Help Yourself


If there is one thing that is disconcerting to me, it this attitude that if my life is miserable, I want to try and make your life miserable too. This idea of payback, retribution, an eye for an eye only brings everyone harm. I believe a healthy, sane person would want to remove himself from unhealthy relationships or at least relationships that bring out this unhealthy, lifelong, consuming rage that destroys everyone in its path. I get that there are some relationships we can not walk away from, but other times, I think we secretly want to stay because there is a small, damaged part of us that feeds off the dysfunction.

I think feeling peace is so important. If you can not experience that in the presence of another then that relationship is toxic. If you are consumed with catching someone in a lie, manipulating their environment, or purposely trying to make their life as miserable as you feel, then that is a gigantic, red, flag that you are getting ready to crash and burn. People like that just do not belong together. It seems that it is the people who have relationships so out of their own control that try harder to control the people around them. They are bossy and demanding and want things exactly the way they think it should be at the exact second they desire it to be that way. They are sadly crying out for help and love and attention but the truth is so hard to understand. There is no one else in the world that can give them what they want and help them heal until they give up this need for revenge and stop holding onto the very thing that is destroying the very core of who they are. Only you can help yourself by letting go and wishing everyone a sense of peace and happiness. It is said that what you wish for others you wish for yourself. I tend to agree with that concept. If you carry anger, you attract it. If you carry peace in your heart, you attract that too.

The people who really need to understand these words would never recognize them. They would appear to be in a different language, completely incomprehensible. But, I do believe it is a worth a try. Maybe somehow, someway, these words will find their way to a set of eyes that really need to see them. I certainly hope so.

Remember, the only life you should control and manipulate is your own. If you are unhappy, angry, or miserable, ask yourself what decisions you make on a daily basis to keep yourself in that unhealthy place. Imagine if you put your time and energy into changing your mind, body and spirit to feel alive and inspired. There is a saying that I have grown to love. It goes something like this: Don’t put your key to happiness in someone else’s pocket. Important words to remember no doubt.

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