What happens when two people interpret love in entirely different ways? Maybe relationships fail in the misunderstanding of what love is to the other person. If we love in a way we think is love instead of loving someone a way he or she needs to be loved, someone is going to end up hurt. So what is love to you? How do you define it? What does loving you look like? Maybe that is the one question that we fail to ask that could be the breakthrough in every relationship. To me, love is gentle. It does not force its way. It is listening with the intent to understand and only offers advice when asked. It is a phone call asking are you okay and a heart that whispers, I am here for whatever it is you need. It doesn’t tear me down, it builds me up. It supports, encourages.
Don’t ever tell anyone they are difficult to love. We all want to love and be loved. We are all worthy of love. We all desire to hear what is right with us not what is wrong with us. Words mean something. They can rip someone apart or lift someone up. If your words are causing someone pain, pause and recognize they are not a reflection of love to the other person. Sometimes you may think someone is difficult to love but the truth is you never learned how to love them the way they need you to love. Instead of saying you are the problem, ask how can I be the solution? Sometimes you simply need to really hear what someone is asking of you. Sometimes it’s simpler than you could ever imagine. Loving someone is about the person you are loving as much as it is you who is doing the loving. Ask the question. Do it soon. What do you need from me? How can I love you better? Tell me what love looks like to you? Then and only then you might have a chance to get it right.
Imagine how beautiful our relationships could be if we stopped believing we knew best how people should be. What if we stopped judging others and stopped forcing our expectations of who we think they should be? What is we looked at others with total acceptance while truly believing they are enough just as they are. Maybe people would want to be around more if they felt loved and respected and didn’t have to feel like someone was always trying to analyze or size them up. Maybe it’s just innocent and we don’t realize how we push people away. When we make someone feel good about who they are they will want to be around and that is the one thing that truly matters. Don’t we want others to look at us like we are enough, treat us like we are enough and love us because whoever we are, we will always be enough because someone loves us that much? There is no greater love than that and we all deserve that kind of love. Be that love. Give that love.
There is nothing sweeter and more inspiring than seeing the love between two people. There is an elderly couple who walks at the YMCA the same time I do everyday. The husband is in better shape so he walks at a faster pace but every time he passes his wife, he lovingly rubs her back and keeps on going. He does this every single time and it brings a smile to my face each time I see it. With such hostility and anger in our world today, it warms my soul to witness such gentleness and inspirational love. If you think you don’t make a difference in someone’s life you are probably wrong. We don’t even know the ways we inspire the people who are watching us from the sidelines. This is a reminder to show kindness. Share it, spread it and inspire it in every person who crosses your path. Be a light and lead the way. You are the difference.
The older I get, the less energy I have. It’s not something I can squander anymore. I am intentional with how I spend it. I can guarantee it won’t be on nonsense. Don’t waste your time, breath or energy on anything that doesn’t grow you and certainly don’t waste it on anyone who tries to reduce you. You were meant for so much more. Outgrow the smallness around you and watch your life transform. Pay attention to what you already know deep inside of you. Trust it. Focus on that. You already know so much more than you allow yourself to believe. You weren’t meant to be a fighter, you are here to love and offer your peace to a world who needs you now more than ever. Spread your beautiful light.
Wishing everyone a very happy Valentines Day. What a relief to have a day just focused on love. Sometimes we forget to love and some of us have become so closed off we forget how to love. But today, remember we all need to be loved and each and everyone of us is worthy of love. Share it, spread it. Be the love.
There are days like today where everything is right with the world. Maybe not the world outside my front door but where the world inside my little world feels perfect and amazing. It’s not always this way but in these moments of perfection where peace and contentment gently embrace me, I am truly grateful. My intention is to share some of that with you. That is my wish for you today, to be happy exactly where you are and with exactly who you are in this amazing moment.
Perhaps we should place more merit on someone’s actions rather than our interpretation of their words when we take on the position to actively define them. Actions seem like they should speak louder than words but do they and are we even capable of looking at someone’s actions or words without bias once we’ve already formed an opinion about them?
I am sometimes cold and harsh in the manner in which I speak. I wince to think how I might come off to someone who would never be able to really know my heart or the depth and kindness and gentle loving intention of my thought and soul. My tone, although I am aware and working on it continuously, has remained a challenge I find difficult to master. I grew up in New Jersey and live in Oklahoma. There is no question that the way people talk a long with distinctive mannerisms are quite different depending on where you are from. People are not always who they appear to be and I can almost guarantee they are never who we think they are. There is always more than meets the eye and the eye is limited in so many ways.
Imagine how different our relationships would be if we kept more opinions to ourselves, judged a little less, listened without intent and loved without conditions. What holds more value to you personally? Actions or words?