It’s Not Them, It’s You

Sometimes our eyes deceive us. Isn’t it amazing how 2 people can see exactly the same thing, yet not agree on the way it looks? I realize more and more that the filter we look through determines what and how we see. Do you know anyone who looks through a filter of anger and resentment? How about someone who looks through a filter of denial? Blame? Resentment? Love? Gratitude? Thankfulness? Forgiveness? Grace? Jealousy? We can look at the same person through each one of these filters and the picture that is reflected back can be tainted in a good or horrible way depending on the condition of our heart.

I love this verse. Luke 6:45-47

People are known in this same way. Out of the virtue stored in their hearts, good and upright people will produce good fruit. But out of the evil hidden in their hearts, evil ones will produce what is evil. For the overflow of what has been stored in your heart will be seen by your fruit and will be heard in your words.

So today, ask yourself, how am I seeing people? What is the condition of my heart and how is that reflected by the fruit of my words? Don’t look at others and judge who they are, look into yourself and ask, how do the words I speak make others feel? Are you speaking words of love or words of anger and bitterness? Are you speaking encouragement or criticism? Love or hate? Stop looking at the person across from you and look into your own heart. Maybe you cannot see anything good about someone because your heart is ugly towards them.

When I can’t see something good in someone I pray that God helps me to see that person through His eyes. Lord, help me love them the way You do.

We have to stop thinking it’s everyone else even if people agree that it is. We can team up with others in a way that we see through the same filter. More than likely there’s nothing wrong with who you are looking at but everything’s wrong because of the filter you are choosing to see them through. Don’t like what you see? Change your filter and fix the condition of your heart then watch how beautiful everyone starts to look.

WHAT Do YOU Think?

I loved philosophy class when I was back in college. I am an over thinker by nature and I love when a new aha moment pops into my head. I used to be intrigued by the quote by Descartes:

I think, therefore I am.

What if the same was true in reverse? I am, therefore I think. I feel like that phrase alone raises the level of accountability with the thoughts we think. It is our responsibility to make sure that our thoughts come from our inner self and that what we think is not shaped or changed because we place too much value on information we get outside of ourselves. In a time where we have so many opinion shows and stations, is a wonder we are so confused? Go inward and listen to your own voice. Just something to think about today.

THIS is the Day

This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Have you ever met someone who cannot find good in anything? It pains my heart to hear incessant complaining. Their words may change but the tone is always the same…nothing is good, everything is awful. What’s even more devastating is when a person cannot love and fully enjoy another human being because all they can see is what is wrong with him while at the same time missing all that is right.

This post is a reminder to pay attention to the tone of your thoughts and words. What you think and say will directly affect how you feel and there a good chance if you are feeling really miserable, your words and thoughts are miserable too. I know it’s hard to change. I have found myself in this trap as well but I can tell you that there is one thing that will pull you out of that dark hole every single time. Purposely make a mental list of things to be grateful for everyday. Just go through the motions at first and fake it if you must. With time, what you write down will feel more genuine and you will retrain your heart and mind to live in a place of gratitude. It will change your life and I want that for each one of you. Let’s start right now. What are you grateful for today? I am grateful I get to wake up next to a man who loves and supports me with his whole heart and that I feel his love for me every single day. Your turn now. Go! Tell me what you’re grateful for.

Find Yourself

Today I went to a new church. It couldn’t have been more different than the one I have known my entire life. It occurred to me as I sat there that I have been listening to the same message for the past 40+ years. I’ve felt so stuck lately. In my heart and my mind I have longed to find a new me… a deeper me ready to live a life full of passion and fulfillment. Something has been holding me back. I’ve been numb for so long, a much duller version of myself than I am meant to be. Be a good girl, perfect mom, devoted wife, endearing daughter. Be quiet, be patient, be better, be stronger. Be this, be that….be whatever and whoever everyone thinks you should be. The demands never seem to end. I have been confined by the opinions and labels of others. Every expectation is another chain that keeps me locked in the prison I have chosen for myself. Link by link I have built my existence and I am ready to break free. I’ve been searching for me on the same map all these years. It is finally clear that I have have been looking for answers to my deepest questions from the same sources all this time. How could I possibly grow when I never had the courage to seek a path I had never traveled? How could I evolve if I only interact with the same crowd, listen to the same voices? What if they’ve been right the whole time or even worse, what if they’ve been wrong? When will I have the courage to stand up and proudly and confidently say this is me without being forced to apologize or be shamed? Today I took the first step on this new path and I am more excited than ever before. Today I followed my own inner voice and I took a step in a direction that has been calling me for some time. This is a reminder to live bravely and walk boldly in your own shoes. Turn down the chatter of the world and once again you will begin to think for yourself. You are in there waiting to be rediscovered. Now go rescue yourself before time runs out.

