughter to get home from prom. Then I listened to 5 silly giggly girls heating up frozen pizza and running up and down the stairs. I woke up early in sheer panic because my son has two important tests next week that he has to pass. I am thinking about all the things that need to get done and all the places the kids have to be.
Being a mom is non stop. It is an incessant worry and responsibility for those precious lives. There is only a physical separation of where they start and where I begin but I swear my mind is tied to them. As a mom I have had my heart broken like never before. I have felt pain watching them in pain that I may never be able to heal. I have worried so much that my heart feels like it pounds on the outside of my chest. I have felt so proud that my eyes well up with tears. There are so many emotions that come along with parenting and with enough time they can wreak havoc on the strongest of souls.
Sometimes I want a day off or a few minutes to breathe. I want a fleeting second of not feeling such an intense responsibility for them. Then I laugh to myself because there is no chance at all that could ever be possible. Being a mom is my biggest challenge but I wouldn’t change it for a single thing in the world.