Sometimes we are in a constant state of busy and distraction. It’s easy to forget that our life has a predetermined set of days, hours and minutes. We get so caught up in the things that don’t matter that we don’t leave enough time for the people who do. Look up from whatever it is you’re doing. Eliminate the things that do not serve you and keep the things and people who do. Never withhold love or attention from someone because you are nursing anger or disappointment. Love them anyway and love them fiercely. One day you will wake up and either your clock or theirs will have run out. I wish we could pop in a magic battery to steal a few extra minutes we overlooked before. We get one chance to love people and one chance to be loved. We can never get the time back that we wasted but we can learn from our mistakes and make our time count. It’s time to step out of ourselves and let others know they do matter.
Saying goodbye is so hard but living without someone is even harder. Love people in a way that leaves an imprint on their heart and allow them to leave one on yours as well. At the end of our lives it won’t matter how many miles we’ve run or how much money we’ve made. What will matter is how much time and love we received and how much we gave with genuine heartfelt and powerful intensity. The kind that stays with us forever whether we are in this world or onto the next. So love fiercely and make each minute of your clock count. Time is a gift. Give it freely.
We have the power to cripple the people in our life but we also have the power to teach them to fly. I can do this with anyone who crosses my path. So many of us don’t know what love is supposed to look like. We want so much to be needed that we fall into a pattern of making the people around us needy. We gain this sense of purpose when we can fix things or save people from uncomfortable circumstances. We cannot even see that what we think is love is crippling the people we claim to love. Love is guiding and nurturing but it’s also teaching and encouraging the ones we love to walk on their own. How did I miss it before? Holding someone back is not love. Encouraging someone to be less than they can be is not love. Love is letting go and allowing people to be. Doing something for someone who can do something for themself is crippling. We have to understand love and recognize what it looks like. We have to define it, make a list and check it twice to know for certain whether our kind of love is crippling. It’s a scary thought but we have to look it in the eye and make the decision to grow the people we have in our lives. Are they growing , shrinking or standing still because of the way we are loving them? Tough question to think about but time to ask.
What happens when two people interpret love in entirely different ways? Maybe relationships fail in the misunderstanding of what love is to the other person. If we love in a way we think is love instead of loving someone a way he or she needs to be loved, someone is going to end up hurt. So what is love to you? How do you define it? What does loving you look like? Maybe that is the one question that we fail to ask that could be the breakthrough in every relationship. To me, love is gentle. It does not force its way. It is listening with the intent to understand and only offers advice when asked. It is a phone call asking are you okay and a heart that whispers, I am here for whatever it is you need. It doesn’t tear me down, it builds me up. It supports, encourages.
Don’t ever tell anyone they are difficult to love. We all want to love and be loved. We are all worthy of love. We all desire to hear what is right with us not what is wrong with us. Words mean something. They can rip someone apart or lift someone up. If your words are causing someone pain, pause and recognize they are not a reflection of love to the other person. Sometimes you may think someone is difficult to love but the truth is you never learned how to love them the way they need you to love. Instead of saying you are the problem, ask how can I be the solution? Sometimes you simply need to really hear what someone is asking of you. Sometimes it’s simpler than you could ever imagine. Loving someone is about the person you are loving as much as it is you who is doing the loving. Ask the question. Do it soon. What do you need from me? How can I love you better? Tell me what love looks like to you? Then and only then you might have a chance to get it right.
Imagine how beautiful our relationships could be if we stopped believing we knew best how people should be. What if we stopped judging others and stopped forcing our expectations of who we think they should be? What is we looked at others with total acceptance while truly believing they are enough just as they are. Maybe people would want to be around more if they felt loved and respected and didn’t have to feel like someone was always trying to analyze or size them up. Maybe it’s just innocent and we don’t realize how we push people away. When we make someone feel good about who they are they will want to be around and that is the one thing that truly matters. Don’t we want others to look at us like we are enough, treat us like we are enough and love us because whoever we are, we will always be enough because someone loves us that much? There is no greater love than that and we all deserve that kind of love. Be that love. Give that love.
There is nothing sweeter and more inspiring than seeing the love between two people. There is an elderly couple who walks at the YMCA the same time I do everyday. The husband is in better shape so he walks at a faster pace but every time he passes his wife, he lovingly rubs her back and keeps on going. He does this every single time and it brings a smile to my face each time I see it. With such hostility and anger in our world today, it warms my soul to witness such gentleness and inspirational love. If you think you don’t make a difference in someone’s life you are probably wrong. We don’t even know the ways we inspire the people who are watching us from the sidelines. This is a reminder to show kindness. Share it, spread it and inspire it in every person who crosses your path. Be a light and lead the way. You are the difference.
The older I get, the less energy I have. It’s not something I can squander anymore. I am intentional with how I spend it. I can guarantee it won’t be on nonsense. Don’t waste your time, breath or energy on anything that doesn’t grow you and certainly don’t waste it on anyone who tries to reduce you. You were meant for so much more. Outgrow the smallness around you and watch your life transform. Pay attention to what you already know deep inside of you. Trust it. Focus on that. You already know so much more than you allow yourself to believe. You weren’t meant to be a fighter, you are here to love and offer your peace to a world who needs you now more than ever. Spread your beautiful light.
Wishing everyone a very happy Valentines Day. What a relief to have a day just focused on love. Sometimes we forget to love and some of us have become so closed off we forget how to love. But today, remember we all need to be loved and each and everyone of us is worthy of love. Share it, spread it. Be the love.