Fairytales Are A Silly Myth

I didn’t fully grasp that life was unfair until I became an adult. I grew up dreaming of being a princess. It didn’t take me long to discover that fairytales were only in books. The boy didn’t always get the girl, things didn’t always always work out the way we wanted in the end and we rarely get the things we tell ourselves we deserve. Sometimes we have to settle. We have to find a way to be happy and grateful even when Gods plan turns out different than our own. We need to stop fighting what is and challenge ourselves to find gratitude in the times we feel our greatest struggle. We need to accept that perfect just doesn’t exist in an imperfect world. We have to stop believing we are entitled to everything we want especially when we are still unsatisfied after all we get. We think it’s all about me, me, me but the world is so much bigger than the small space in which we live. How do we start to flow in the direction that life is taking us? How do we trust that we will be okay in the end that is so different from the one we planned? Maybe that is part of our purpose, to stop fighting and start flowing. It’s exhausting living a life where we are constantly going against the current. Life isn’t meant to hard. Sometimes we make it that way. We were born to lean in, extend a hand and make the best of what we are blessed enough to have. The question is, how many of us are living that way?

Thoughts From a Heavy Heart

I don’t want to see this but every direction I look I find it staring back at me. I’m a lover not a fighter so my heart is heavy in this place it is forced to survive.

When we declare war we either fight to the death or until someone surrenders. Not many are willing to give or compromise these days so sometimes death seems like the only option. People become dead to us, relationships are destroyed and ideas are dead on arrival. Sad result either way. Eventually, people caught in the crossfire will be forced to choose sides which will backfire on one side or the other. I often wonder when enough is enough and if the amount of ground we gain is really ever worth the cost. What if we gain it all and still we want more? What if the path to peace and happiness is unattainable because happiness is not something we go out and find? Maybe the true destination is where we are right now on this day exactly the way we are. Maybe the plan is to find peace there and recognize that happiness is a choice we make in spite of everything else going on around us.

I wonder when enough will ever feel like enough as I shove hershey egg #17 into my mouth. Hypocrisy is alive and well and until we recognize it especially within ourselves, we will never find common ground.

Thoughts Become Things

We all have concerns and one of them is that our concern far outweighs anyone else’s. We really do believe that our problem is the end of the world and that it merits the time and attention of other people. Sometimes all people. We are consumed with ourselves to the point that we forget we are just one of so many. I am getting lost in people’s demands. It’s as if everyone is owed something and people will continue to throw tantrums until they get it. I see a lot of acting out. I for one don’t support it and I believe it encourages an environment that is truly unpleasant to live in. Why this need to suck people into our own despair? Why the desire for people to feel our pain? Have people forgotten how to negotiate? Sometimes you have to take less than you want, give a little to get something or at least bend, take what you can and be thankful. Anger and frustration leads to more of the same. Gratitude and appreciation bring more to be grateful for. I just think people are going about things the wrong way and inflicting the opposite of what they intend for themselves. What you focus on you get more of. Ask yourself one difficult question? What am I focused on? What is the general feeling I send off into the Universe? Don’t be surprised if you are getting back exactly what you give. You cannot change all your circumstances but you can change your way of thinking and how you perceive them. Pay attention to your thoughts. You know what they say, thoughts become things. Send out the vibration you want to get back and your life will change.

I Can and I Will

It’s a trick so don’t allow yourself to be fooled. When your mind comes up with a million reasons why you can’t, remember that you can. Everything is a choice and we have to start making the ones that are good for our body, mind and spirit. Don’t listen to the bs stories you tell yourself. Be stronger than your excuses. The first step is showing up. Start there. Repeat after me. I CAN and I WILL. End of conversation.

Today Will Be Amazing

I remember a time when I would wake up feeling absolute dread for what was about to come. I waited hour by hour for the ball to drop and when it finally did, there was no surprise. I decided I couldn’t live that way anymore and I vowed to change my thoughts and start expecting something amazing instead of the worst possible outcome. It took time and discipline but I celebrated the welcome change. Now I wake up excited and feel grateful for the opportunity to experience another day. I allow myself to slow down and really take in the little things that inspire me and I leave the things that drain me behind. I just didn’t notice the blessings before. I was so caught up in fear and dread of my own making that I lost sight of the good right there in front of me all along.

Today, celebrate the little things. Give anything positive focused attention and repeat these words throughout the day, today will be amazing. Do it for a week and see if you notice a difference. I am betting you will. No go out and have an amazing day!

Don’t Try And Change My World. Change Your Own

It has taken me 46 years to realize that inner peace and true happiness are not conditional. I hear so many people speak about the things they want abolished or changed. If only we could take away this or change that… then we would be in a better place. Guns, the president and social media seem to be the most common. I hate to be the person to break this news but we could remove one thing at a time until there was nothing left except people and still there would be a problem and people would be stressed and unhappy. Unfortunately, people are the root of most problems and certainly the main cause of their own insanity and unhappiness. We can pretend to create a perfect world but perfect to you and perfect to me look like very different pictures. We waste so much life and energy wishing to change things instead of learning to be happy and find peace in the place we are in. You will only find true peace and happiness while being whoever you are, wherever you are , in the moment that is present right now. If you catch yourself saying, “I would be happy if I could remove this from my life”, remind yourself that you can be happy in-spite of it. That’s just a story you tell yourself that isn’t true. You have to find your place of peace and happiness in the reality you find yourself in today. There is no way around reality so find a balance and adjust your thinking. The world will not magically change because you think it should. The only thing you can control is your attitude and your perspective. Change your thoughts, change your world.