After some really hard work, my inner voice has taken on a brand new tone. As I sat back in my pool float today, I actually heard these words inside my own head. “Relax kid. Enjoy your life”. So that is my mantra for the week. We spend years pondering our purpose in life. Perhaps it is more simple than we ever imagined. Love hard, speak easy, be kind and enjoy the precious life you’ve been given. Have a blessed day.
You can change your life.
I know because I did it.
A year ago, I was in a very dark place. Depression had a death grip on me and I was having frequent anxiety attacks. I was so unsettled in my own skin but the hopelessness I felt was one I thought I would never escape. I was helpless and I reached out but there was no life raft waiting for me as I slipped deeper and deeper into despair. I tried depression medicine and meditation but it only got worse.
A year later I am feeling back to my normal self. I had to change my self talk which eventually led to a change in perspective about my current situation. If I couldn’t change the part I was stuck in then I had no other choice than to change myself and use my perception to gain my power back. My mantra was “the sky is not failing”. You are okay. It took months to convince myself that I would survive my situation. That I could live a happy life right alongside the mess I was in. I decided to lessen my reaction to things that once sent me straight to panic. Ah yes, the sky is not falling and this is only temporary. Patience with myself and gentle reminders turned into a new sense of peace and confidence. I removed myself from negativity and the past few months I have started walking every day. I am up to 35 miles a week and there are no words to express what this has done for me mentally. Most days I feel happy. Did you hear that? Me, happy! And rarely do I feel anxiety for more than a few hours and it doesn’t happen often at all.
Was It easy? Nope. I had to give up my bullshit stories that kept my anxiety alive and thriving. I had to admit that my thinking was most of the problem and the only fix out there was my decision to fix myself. I share this story because I know the silent suffering and wanting someone to take just a little bit of my despair away so I could get through the day. I also share this to tell you that you can overcome this too. It takes patience and a great deal of self love. I hope my success story becomes your own and please know you are not alone. I am out here cheering for you and I know you can do it too. You’ve got this! I promise.
I was looking through photos yesterday and I was amazed at how we change as time moves on. We don’t see it from day to day but compare this years picture to last and the evidence is there. So often I find myself saying, I”ll start tomorrow. I’ll do better tomorrow. I’ll be in a good mood tomorrow. Tomorrow’s find a way of sticking together and before I know it, years have gone by and I’ve missed out on celebrating today because I am always focused on what’s coming next.
What if tomorrow doesn’t come? This is your reminder to be awesome today. Stick to the diet, go for the run, be the person you promised you’d be before you closed your eyes to go to sleep last night. You can do it today and everyday. Change is often so slight that we hardly notice it. We discourage ourselves by convincing our silly minds that one pound is not enough and one good day is barely noticeable. Celebrate those subtle changes everyday. Honor your accomplishes like they are the biggest thing you have ever achieved. Build yourself up and encourage yourself to keep going. Find the strength to say, I AM AMAZING EACH AND EVERYDAY and someone else’s standards will not define me or become my own. I don’t have to wait for tomorrow and who I am does not need to be conditional based on how I think I measure up or against someone’s unfair expectations of me. Those conditions hold me back. They make me feel like a failure because they blind me to all the wonderful things I do and the amazing person I already am. There is no need for perfection. We are already perfect just the way we are and there is no need to strive for something that is no more than a illusion created in our own minds. So again, today be amazing. Be you. Let the world adjust. In a world where our effort is ignored and perfection is the expectation, embrace your imperfection. It is the very thing that makes you real. You are already enough.
As the sun goes down, I am reminded that this day is coming to an end. Every single day that passes is one less day I have left to live. I don’t tell myself these things to feel depressed, I remind myself to take advantage of and appreciate every day. I can spend my time worrying and stressing about the things I will never be able to change or I can find every reason to find something worthwhile in everyday. I sometimes I forget I have a choice. I may not be able to pick and choose my circumstances but I do have power over how I respond to anything and everything that happens. I am committed to living a better life. I am focused on keeping this place of calm where everything is put nearly into perspective so that I can enjoy my time here on this beautiful earth and look forward to getting out of bed to see what wonderful surprises the day might hold. Healthy, happy thoughts take commitment and practice and I feel myself getting better and stronger with each new day. We can choose our thoughts so why not pick more good ones? We are meant to be happy and sometimes the only thing preventing that happiness is our own voice. It’s never too late to make a change.
You know you’ve been living your life all wrong when you wake up feeling a sense of dread instead of the excited energy that makes you want to jump out of bed. This week has been a much needed break from the daily responsibilities of life. We don’t realize how much we do or how stressed we are until we get a little break from our usual routine. This spring break has been a time of hope. A reminder of how life is supposed to be and how happy and grateful I am meant to feel. I hope I can carry this snapshot back into the “real world” as a motivation to live a better, happier, more relaxed way of life. I sometimes focus on so many small things that they become so much bigger than they actually are. This is a reminder to keep things in perspective and not create a narrative bigger than the story has to be. Happy Sunday everyone. May your day be filled with joy and purpose.
I’ve taken a hiatus from writing. I’ve come to understand there is a time to speak as well as a time to listen. Yesterday I returned home from a trip to California. Before I left I was feeling beat down and in dire need of an escape. Sometimes responsibility piles up and before I know it, I am drowning in myself. What I learned is the answer is not somewhere on a plane. The solution is not skipping town or running away. Sometimes we simply need some time away from a place to really appreciate its value. I cannot even begin to express how much I appreciate being back home. It is quiet here. Except for an occasional red light, there is not an endless line of traffic. My bed is just right and I had to drag myself out of it at ten o’clock today. I have peace here, peace of mind and a sense of calm I won’t find anyplace else. Home is the best escape I have ever known and today I am extremely grateful to be right here in the middle of it. We fool ourselves into believing the grass is greener everywhere else. Sometimes we just lose sight of the grass beneath our feet because we stop looking down. Don’t forget to appreciate what you already have. The grass may look greener on the other side but this is your reminder that looks can be very deceiving.
I used to think that certain triggers bring out the worst in some people. The truth is people show their true colors over time. Haters gonna hate, lovers gonna love, peace keepers gonna keep the peace. When I see some of the horrible comments people make and the all too willing judgements they are willing to pass, it’s hard to deny that there is an ugliness that exists in these difficult times. People are obsessed with complaining and demeaning and feel its their personal responsibility to be everyone’s judge and jury. Instead of getting angry, I do my best to use this realization to be a better person. We have to stop this negativity toward one another and find a way to rise above our own smallness and grow people tall. We are not in this world to make others look small and we certainly don’t appear any bigger cutting someone else down to size. As we go through this day, pay attention to how many times your thoughts lead to judgement. Count how many times you silently wish someone well. You may just be surprised at the quality and quantity of each thought. Awareness is the key to making significant change, so today just be aware.