It started off innocently enough. I walk 5 miles a day and today I just wanted to change it up so I decided to go to the mall for a change of scenery. There was a young girl working a kiosk and she called me over to sample a facial cream. What do you do she asked? When I told her I was a stay at home mom she asked how old my kids were. When I mentioned my youngest was 15, she replied “Oh, you’re lazy.”
For years I’ve felt myself cringe after that simple question. What do you do? As if the job I hold gives any indication of who I am. People don’t seem to care about that these days. They don’t care what kind of heart you have or the amount of you you’ve willingly sacrificed to have some semblance of a good marriage and family. I don’t judge other people or how they live their lives and I would appreciate it if people would keep their opinions to themselves. What kind of world have we turned into that we feel it’s okay to not only insult and judge a total stranger, but one we are trying to get to buy our product? It makes me sad to be around people. I have a kind heart and the best of intentions but there are some mean spirited people out there that think their behavior is acceptable while they stand there and size me up and judge me by what I do for an occupation. I feel like printing a a t-shirt that reads,
I do nothing.
I am nothing.
Then we can skip the conversation and get on with getting on. The truth is I never ask that question because I just don’t care. Where you work is where you work period. I don’t think any one person has more value than another because of what job they choose. What I do is my business and to that clueless girl selling lotion in the mall, my job is to do me and I will have the respect and humility to let you do you. I am really feeling discouraged today but I will bounce back. Even when I mind my own business and keep to myself, I feel accosted by the mean-spiritedness of others. I’ve finally had enough. We live in a world of mean, opinionated bullies who will never learn the art of shutting their mouths because they feel it is their right to bulldoze anyone and everyone. I’m out. I’m done. Not my game, not my kind of people. I will not allow people like this into my life. Not on a daily basis, not on social media, no place where I am ever again. I will not stay silent to be peaceful anymore. Sometimes people need to be put in their place and unfortunately, they are the same people that never are.
Just be kind and if you can’t manage that, do us all a favor and just be quiet.
You can stand up for love and understanding or you can stand up for hate and condemnation. You just can’t have it both ways. The difference is how you define the two and what it means to you. There alone lies the problem. Perspective is everything.
Either way be kind. Use your words to lift others up. Use your time to work on improving yourself. Use your energy to spread your light and make the world shine brighter each and everyday. Raise the vibration not your voice.
How will you use the power you’ve been given today?
It can’t be a coincidence that just the right person comes into our lives at just the right moment. Sometimes I get stuck in my limited thinking and someone comes along who offers a new hope and a new perspective on a situation that has grown discouraging and stale. Today I say thank you to people who take time to lift others up. Thank you to the special ones who do not stand and judge but rather listen with a compassionate heart. You are the real leaders, the difference makers and a ray of hope for our desperately lost souls.
I walk a minimum of 5 miles a day. On Thursday I walked ten. I love to be outside and feel the sun on my back and the wind in my face. A year ago, I suffered from anxiety and depression to the point I thought I was going to break. I thought the only way to escape it would be to find a way out of my skin. I felt trapped and helpless and the light at the end of the tunnel grew extremely dim. One day I made the decision that I had to break free from the prison I had created for myself. I couldn’t live that way anymore because it didn’t feel like living at all. Walking offered a new hope, a calm that I had been running after for quite some time. Today a neighbor I had never met before stopped me to discuss the opinion he had of my yard. He didn’t stop to to say hello or even to tell me to have a nice day. That is what the world has become these days.
This post is a reminder to everyone who takes the time to read it. You only see the 5 to 10 miles I walk in my shoes each day. What you don’t see are the miles that wear me down as I fight and struggle to be happy in a world I don’t even feel is where I belong.
Life is short.
Mind your own damn business.
Smile at someone.
Don’t judge others shoes or think you have any clue about the path that others walk. You only know what you see and looks can be quite deceiving. Be a nice person and offer someone hope and keep your opinions to yourself.
The world needs more compassion and kindness and less criticism and resistance.
More love and less arguments.
More happiness and gratitude and less bitching.
More smiles and less scowls.
More hope and less despair.
Be the light in someone else’s tunnel.
The world needs you now more than ever.
I need you.
Be the light in someone else’s darkness.
Be the difference.
When I was young, if my mom made a decision about something it was over. I wasn’t expected to make a speech expressing my disappointment and opposition to her ruling because I thought her reason for making me stay home from the party was invalid because it went against what I wanted. I had the right to an opinion and for everyone’s well being, I kept it to myself. I was taught to respect authority and especially my parents. These days, long after the ruling comes down or the vote is over, people are given the opportunity to express themselves. It doesn’t change the outcome and the bottom line stays the same. What it does though is demean or devalue the process. When did our opinions become so important that we all started to believe we had the right to be heard. An obligation almost. I know all about freedom of speech but I’m pretty sure what is going on today is not what the Founding Fathers had in mind. Maybe we need to add freedom to be quiet so we find a place of balance between the two. I guess what I’m trying to say is people talk too much and listen too little. When everyone forces their words on everyone else, we put up barriers. We stop wanting to listen to crying over spilled milk. There comes a time when enough is enough but people never seem to learn to put those limits on themselves. It’s about what I want, what I need and I’m gonna keep talking about it until you are sick of my voice. Hear me now? No? Not yet? I will talk longer and louder and plan speeches until you don’t hear anything else but what I have to say. That is the attitude and thinking of many today. I just want to find some quiet. A safe place to curl up with a blanket and listen to the rain or the wind. I want to be free of voices and dissension and disrespect and opinions because those things hold no value in my little corner of the world. Maybe that is why I love blogging. It is a quiet obsession. I’m not forcing anyone to hear my words. Reading my blogs is their choice and I can’t speak any louder if someone isn’t listening. It simply is what it is. I pray we find a way to be more tolerant and respectful of one another. We are ego driven, selfish human beings and it’s time to fix our mistakes. One can only hope I’m not the only one who feels this way but who knows. Just be kind. Listen at least as much as you talk and praise at least as much as you demean. Let’s start there.
Wake up and set an intention to make the world a better place by the role you play in it. Open a door for someone, start a conversation, give someone a compliment. Make a positive difference. Be the change. Have a great day!
It was just an ordinary day as I walked through the front door of the yoga studio. From the first moment I spent time in that sacred space, I knew it was special. To be honest, I’ve tried yoga at other places. It’s never been quite the same. What is it about that place that makes me feel so at peace, so at home? Sometimes I forget who I am. My true essence is buried someplace underneath the words people use to describe me. Why did I start to believe them? I am not those words. Maybe to some degree they fit my behavior but I am so much more. More than they see, more than I show. I do it too and I never realized how destructive it was until today. We use adjectives to describe people. We don’t think twice to label them or share our opinion of who we think they are. I realized how much damage some of my own words must have caused, especially for some of the people I love the most. I am supposed to love them and protect them but somewhere along the way I’ve forgotten what my real purpose is in their lives. It’s not to judge or define them. It is to love and accept them exactly the way they are. Why is that so difficult? With each tick of the clock I feel more ashamed. Try as I may, I can’t shake this sadness that overwhelms me. Why do I have this need to define people, label them, assign names to them? You are a disgrace. You are lazy. You are selfish. You are annoying. Oh my God! As I type the words my stomach hurts. I am no better than the people I call out. Why is it not okay for them but fine for me?
Then I got it today, why that studio feels so much like home. There are baskets by the door. Everyone undresses and leaves their shoes and socks and sweatshirts in them. We quietly peel off the labels and place them neatly in the drawers. We leave behind judgement and pride next to our keys. We are all vulnerable there. We are brave. We leave everything outside as we step into that dark room and close the door behind us. I am free. I can breath and the world is lifted off my shoulders. I smile as I lie down on my back. I think to myself, I am so happy to be here today. And then it dawns on me. No one is there to judge or define me and I am not there to do it either. For the next 60 minutes, I feel loved and important and worthy. I feel the weight of my body on my mat grounded into this precious earth. I feel the enormous power of my heart as I feel it beat inside of me. I am love. I am here to love. I have found myself again. This is me peeking out from behind the walls I put up to protect myself. This is me safe from the words people use to define me. I am safe here in my own body, connected to my soul and all I feel is love…
Because I am love.
Sometimes I just forget…
And I’m here to remind you that you are that same love too.